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Elizabeth Emerald

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  • ''Brief'' Shopping Expedition

    ''Brief'' Shopping Expedition

    Scott learns that size matters
    from 34 reviews.
    General  Non-Fiction
  • *** FAREWELL FRlENDS ***

    *** FAREWELL FRlENDS ***

    Departure from StoryLand Pending
    from 62 reviews.
    General  Non-Fiction
  • Go Scott!

    Go Scott!

    Our outspoken saint lets loose
    from 23 reviews.
    General  Non-Fiction
Full Portfolio


Elizabeth Emerald: A few hours ago, my PC got infected by the virtual equivalent of the coronavirus, consequential to which was mandatory isolation. It was locked down, purportedly for my protection. "Microsoft" generated an ominous message: "Windows Defender Security Code - threat detected - Trojan spyware - call tech support 888?896?8213 immediately to unlock your PC - do not attempt to restart." 
The warning notwithstanding, I turned off the power and attempted to restart, alas, to no avail. The message was especially obnoxious given it was accompanied by nonstop back-up vocals that repeatedly recited the text of the manically flashing pop-up error box.
I was rightly suspicious that the lockdown program itself was the Trojan horse. I'd recently learned - profuse thanks due to a fan's post - can't recall whose - that as tech support "helps" they scoop information as to your passwords and credit card (and I didn't want to pay regardless).
I called the number provided and expressed my suspicions. Though the technician seemed sincere -instructing me to use F1 to quash the vocals and offering the option to call the geek squad at Best Buy if I was "uncomfortable" - I declined to proceed with his assistance.
Luckily, I had another PC at my disposal and Google found malware.tips.com, which confirmed this was indeed a scam. Even better, the site provided step-by-step instructions - with screen shots - as to how to unlock the computer by using CTRL-ALT-DEL to invoke the task bar and close down the browser - then restart - after which, be sure to DECLINE the restore option.
    Teri7: I had that happen to me too. They kept wanting to sell me a bigger package money wise to help my computer. I turned it off and hung up. When I turned it back on my computer worked fine, no thanks to them. -


Elizabeth Emerald: What Are "My" Pronouns?

The answer is obvious to "me."

Here's how "I" see it:

This PC replacement for "nice to meet you" has no relevance in the context of the exchange of introductions between two people. Notwithstanding the particulars of the parties' genders or the ambiguities thereof, each will naturally proceed to address the other as "you."

Reserve the pronoun query for large group interactions, wherein its awkwardness is trumped by the potential for distress due to genders being misconstrued.


Elizabeth Emerald: SAD NEWS:
Raffaelina Lowcock, aka Ralf, died on January 22, 2022.

Ralf was a loyal fan, a prolific reviewer, and a fine writer. Amongst her portfolio is a stunning novel "Learning to Swim." Each chapter title is a clever play on the theme. Check it out.

Thanks to Judy Lawless for googling OBITs

Ralf made it to 90. RIP
    Jasmine Girl: Sorry to hear this and I remember her. 90 years old was a long life. -


Elizabeth Emerald:
Per my profile post of last month, I was canned as editor by "Dicktor," the demented despot owner of an online publication. I'd stepped in when his one-and-only remaining editor, Raffaella, resigned --on account of family concerns-- after years of loyal, unpaid, service.

Dicktor told Raffaella he was "disappointed" that she was leaving; never once did he follow up to express support as to her stressful circumstances.

Fast forward one month. Dicktor -- desperate to get her back now that he'd got rid of me -- emailed Raffaella, filled her in as to my departure, and implored her to contact him immediately.

In light of how dismissively he'd treated her, Raffaella declined to respond.

Virtual vengeance is mine!

Epilogue: Dicktor's one-man show is circling the drain.


Elizabeth Emerald: I just underwent an ugly implosion of a short-lived intense connection wherein I failed to live up to the exalted intellectual and ethical standards of an erstwhile fervent fan on another site. I am shaking as I write this, sickened that this person blasted me for ignorance and laxity as to exploring nuance amidst what he construes as incontrovertible truth.

Have you had a similar experience either here or in another context?
    karenina: The best revenge is to live well!

    (And tell him try go &%#& himself!)

    Just sayin!

    -


Elizabeth Emerald: February blues, Marching ahead ...

I want to post-date my birthday, the 17th, by a month.
As it is, I get gypped because my birthday gets conflated with Valentine?s Day.

Though at present, alas, the issue is moot.

Add to my wish-list: fast-forward my birth-year from 19xx to 19xx+40.
    karenina: Happy Birthday Liz!

    -
    Jumbo J: So sorry I missed your birthday Liz.
    Regardless, I hope you had a beautiful, joyous, peaceful day... and hey(((((((, Happy belated wishes.
    Health, harmony and happiness always dear friend! -


Elizabeth Emerald: File this under:
THE PERILS OF SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS

I just read an article by an editor off-site, who began by saying she bailed out of a story after being put off because the word "like" appeared twice in one sentence. She segued to a general admonition as to laziness and carelessness.

It was an impressively impassioned and on point exposition, notwithstanding which it was rife with typos (tactfully speaking) and punctuation omissions I didn't say run-on sentences infer what you will

I take grate care too elinimate tpyos, and aslo ass well, not to mention, it goes without saying I strive to aim to avoid and eschew needlessly extraneous superfluous redundancy Cheers LIZ

    karenina: You SLAY me!
    Grin...

    Karenina -
    Mary Kay Bonfante : Hilarious, Liz! -


Elizabeth Emerald: Backstory below as to my having been suspended from my role as editor of "Genius in a Bottle."

I've been mulling on variations of my "you can't fire me, I quit" letter. Here's the sneak preview of my favorite:

I am awed by your lenient sentence for this unforgivable breach of protocol. I deserve nothing less than permanent banishment.

Be assured: This ignoble idiot will nevermore disgrace the Genius in your Bottle.

Best of luck working with him going forward.

Cheers.
LIZ



    karenina: I went you my rant!

    Meant every word! -


Elizabeth Emerald: The despot publisher of the virtual venue "Genius in a Bottle," alias Dicktor, canned me as editor (for starters: "suspended for a fortnight") for transferring "his" log entry of a published piece from the "pending" section to the "published" section.

Dicktor blames me for pushing the "Publish" button (a technicality in this case, given that he'd marked it as good to go).

I told Dicktor the piece had been published hours earlier; thus, I assumed he had done it and neglected to log it.

As to how it got published -- there WERE just the two of us -- the mystery remains.

Moot, alas, now that Dickie is left to fiddle with himself.
    karenina: Hmmm. I'm not an FBI agent... But I can follow up he crumbs!

    How does he manage to shave without injury? With those two faces!

    Peter Principle: He has risen to the level of his own incompetence...

    (I almost wrote "incontinence!)




    -


Elizabeth Emerald: I just completed the second half of a virtual marathon. I didn't have to get off my backside--but it was an effort indeed!

I am appalled to confess that I was 407 review responses in arrears. Yesterday, I knocked them down to 176, and I responded to the rest this evening. Whew! Apologies to all for my tardiness.
    sandramitchell: You're forgiven!! LOL xx -
    karenina: Wow! You made quick work of that! I'm impressed! You were not tardy...you were "fashionably late!" (Smile)

    Rest time!

    -
    karenina: Wow! You made quick work of that! I'm impressed! You were not tardy...you were "fashionably late!" (Smile)

    Rest time!

    -


Elizabeth Emerald: As to the catch-22 below, another avenue to for ID is obtaining a passport--alas, the same dilemma applies.

My game plan is to get a notarized letter from my lawyer as to vouching for my identity and go to a nearby passport office--IF they aren't closed on account of coronaphobia--I shall call tomorrow.

I do have my birth certificate (no certification stamp as required) and I have SSN cards in both names and an expired license with my photo (different hair color).

I'm hoping I can charm the clerk to accept these documents as proof. If I can't muster sufficient charm in the face of bureaucratic constraints (scratch the "IF") I will lie and say I was told when I called that given my special circumstances, they would accept my documentation--

--though there would be a processing surcharge of $50, payable in cash--which I would wave in the face of the clerk, and hope s/he would take the bribe.
    Gloria ....: I thought you would've already had a passport. By the sounds of it, they are a lot easier to obtain in the USA, than in Canada. It's a lengthy process here.

    How often do you renew your driver's licenses in the US?

    None of the ID you mentioned would be accepted in Canada as proof you are who you say you are. -
    Elizabeth Emerald: We have to renew every 5 years. If we let it lapse more than 2 years, we have to retake the road test. There's no way I can get things together by the 2-year mark, and there is no way I would pass a road test. So, the license route is moot--that's why I'm focusing on a passport.

    Doubly ironic dilemma, given I that I neither travel nor drive. -
    Gloria ....: Just a comment regarding your other profile thought. Profile thoughts are a pull-down tab from Community, so everything you post here is for public perusal without going into your profile.

    I find a passport the best ID of all, and unless you are Jason Bourne you only get one. Here you need three references who are professionals and also part of a society. For example the engineer's society, or the law society because they have to vouch for the person they are representing and a false claim can result in them losing their license to practice in their field. Those references are scrupulously followed up on before a passport is issued.

    Canadians can't cross the border into the US without a passport, or an enhanced driver's license. All increased security after 9/11.

    I expect you will achieve your goal, and have a great story to write about after all is said and done.

    -
    Elizabeth Emerald: Mystery solved--I knew community comments went on the profile page, but not vice versa. I'd have no better luck in Canada--no one I know is in a professional society--and if they were, doubtful they'd vouch for me! -


Elizabeth Emerald: File this under: Circularity Sucks

As to renewal of my driver's license, I am faced with two dilemmas:

1) I cannot renew my license without my birth certificate, and I cannot get my birth certificate without a license.

2) My current name is not my birth name. I cannot produce the requisite legal documents. My name change was not processed through the courts (it is not required to be), nor was it consequent to marriage or divorce.

The irony is that I don't drive; I need the license as an ID.


    Gloria ....: Can't you use your passport? -
    Elizabeth Emerald: I don't have a passport--same dilemma as to getting one. But I have a devious idea ... -
    Elizabeth Emerald: See above if you can spare two minutes. -
    jlsavell: Elizabeth,

    What state do you live in?

    How long has your drivers license been expired and have you been to the Bureau of Vital Statistics in the county of which you were born?

    Are your parents still living? You can get one of your parents to get your birth certificate. Do they have a photo ID.

    Also, if you can get to the county you were born in and apply there, taking your SSN and expired license, they should be able to help. Call them directly. The county clerk should be a great help. Again, better success in the county you were born in.

    As for your name change, inquire about the procedure. Usually they are closed documents and the clerk can assist you through listing the correct name of your parents on the application. -
    Elizabeth Emerald: Thanks for stopping by and for the detailed tips! How did you happen upon my profile? I'm pleasantly surprised when anyone, even my regular readers, checks my page.

    I live in Mass, born in NYC. Not feasible to go in person; regardless, no walk-ins allowed due to coronaphobia. My parents are dead.

    We have to renew every 5 years. If we let it lapse more than 2 years, we have to retake the road test. There's no way I can get things together by the 2-year mark--my birthday is Feb 17--and there is no way I would pass a road test. So, the license route is moot--that's why I'm focusing on a passport (despite that I don't travel). If you care to see my devious plan, look above ...

    Cheers. LIZ


    -


Elizabeth Emerald: DOES ANYONE HAVE NEWS OF RAFFAELINA LOWCOCK (RALF)? Two months ago, she posted about a dire diagnosis of leukemia. We'd been corresponding regularly--in her last communication, at least a month ago, she said she'd decided not to pursue treatment, except for blood transfusions. She has not responded to my recent messages.
    damommy: No, I haven't, but I've been wondering about her. Please let me know if you hear from her. -
    karenina: She has not responded to my PM's either...

    Whoever hears from her, please let us know how she's doing!

    -
    Elizabeth Emerald: Still no word--I fear she's dead--I don't know who to contact. -


FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations! 2021 Short Works Writer of the Year.
    Mrs. KT: Congratulations, Liz! -
    Gloria ....: Way to go, LIZ. :)) -
    karenina: I hope you get a trophy and a zillion member bucks and some real cash and....

    Oh, never mind...just be happy as I am for you!

    Woohoo!
    Congratulations! -
    lancellot: Congratulations. You rocked it. -
    Carlos' girl: Congratulations -
    Melodie Michelle: Great job!
    Congratulations my friend!!!!! -
    lyenochka: Congratulations, Liz!!

    -
    Jay Squires: How did this slip past my watchful eyes? You are so worthy of the honor, Liz! -


FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations! Winner of the Reviewing Contest!
    phill doran: well done Liz! -
    LisaMay: Congratulations Liz! Sssssstupendous! -
    damommy: Congratulations! -
    Carlos' girl: Excellent -
    Carlos' girl: Excellent -
    lyenochka: Congratulations, Liz!!
    -
    Jay Squires: Don't know whether my congratulations went through or not, since I pushed the wrong button. Anyway, you are worthy of the award! -
    Sally Law: Congratulations, Liz! Stellar achievement. Sal XOs... -
    juliaSjames: -
    juliaSjames: Congratulations!!!

    Julia
    -
    judiverse: Congratulations on your reviewing contest win. Don't wear your eyes out. judi -
    Irish Rain: Congratulations!!! -
    Jannypan (Jan) : WooHoo! CONGRATULATIONS, LIZ! -
    lancellot: Congratulations -
    Wendy G: Congratulations - a well deserved win! -
    Seshadri_Sreenivasan: Great! You have always been a super reviewer. Well deserved recognition. have learnt a lot from your reivers. Keep it up! Cheers! -
    Gloria ....: Congratulations to you. :)) -
    AJ McCall: CONGRATS! -
    GregoryCody: HOW COOL! And so well deserved. Seriously. You've made a legit difference to me... -
    Wendy G: Congratulations Liz - definitely deserved! -
    Seshadri_Sreenivasan: Warmest congratulations on your achievement and best wishes for your next adventure!?
    Cheers! Happy New 2022!
    Sesha -
    Dolly'sPoems: Congratulations Elizabeth for achieving the top spot for your short stories, so well deserved, love Dolly x -


Elizabeth Emerald: 10/1/21 at 9:25 pm:
I was told that someone coined the word SMIZE for smile through a mask. I thought why not SMASK or SMISK?

I am astounded to find that those "obvious" coinages have no google hits.

This is the first time that "my" clever coinages had not been independently invented, multiple times, many years earlier, as evidenced by zillions of google hits.

If you're reading this, kindly bear witness to my creations.
    Midi O'Rourke: hahahahaha -
    AJ McCall: Smh... -
    MissMerri: I'm smizing at your cleverness Liz. To me, the ize stands for eyes, which is the part that smiles when you're wearing a mask. But... it is sometimes difficult to keep smiling when you are forced to wear a mask. -


FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Second place finish in the reviewing contest!
    Carlos' girl: Wonderful! -
    Senyai: Hi Elizabeth, congratulations on your win! 🎉🎉 -
    sandramitchell: Congratulations on second place, Liz, very well done. I think I came in 1,220th 😂🤣 xx -
    AJ McCall: Congrats! -
    Irish Rain: Congratulations!! -
    Jay Squires: Congratulations, Liz! You are a blazing star in the time of Cosmic Warming! -
    lyenochka: Congratulations, Liz!!
    -
    karenina: Congratulations on second place!
    Karenina -


FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations! Third place finish in the Reviewing Contest!
    damommy: Congratulations! -
    AJ McCall: CONGRATS! -
    Carlos' girl: Excellent -
    K Arlington Andrews: 👍 Good Job -
    karenina: Always excellent reviews!
    Congratulations!

    Karenina -
    Wendy G: Congratulations! Well deserved! -
    Senyai: Congratulations, Elizabeth! 🎉 Brilliant reviewer ✅ -
    Midi O'Rourke: Congratulations! A lot of time and effort goes into GOOD reviewing! -
    Jester!: Thank you Elizabeth. So many little gotcha's to catch. I've been through this chapter 7 or 8 times and still...uh. And, it's for sale as a Kindle. This is my first novel so I am reaching back to high school to remember rules of grammar. Do you use an app to help with these things?
    -


FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations! Third Place Finish in the Reviewing Contest!
    rama devi: 😀 Congrats! -
    lyenochka: Congratulations, Liz!!
    -
    karenina: Always number one in my book!
    Congratulations!

    Karenina -
    Carlos' girl: Always a positive presence -


FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations! Third place finish in the reviewing contest!
    damommy: Congratulations! -
    lyenochka: Congratulations, Liz!

    -
    --Turtle.: Nice job! -
    karenina: Well of COURSE! No recount needed! Always a first class reviewer!

    Congrats!

    Karenina -
    Judy Lawless: Congratulations! Well deserved. -
    Lana Marie: Oh no !!! Did I hit the wrong #, let me edit that -
    Begin Again: Congratulations, Liz. It takes a lot of time and dedication to keep up with all the reading, reviewing, and writing.

    Congratulations! -
    Carlos' girl: Excellent -
    Theodore McDowell: congrats -
    Ben Colder : Well done. -


FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations! Winner of the Reviewing Contest!
    karenina: WINNER of the Reviewing Contest! Awesome and so well deserved!

    (I was thrilled to be among those with honorable mention for the first time...)

    You're writing excels in your posts and your thoughtful reviews! So glad to see that recognized!

    HUGE FAN!

    Karenina -
    LisaMay: Recognized Writer for March AND Reviewer of the Month - very well deserved on both fronts. -
    Gloria ....: Way to go, LIZ. :)) -
    LeftHandedScribe: Yay Liz! Well deserved! -
    juliaSjames: Congratulations! Well done!
    -
    Sugarray77: Congratulations Liz!!! Well deserved!
    Melissa -
    Jannypan (Jan) : Well done, Liz. -
    Seshadri_Sreenivasan: Congratulations on your well-deserved success! Cheers! -
    sandramitchell: Just seen this. Congratulations, Liz! :)) -
    judiverse: Congratulations, Liz! Review of the Month! judi -
    kmoss: Congrats! Well deserved. I look forward to your reviews the most! -
    muffinmama: Wow! You see, you do win! Congratulations. -
    Marilyn Mathis: That is wonderful! Congratulations. You are a champion reviewer and it's great that you're recognized as such!

    -
    Iza Deleanu: Congrats Liz:) you deserve it:X -
    lyenochka: Congratulations!!

    -
    Spitfire: -


FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations! March 2021 Recognized Writer!
    Seshadri_Sreenivasan: Hearty congrats! Well deserved. I never forget to keep the oxford dictionary next to me when I read your jolly good writings. Keep them coming! -
    phill doran: Sssstunning Liz - congratulations -
    Wils: Congratulations. Well deserved -
    judiverse: Congratulations on being named recognized writer of the month. judiverse -
    Dorothy Farrell: Congratulations Liz - well deserved! x -
    equestrik: Congrats to you-so well deserved
    -
    Melissa Russell Deur: Congratulations, Liz! You deserve this special honor! -
    Father Flaps: Congratulations, Liz! I love your bubbly personality and humorous posts! A well-deserved honor for you! -
    sandramitchell: Congratulations, Liz!! Well deserved. xxx -
    Ric Myworld: Congratulations! Well deserved. -
    Robert Zimmerman: Congratulations Liz. You done good. (*z*) -
    AnnaLinda: Congratulations! -
    Jay Squires: Liz, no one I can think of is more worthy of this honor. Congratulations, muse-maker. -
    Anne Johnston: Congratulations on being chosen as the Recognized Writer for March. -
    damommy: Congratulations! -
    LisaMay: Congratulations to you! Your fizzing skill is apparent. -
    lyenochka: Congratulations, Liz!!

    -
    Ulla: Congratulations!!!! Isn't that a wonderful feeling? So well deserved. Ulla xx -
    karenina: Well I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THIS!-- I am an avid reader and fan of your writing, Liz... No one deserves this more than you! Congratulations! --Karenina -
    LJbutterfly: Congratulations Elizabeth. This award is well deserved. -
    Earl Corp: Congratulations! Well deserved! -
    Mrs. KT: Heartfelt congratulations, Liz!
    diane -
    Irish Rain: Congratulations!!! -
    Dana Starr: Congratulations on your well-deserved recognition. -
    lancellot: Congrats! -
    kmoss: Congrats!!!🎊 -
    Jannypan (Jan) : CONGRATULATIONS, LIZ! -
    Raffaelina Lowcock: Wow, Elizabeth all your great work paid off. Congratulations on this momentous occasion! You sure deserve this.

    Ralf -
    Judy Lawless: Congratulations! Well deserved! -
    Blu Rider: Congratulations Elizabeth! -
    LeftHandedScribe: Yay, Elizabeth! I always love your work and so appreciate your insightful feedback as a reviewer. Well done!
    -
    rspoet: Congratulations!! Well done. -
    Goodadvicechan: Congratulations ... -
    Sally Law: Congratulations, dear Liz! Stellar accomplishment! Sal XOs.... -
    zanya: Congratulations ..zanya -
    muffinmama: Congratulations! Well deserved. -
    RGstar: Well Done Elizabeth -
    tfawcus: Congratulations, Liz. -
    Michele Harber: That's wonderful, Elizabeth. Congratulations! -
    AJ McCall: CongratsSSSSSSSSS! -
    muffinmama: There you go! It was worth all the agony for such a delightful serving of ecstasy!
    Congrats! -
    cleo85: Congratulations!!! :o) -
    royowen: Well done -


FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations! Honorable Mention Finish in the Reviewing Contest!
    Irish Rain: Congratulations!! -
    Begin Again: Smiles and wishing you a blessed day! Congratulations! -
    robyn corum: Congratulations!! -
    Judy Lawless: Belated Congratulations! Just saw this now. -
    karenina: How'd I miss leaving a congratulations?! Well! Better late than never !

    Karenina

    -


FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations! Third place finish in the Reviewing Contest!
    lyenochka: Congratulations, Liz!!

    -
    Carlos' girl: Congratulations -
    robyn corum: Congrats! -
    greyson ernst: congrats well deserved -
    DonandVicki: I ordered the book "The end of Alzhimers" the book you suggested. I'm looking forward to the read. Congratulations on the Third place win. You are a true author and reviewer. Don. -


FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations! Third place finish in the Reviewing Contest!
    judiverse: Congratulations on your third place finish in the reviewing contest. (I remember your wriiting about someone inadvertently muting you. Well, as I was writing this, the screen suddenly came up with the question do you want to mute this member. It can happen. judi -
    rama devi: Congratulations!
    -
    lyenochka: Congratulations!! -
    Judy Lawless: Congratulations! -
    muffinmama: Congratulations! Well deserved. -
    GregoryCody: WELL DESERVED!!

    :) -


Elizabeth Emerald:

CHOKE of the day: (I made this up, as you probably surmised)

Fang Fang did Swalwell


FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations! Third Place Finish in the Reviewing Contest!
    lyenochka: Congratulations, Liz!! Super job!!

    -
    rama devi: Congrats! -
    sammielwf: Congratulations are headed your way Liz!
    Sammielwf -
    judiverse: Congratulations on placing third in the Reviewing Contest. Very impressive. judi -
    minkay6: Congratulations Liz! -
    kmoss: Congrats! :) -
    Jay Squires: Congratulations, Elizabeth. You rock! -
    Dick Waters: Congratulations on your well-deserved reviewing award.
    I thank you for taking the time to review my postings.
    Bless you!
    Dick -


FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations! Second Place Finish In The Reviewing Contest!
    lyenochka: -
    rama devi: Congrats~! -
    judiverse: Congratulations! Second place finish in the reviewing contest, great achievement. judiverse -
    AJ McCall: Congrats!!!! -
    Mrs. KT: Congratulations, Liz!
    diane -
    mrsmajor: Congratulations! -
    sammielwf: Well done Liz😁
    Congratulations!
    Sammielwf -
    Carlos' girl: great reviewer, great lady -
    Stephen Saunders: Congratulations! -


FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations on your second place finish in the Reviewing Contest!
    phill doran: well done Liz! -
    Cindy Decker: Congratulations! -
    Cindy Decker: -
    Gypsymooncat: Congratulations Liz, very well deserved! -
    Carmen Ducharme : Thank you for your harsh comments I'm sorry that you felt my poem was inadequate -
    rama devi: Congrats! -
    sammielwf: Congratulations Liz.
    Sammielwf -


Elizabeth Emerald: I write to commend KAHPOT for graciously accepting my 4-star rating, amending the piece per my suggestions, and nominating me to boot!


FanStory wrote to Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations! Honorable Mention Finish in the Reviewing Contest!
    damommy: Congratulations! -
    Spitfire: Terrific! -
    rama devi: Congratulations!! -
    lyenochka: Congratulations!! -
    Beverly A McBride: Congrats and good wishes on your achievement! -


Elizabeth Emerald: Congratulations to Dolly's Poems for her upgrade to #1 reviewer. Upon her achieving such lofty status, the Grim Reaper icon was bequeathed her. I propose that this fearsome figure--who wields a scythe suitable for star-smashing--be swapped out for a friendly one. Perhaps a fairy princess who sprinkles magic stardust with a cheerful smile--apropos of Dolly, who always strews such wonderful words of encouragement along with a generous distribution of sparklers.
    Dolly'sPoems: Thank you Elizabeth for your sweet words here, I hope to continue to sprinkle my magical fairy dust, love Dolly x -
    OliveO: What a joy for my very first submission to be reviewed by Dolly's Poems. Liz, I actually entered the contest which was about to expire today...for one of my life memoirs...thanks to your kind referral to this amazing site. Since my hubby's nickname is Popeye, thus I am OliveO on this site. (in case you don't get my actual name--JD's sister) -
    Jan Perry: Yeah! Yay! -


Elizabeth Emerald: Given that reviewer nominations generally vanish down the rabbit hole, I wish to commend Sarkems for an astute critique. There was a logical flaw in my story, which I'd been hesitant to post because something had seemed "off," yet I couldn't pin it down. SARKEMS did. I amended the piece forthwith.
    Sarkems: Aww thank you, that's very sweet -


Elizabeth Emerald: I wish to publicly laud Dina Bruun for a six-star review. Meaning six-stars to her for her four-stars to me. Dina wrote a painstaking critique of my script; she warmly expressed the many things she liked, and made several detailed suggestions for improvement. Her advice was spot on; I wasted no time implementing her apt recommendations, being eager to offer my best to the rest. As regards her extensive effort in my behalf Dina went above and beyond; as regards her giving a balanced review Dina did exactly as we are supposed to do. Kudos to her. As Freudians (probably don't really) say--sometimes a cigar is just a cigar; I say--sometimes "good" means good.

...On the flip side...sometimes "good" means: THIS SUCKS! I recently got a four-star review for a parody piece that taken on face value was not worthy of even a one. The reader gave up in disgust three lines into my monstrosity in which (per the footnote) I spew utter nonsense in a jumble of atrocious grammar and usage.
    rama devi: Thanks for highlighting a great review with your gratitude. So many people misinterpret constructive critique as being 'negative' (destructive). It's a wonderful gesture to spotlight Dina for her extensive constructive critique. I gave her a thumb too! -


Elizabeth Emerald: I am frustrated at being MUTEd after having given a three-star review, shortly after which I set out in search of other pieces by the author that would merit high-fives and found myself locked out. A shame, surely I would have found worthy works amidst her portfolio--she'd have more than made up her stars.
    Eve Vasa: Don't worry, it is very hard to do anything here. It is a friendly fiver club run by mostly old men and women who give endless fivers with flattery, you have no idea how many times I've been muted for a four, but I have a care factor of zero, we're here to be read, not to get ratings. Keep giving the three's and fours. I respect you for it. It is meant to be a writing site, but alas, it is really a friendly fiver club. -
    rama devi: Warm welcome to Fanstory. You'll find a full spectrum here. Some are here to share socially, while some are here to improve in the craft. As a recognized reviewer, I'm a veteran of being muted for offering in depth critique and honest ratings. But you'll find that many will be grateful for the substantive reviews and the muters are a minority. Please continue to review with such integrity and intelligence! :) I'm less active here than in previous years. We need a new recognized reviewer! -


Elizabeth Emerald: To be sung to Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

Where have all the sixes gone?
Long time since I got one
Where have all the sixes gone?
Lord hear my plea

Where have all the sixes gone?
Gone to others, every one
When will they ever learn!
Save some for me!

Where have all the sixes gone?
Good news: they changed the rule!
They're sure to come my way
Since there's no cap

Where have all the sixes gone?
Alas, I still have none
When will I ever learn
My work's mere pap

    Jesse James Doty: Awww, how sad. Hang in there, you'll receive what you're due, soon enough, I'm sure.
    Jesse
    -
    Gypsymooncat: I gave you one before I even read your sad parody lol -
    LaRosa: You can be so funny, Elizabeth. You've created an enjoyable new set of lyrics for the song. I could hear the melody all the way through.
    Sixes rule has been changed? No cap? I guess I've been gone too long, didn't know. Or is it a joke? Because I still didn't have many sixes to give out. By the time I read your little stories, I was out again. Sorry, not because you haven't deserved 'em! -
    jenintorre: Love it -
    Aussie: Save them up sunshine! -


Elizabeth Emerald: Sung to My Sharona, The Knack 1979

When ya gonna get to me, my Corona?
Is it just a matter of time Corona?

You're never gonna stop, such a dirty brand
Gotta stay away from the touch of an un-washed hand

M-M-M-My Corona!

Oooh, I'm afraid: Next it's me
Wish it were a game in my mind Corona
Can it be: Destiny?
You're falling down upon us from the sky, Corona

M-M-M-My Corona!

Oooh, it's going up, going up
How my fever burns
We're all throwing up, throwing up
Taking toilet turns

M-M-M-My Corona!

    LisaMay: That is a great song - you had me singing along to the tune and the new words. We both clearly show a complete lack of decorum and taste and will probably be shunned for our indelicacy and apparent lack of compassion to those who are suffering. I laugh in the face of adversity. It's nice to have met a kindred pisstaker. -
    Gypsymooncat: Ah it's so good to see some are trying to keep morale up and stop the panic.

    Elizabeth, thanks for the smile and the song!

    LisaMay...lack of decorum and taste? Indelicacy? HUMPH. I like lack of decorum, taste and indelicacy. It's FUN. Not like "proper behaviour".

    It'll be interesting to see if the "do-gooders" pop in and comment. It'll be VERY interesting... -
    Jesse James Doty: I like this, too. I sang along with it as I read it. Now, I can't get that tune out of my head. Oh well, it's a great earworm.
    Jesse
    -


Elizabeth Emerald: Rename proposal: Fan-Story Land to Five-Starry Land.

Alas, after a six-week struggle, I too have succumbed to High-Five Fever.

Check out the ranked writers list. Everyone gets an "A" plus-or-minus. When I was in grammar school, "A" stood for "average." Seems that's the case here as well.
    LisaMay: They say that cream rises, but so does scum. The top level does not always mean quality (says she, floating along in la la land at the top of short writes.) -


Elizabeth Emerald: Not that it's up for your vote
Still, a verse worthy of note
Been brewing two days
On the Corona craze
Alas, I must pay to promote

    LisaMay: Money still makes the world go round unfortunately. It might change though when we run out of it through being unemployed, sick, or dead. -


Elizabeth Emerald: Tell me, somebody: Have I gone ghost?
No one has looked at my post
My mood: downward spiral
It should surely go viral
This terse verse of which I can boast

    Elizabeth Emerald: -
    LisaMay: Keep your terse verses coming - a cry in the dark is still self expression. -


Elizabeth Emerald: This bitch of a critter Corona
Has turned each of us into a loner
It's OK to a point
Watch the tube, toke a joint
But who's there to do with my boner?
    LisaMay: -


Elizabeth Emerald: Rolling randily 'round on the rug
Just last week, now not even a hug
God forbid, stick it in her
Cries the erstwhile sinner:
Corona's a bitch of a bug
    LisaMay: This looks a little lonely here with no comment... i think you've scared everyone off. Luckily I enjoy a healthy sense of the ridiculous. -


Elizabeth Emerald: One of my very first reviews was 4-stars. I was pleased by the feedback; the reviewer said what he liked about the piece and I took GOOD at face value. Shortly thereafter I got another 4-star review where the reviewer made clear his GOOD was intended as a demerit.

And so began my introduction to our ratings system, where GOOD is the new BAD. I expounded upon this in my profile; I later released my thoughts under the title: Next: Exceptionally Exceptional? (subtitle: Must we be haunted by spectral stars?)


I'm bringing this up again now because I just got ALL-CAPS BLASTED by a poet for "only" 4-stars, which in our crazy world is perceived as "taking away" one due her.

Funny, have you noticed that even "revenge reviews" (and I've had a couple) are 3-stars--as if to go lower would be superfluous! Cheers. LIZ
    Aussie: The proof is in the pudding. The mere fact you have risen to number 15 poet in such a short time; don't worry about the four stars you are on your way girl! -
    Elizabeth Emerald: My thanks for your encouraging words. Alas, that 15 is not for poetry--I am in the 200-sector, half-a-hair north of the south pole. Cheers. LIZ -


Elizabeth Emerald: In Fanstory Land, Five is the New Three, and Good is the new Bad.

I'm less than a week old in this strange world and have already submitted three pieces for which I have received a total of 15 reviews.

One of my reviews was Good. I was pleased: The reviewer specified a section he found "interesting and informative."

Yesterday---having had to spend 75 real dollars to promote my own work---I began to review others' submissions, not only to earn $ but also out of genuine interest.

Curious to see other reviews of a piece, I began to peruse them.
I was astounded to see that virtually all were Excellent or Exceptional. One author, in response to a Good review, requested that the reviewer replace the star that she "took away," which the author assumed was on account of the typos the reviewer helpfully pointed out. Apparently, it didn't occur to the author that the reviewer simply did not deem the work Excellent. (P.S. The reviewer gave the star "back.")

This perception of having one star taken rather than four stars given is reinforced by the graphics that depict shattered phantom stars---as if a vengeful reviewer had smashed them. Must we be haunted by spectral stars? I propose that we sweep away the ghostly shards and let the three or four stars shine.

I'm all for keeping it positive. Indeed, in all the pieces I reviewed, I managed to muster enthusiasm in my words, regardless of the Average rankings I saw fit to assign some.

The default position is, by definition, Average. For that reason, I would never presume that a piece is Below Average. If I consider it Good or Excellent I will say so---I am pleased to have done just that for several so far.

Cheers. (Regarding which Three is Good!)


    JP Writer: You expressed this perfectly, and you are the first writer on this site I will follow! I have so far assigned only one six star, and when I give four or fewer, I try to find something honestly positive about the piece, along with whatever constructive criticism and suggestions. I read each piece at least twice and try to be thoughtful. I'm often surprised when I see pieces that receive five or six stars that have many flaws, either with grammar, syntax, spelling or overly flowery language, bloated poems or stories that fall very flat. I'm a professional writer and editor and believe that one cannot grow without being able to take in criticism with an open spirit. -
ABOUT
Location Library, mostly
Born Too young/old to recall
Gender Female
Member Premier Shield
Joined January 2020

Interests
Not enough space to list all m
Kindly indulge my sundry (a)musings re living and loving. Please pass my words--wise and otherwise--to anyone who might relate and enjoy. Cheers. I GENERALLY WRITE IN THE FIRST PERSON, EVEN FICTION.

Be bold! Go forth; behold the Myriad Meanderings Amidst My Twisted Mind. You will find:

SPOUTINGS: Mouthing off, on issues important and otherwise

HAPPILY-NEVER-AFTERS: Fairy Tales Beheaded

DOUBLE-PLAYS: Two--or more--sides to each story

DISPOSSESSION: Rummaging amidst the Hard-to-Discard files

FUTURE SHOCKS: Time, alas, marches on

GOING...GOING...GONE: Post-mortem reflections on a former friendship

OFF AND RUNNING: For fellow road warriors, re racing, pacing, placing

ROUND ROBIN: Parody Play Starring Six "Parrots" in Parallel

POLITICAL FOLLIES: Four-Way Farce featuring this infamous ensemble of consummate actors. God Help America.
RANK


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Review Stars

MILESTONE
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more posts until the next milestone.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS

2021 Short Story Writer of the Year

And the List Goes On reached "All Time Best" status.

Aging Gracelessly reached "Recognized" status.

Unresolved reached "All Time Best" status.

Still Awaiting The One reached "Recognized" status.

Death by Cliche reached "All Time Best" status.

Death by Cliche reached "Recognized" status.

CUT? or STET! as the case may be reached "All Time Best" status.

Ghost Writer reached "All Time Best" status.
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5-7-5 An Introspection In Seventeen Syllables Moments I Have Lived
I have found it rather amazing that an existence of time can be expressed in such few words and yet provide a specific and definitive explanation.

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The Aspen Grove Murders #12
Changing and Rearranging; Love at Last
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