Dialogue With Dad
450 words: Scrambling for understanding.22 total reviews
Comment from Miles Connolly
Gramar edits if ya want em;)
Hey, Dad, I've arranged for us to go away for the weekend! I want to treat you to one of the beauties of New Zealand.
No, I couldn't't! Your mother wouldn't't approve at all! Oh, to hell with it, let's not tell her! I'll need the whole weekend to work up to it, though ... though, though, soft as dough...
Don't be naughty, Dad. I'm taking you to see New Zealand's highest mountain.
My curiosity is piqued! We're going to peek at a peak! But what about crossing the ocean? Have you bought a boat?
Pardon?
You know, to cross the sea to get to New Zealand.
But Dad, we ARE in New Zealand, and it's only a few hours' drive away to get to Mount Cook.
.... Since when? I like living here in Australia.
Since last year, Dad. Now you live here with me and Sam. In New Zealand.
But I'm an Australian. I should be in Australia.
I'm an Aussie too, remember? But you came to live here after Mum died so you and I can be together. Let's just pretend this house is an offshore state of Australia. We'll get an Aussie flag, OK? New Zealand has some lovely places and I want to show you one this weekend.
Why? If we go there, we'll only have to come back again to Australia. Will you take me away in your boat? I like boats. Your mother and I eloped in a boat. Ha ha... wear my coat to float my boat... we ran away to see, what our life might be, we were full of glee, and now I have to pee... No I don't, I was being silleeee.
Well, another reason for going away is that I need a change of scene!
... scene, scene, don't be mean... Are you leaving me here by myself, Alice? Why can't I come? ... bum, bum, titty, bum... Who's Sam? ... sam likes jam better than spam...
Relax, Dad. I'm Hannah, your daughter, not Mum. We'll be together and we'll have a lovely time. I've packed what we need. Sam's been my husband for the past twenty-five years - he's staying home to feed the cat. Except we don't have a cat any more. Let's hop in the car now.
Did I remember to tell you I was sorry about the cat? ... Drat, oh drat... cat went splat, now it's flat... hop, hop, can't stop, let's bop, kangaroo stew with bandicoot brew... now I need to poo in the loo...
OK. I can take a hint, Dad. Toilet break before we leave. Do you remember which door it is? Do you need some help again?
No, thanks. I'll ask Alice to help me.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
  |
Gramar edits if ya want em;)
Hey, Dad, I've arranged for us to go away for the weekend! I want to treat you to one of the beauties of New Zealand.
No, I couldn't't! Your mother wouldn't't approve at all! Oh, to hell with it, let's not tell her! I'll need the whole weekend to work up to it, though ... though, though, soft as dough...
Don't be naughty, Dad. I'm taking you to see New Zealand's highest mountain.
My curiosity is piqued! We're going to peek at a peak! But what about crossing the ocean? Have you bought a boat?
Pardon?
You know, to cross the sea to get to New Zealand.
But Dad, we ARE in New Zealand, and it's only a few hours' drive away to get to Mount Cook.
.... Since when? I like living here in Australia.
Since last year, Dad. Now you live here with me and Sam. In New Zealand.
But I'm an Australian. I should be in Australia.
I'm an Aussie too, remember? But you came to live here after Mum died so you and I can be together. Let's just pretend this house is an offshore state of Australia. We'll get an Aussie flag, OK? New Zealand has some lovely places and I want to show you one this weekend.
Why? If we go there, we'll only have to come back again to Australia. Will you take me away in your boat? I like boats. Your mother and I eloped in a boat. Ha ha... wear my coat to float my boat... we ran away to see, what our life might be, we were full of glee, and now I have to pee... No I don't, I was being silleeee.
Well, another reason for going away is that I need a change of scene!
... scene, scene, don't be mean... Are you leaving me here by myself, Alice? Why can't I come? ... bum, bum, titty, bum... Who's Sam? ... sam likes jam better than spam...
Relax, Dad. I'm Hannah, your daughter, not Mum. We'll be together and we'll have a lovely time. I've packed what we need. Sam's been my husband for the past twenty-five years - he's staying home to feed the cat. Except we don't have a cat any more. Let's hop in the car now.
Did I remember to tell you I was sorry about the cat? ... Drat, oh drat... cat went splat, now it's flat... hop, hop, can't stop, let's bop, kangaroo stew with bandicoot brew... now I need to poo in the loo...
OK. I can take a hint, Dad. Toilet break before we leave. Do you remember which door it is? Do you need some help again?
No, thanks. I'll ask Alice to help me.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
-
Thanks for your time spent reviewing, Mia. You've left me somewhat confused, though, as you appear to have cut and pasted my story without telling me exactly what you are suggesting needs to be changed...for me it is an exercise in 'spot the difference' and the only difference I can see is that you are suggesting this change: No, I couldn't't! Your mother wouldn't't approve at all! What's with the extra 't' at the end of couldn't and wouldn't ?
Comment from patcelaw
I did not take this as a cheap shot at dementia. When we have a loved on with this disorder we have to be patient with them.
Patricia
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
|
I did not take this as a cheap shot at dementia. When we have a loved on with this disorder we have to be patient with them.
Patricia
Comment Written 05-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
-
Thanks for reviewing, Pat.
Patience can be sorely tested at times... so it is important to hold on to humour.
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, Dialogue with Dad, presented all in dialogue, is a terrific example of a man and his daughter in this scenario of dementia. The dad's playful temperament makes his condition a bit more bearable, at least on the written page.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
|
This story, Dialogue with Dad, presented all in dialogue, is a terrific example of a man and his daughter in this scenario of dementia. The dad's playful temperament makes his condition a bit more bearable, at least on the written page.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
-
Patience was the order of the day, but there were some very amusing situations.
Comment from poetwatch
To do or not to do as long as you make it to the loo. Nothing wrong with you story, LisaMay. At least you can communicate with your dad. Many cannot remember who their family is. This is a good entry for the Dialogue Only Writing Contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
|
To do or not to do as long as you make it to the loo. Nothing wrong with you story, LisaMay. At least you can communicate with your dad. Many cannot remember who their family is. This is a good entry for the Dialogue Only Writing Contest.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
-
My Dad died 20 years ago, and for the last couple of years of his life he didn't have a clue who I was... just some stranger who kept turning up, even though I lived with him. That was the worst part, him not knowing me... even worse than the toilet mishaps.
Comment from flylikeaneagle
funny story and glad you had fun with your Dad. Treasure
the times together. Good rhymes about the cat that went
flat and splat. Enjoy your Dad. flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2019
|
funny story and glad you had fun with your Dad. Treasure
the times together. Good rhymes about the cat that went
flat and splat. Enjoy your Dad. flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 04-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2019
-
I did enjoy my Dad, until he died 20 years ago.
Thanks for your feedback.
Comment from Teri7
Lisa, This is a very well written contest entry for the dialogue only writing contest. As I read it I felt sad. I have had family that had Alzheimer and I have MS which is not far away from that disease. Thank you for sharing this with us. Best wishes in the contest. love and blessings, teri
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2019
|
Lisa, This is a very well written contest entry for the dialogue only writing contest. As I read it I felt sad. I have had family that had Alzheimer and I have MS which is not far away from that disease. Thank you for sharing this with us. Best wishes in the contest. love and blessings, teri
Comment Written 04-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2019
-
With your family experience you will understand exactly. I wish you comfort in coping with your MS, Teri. Thanks for your supportive review.
-
You are so welcome my friend. Thanks for the nice comments. love and blessings, Teri
Comment from Colin John
Hi Liza, a beautiful caring, loving story about your father and sure he would be very proud of you through your writing of this and other works. thanks for sharing kind regards Colin X
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
|
Hi Liza, a beautiful caring, loving story about your father and sure he would be very proud of you through your writing of this and other works. thanks for sharing kind regards Colin X
Comment Written 04-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
-
Thanks for your praise, Colin. Dad showed he was proud of me with whatever i did, so it is nice that you mention him like this.
Comment from Carla Trinklein
Oh LisaMay, I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. Like mental illness, dementia and Alzheimer's robs a person of everything, and caregivers are left so very alone, even in memories. Your story captures this. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2019
|
Oh LisaMay, I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. Like mental illness, dementia and Alzheimer's robs a person of everything, and caregivers are left so very alone, even in memories. Your story captures this. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2019
-
It was tough going, but I'd do it again if needed.
Thanks for your kind review, Carla.
Comment from BeasPeas
Aww! I understand about this, having had a similar experience with my mom. To lose one's memory is a tough thing for both the patient and the family. Well done and good luck in the contest. Marilyn
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
|
Aww! I understand about this, having had a similar experience with my mom. To lose one's memory is a tough thing for both the patient and the family. Well done and good luck in the contest. Marilyn
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
-
Thanks for your review, Marilyn. It certainly is a terrible thing to lose all those treasured memories.
-
I agree. :(
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Such a tragic disease. You handled it very well, adding a touch of humor. So you live in the most beautiful place in the world. I always wanted to visit NZ, but my traveling days ended when I got lung disease... can't walk more than ten feet without needing to sit down. I hope you and Sam will travel while you can. There is so much to see! So nice of you to take your dad to the mountains. :)
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
|
Such a tragic disease. You handled it very well, adding a touch of humor. So you live in the most beautiful place in the world. I always wanted to visit NZ, but my traveling days ended when I got lung disease... can't walk more than ten feet without needing to sit down. I hope you and Sam will travel while you can. There is so much to see! So nice of you to take your dad to the mountains. :)
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
-
Thanks for reviewing this, Phyllis. That is sad to hear of your health limitations. I love NZ but I don't have a 'Sam' to share it with. I will be writing the story of taking Dad to Mt Cook soon: tragi/comedy to come.
