The West
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "McPherson"One man's journey west.
24 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Hi Thomas. I went back and read all the chapters I had missed, starting with Sarah and her father and red headed
intended to This one. What a great way to tell the story of the west. I am enjoying it immensely. Well done. NAncy
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Hi Thomas. I went back and read all the chapters I had missed, starting with Sarah and her father and red headed
intended to This one. What a great way to tell the story of the west. I am enjoying it immensely. Well done. NAncy
Comment Written 05-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Thanks immensely for your kind words and the generous six.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Thomas,
This chapter is my favorite thus far. It held my attention from the very beginning. Yes, it was violent, but also incredibly well-crafted.
One nit which you are more than welcome to consider or ignore:
His wife had grown tired of being married to a man she never saw. She HAD met a farmer, HAD TAKEN took the children, and HAD GONE went to live with him = Since you began this paragraph with the past participle of the verb grow, to keep the sentence parallel, the verbs that follow "had grown" should also be past participles.
Best Wishes,
diane
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2018
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Hello Thomas,
This chapter is my favorite thus far. It held my attention from the very beginning. Yes, it was violent, but also incredibly well-crafted.
One nit which you are more than welcome to consider or ignore:
His wife had grown tired of being married to a man she never saw. She HAD met a farmer, HAD TAKEN took the children, and HAD GONE went to live with him = Since you began this paragraph with the past participle of the verb grow, to keep the sentence parallel, the verbs that follow "had grown" should also be past participles.
Best Wishes,
diane
Comment Written 30-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2018
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Thanks for reviewing and correcting. I'm glad you're still teaching.
Comment from MelB
This story is very interesting, but does have its fair share of violent acts. You might want to tell people to read your notes first.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2018
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This story is very interesting, but does have its fair share of violent acts. You might want to tell people to read your notes first.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2018
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I posted the notes plus sex and violence warnings.
Comment from Ricky1024
This was well written with great theme and imagery.
It flowed well and read well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content was aligned well with Objective Content and Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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This was well written with great theme and imagery.
It flowed well and read well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content was aligned well with Objective Content and Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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Thanks, Doc.
Comment from aryr
A well done chapter. It was greatly detailed as you described the events of what could be considered good times and extremely bad times. I wish I could say that the end of this chapter was a surprise but it was not. Too many wives were left at home with the responsibilities of the children and living while husbands were away soldiering. And so many men received what were to become known as 'Dear John' letters. It was a sad shame that so many died. Well done, thanks.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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A well done chapter. It was greatly detailed as you described the events of what could be considered good times and extremely bad times. I wish I could say that the end of this chapter was a surprise but it was not. Too many wives were left at home with the responsibilities of the children and living while husbands were away soldiering. And so many men received what were to become known as 'Dear John' letters. It was a sad shame that so many died. Well done, thanks.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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You're right. War was harder on the wives than the husbands.
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For sure, at least this story helps make the awareness, although it still goes on.
Comment from apky
A very descriptive and fast-paced chapter, Thomas. Of course it's always sorrowful to witness what evil human beings are capable of meting out to their own species, but we seem wired that way. Maybe Darwin is right - the strongest survive, even if that means the strength of military might. This is one of the best chapters of your story, moving and laced with subtle messages of who we are and what we can be capable of under various circumstances. So sad the captain took his own life in the end. Another side of our humanness - we can only take so much evil and no more.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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A very descriptive and fast-paced chapter, Thomas. Of course it's always sorrowful to witness what evil human beings are capable of meting out to their own species, but we seem wired that way. Maybe Darwin is right - the strongest survive, even if that means the strength of military might. This is one of the best chapters of your story, moving and laced with subtle messages of who we are and what we can be capable of under various circumstances. So sad the captain took his own life in the end. Another side of our humanness - we can only take so much evil and no more.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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No one's hands were clean.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Sometimes life isn't pretty, and sometimes it's down-right revolting. Just as some learn to cope, and others choose to self medicate or blow their damn brains out. But as long as there is hope of tomorrow, a sliver of happiness can be found. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2018
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Sometimes life isn't pretty, and sometimes it's down-right revolting. Just as some learn to cope, and others choose to self medicate or blow their damn brains out. But as long as there is hope of tomorrow, a sliver of happiness can be found. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2018
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There were no clean hands. Thanks a lot for the stars.
Comment from rtobaygo
Good morning, Thomas
Enjoyed the post. The action was fast-paced and grabbed, and held my interest throughout the story. The atrocities commuted by both sides against one another was, is, a sad commentary regarding how each viewed the other. Going from narrator to first person and back gave the post a sense of 'one's personal history.
take care and stay safe,
Ray
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2018
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Good morning, Thomas
Enjoyed the post. The action was fast-paced and grabbed, and held my interest throughout the story. The atrocities commuted by both sides against one another was, is, a sad commentary regarding how each viewed the other. Going from narrator to first person and back gave the post a sense of 'one's personal history.
take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 28-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2018
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There were no clean hands. Thanks for the six.
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good morning, Thomas: You did put the warning at the top of the page but I decided to read it anyway and I wasn't disappointed. It is a very well-written chapter. It is sad that Springs ended up taking his own life but it seemed kind of obvious he would. It still somehow shocked me that this really brave, fierce and strong man could be so broken. You have described a war that most of us would die just to think of it. The whole group of soldiers were all covered in Indian blood from head to toe, drenched in it. (Yuck!) What a horrible battle! The is excellence at it's best.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2018
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Good morning, Thomas: You did put the warning at the top of the page but I decided to read it anyway and I wasn't disappointed. It is a very well-written chapter. It is sad that Springs ended up taking his own life but it seemed kind of obvious he would. It still somehow shocked me that this really brave, fierce and strong man could be so broken. You have described a war that most of us would die just to think of it. The whole group of soldiers were all covered in Indian blood from head to toe, drenched in it. (Yuck!) What a horrible battle! The is excellence at it's best.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2018
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Everyone's hands were blood. Thanks for powering through this.
Comment from lyenochka
Well, it would have been to put your warning note at the top. It is rather gory but unfortunately terribly realistic. And it's not far from what our military people face today. Even if they feel their battle is justified, the horror of taking lives still stay with them.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2018
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Well, it would have been to put your warning note at the top. It is rather gory but unfortunately terribly realistic. And it's not far from what our military people face today. Even if they feel their battle is justified, the horror of taking lives still stay with them.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2018
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There were no clean hands.
