Lady Lily
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Lady Lily and the Wizard 4"fantasy poem
26 total reviews
Comment from justafan
I have not the slightest idea what a Torchee is but I can speak to what I know. This piece took me on a little adventure and I enjoyed every line. I am learning so much in such an entertaining matter here in FanStory. Just wonderful WJ...
Always justafan,
Missy
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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I have not the slightest idea what a Torchee is but I can speak to what I know. This piece took me on a little adventure and I enjoyed every line. I am learning so much in such an entertaining matter here in FanStory. Just wonderful WJ...
Always justafan,
Missy
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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Hi justafan. What a delightful surprise to find a review on a piece a little further back in my portfolio, especially one in the middle of a series. I hope it made sense. I appreciate the review and am pleased to hear it took you on a little adventure. I appreciate the generous stars and gracious comments. Debi
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:)
Comment from c_lucas
In the long run, Evil will not triumphed over good. This is very well written with an interesting flow of words, making for a very good read. There is good imagery.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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In the long run, Evil will not triumphed over good. This is very well written with an interesting flow of words, making for a very good read. There is good imagery.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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Thank you for the shiny stars and encouraging comments. I am happy to hear you enjoyed reading this verse. Debi
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You're welcome, Debi. Charlie
Comment from amahra
This is a great story in a poem and a well written one. I loved the chocolate background color and the rhyming and rhythm was very good. Great job.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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This is a great story in a poem and a well written one. I loved the chocolate background color and the rhyming and rhythm was very good. Great job.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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Thank you so much for the great review. Now that you mention it, that color does remind me of chocolate. Yum. I appreciate the encouraging comments about the writing. Debi
Comment from PatVallesMangan
I'm coming in here at part four here, but I truly enjoyed the story poem. You have used so many wonderful poetic devices, and it's a smooth but powerful read. Mind blowing alliteration in "...wild winds whirled around the wizard." ... great personification in this poem ... my favorite was "clouds growling." The summary and Author's notes greatly helped me understand. A delightful read! Blessings! pat :)
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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I'm coming in here at part four here, but I truly enjoyed the story poem. You have used so many wonderful poetic devices, and it's a smooth but powerful read. Mind blowing alliteration in "...wild winds whirled around the wizard." ... great personification in this poem ... my favorite was "clouds growling." The summary and Author's notes greatly helped me understand. A delightful read! Blessings! pat :)
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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Thank you for the encouraging review, Pat. I appreciate the detailed comments about what you liked. It helps to know what worked. I am so happy you enjoyed reading it. Debi
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I feel the same way my friend! When I know that the reader "GOT IT," it is truly a beautiful feeling! God Bless! :) ~ Pat
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Debi - I stayed away from these because I am useless at meter. But couldn't pass this one up. I loved the detail, the way you bring it alive and keep me wanting to read your poetic story. This reads smoothly and powerfully for me.
I enjoyed it:)
Thanks for sharing,
Maureen
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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Dear Debi - I stayed away from these because I am useless at meter. But couldn't pass this one up. I loved the detail, the way you bring it alive and keep me wanting to read your poetic story. This reads smoothly and powerfully for me.
I enjoyed it:)
Thanks for sharing,
Maureen
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Maureen. I am happy you enjoyed reading the story. That is the point after all. The packaging isn't as important as the gift is it? And the form is only a way to package the story.
Thank you for the kind comments and encouraging words. They are worth more than any stars, especially to hear you enjoyed reading it.
Debi
Comment from donastell20
I enjoyed reading this from start to finish and found it smooth and easy to read.
You write verse very well, showing good charcters and detail in the story.
Thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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I enjoyed reading this from start to finish and found it smooth and easy to read.
You write verse very well, showing good charcters and detail in the story.
Thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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Thank you for the kind comments and encouragement. I appreciate it. Debi
Comment from Spitfire
Great word choice and use of alliteration to describe the setting--
Clouds of magic growled
Lightning set clouds aglow.
Sparks and flames grew fiercer
Wild winds whirled around the wizard
Joe can't fool the Krells, and once again, Luke shows his powers too.
Now I'm wondering if the dragon can free himself from the net assuming it ends up over him!
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Great word choice and use of alliteration to describe the setting--
Clouds of magic growled
Lightning set clouds aglow.
Sparks and flames grew fiercer
Wild winds whirled around the wizard
Joe can't fool the Krells, and once again, Luke shows his powers too.
Now I'm wondering if the dragon can free himself from the net assuming it ends up over him!
Comment Written 24-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Thank you so much for the kind comments about the setting. Yes, there is Luke again hanging around that wicked Joe. It is nice to hear you are wondering about the dragon. Thank you again for a great review. I appreciate it. Debi
Comment from Ridley Williams
Hello Debi,
Well, it's about time you posted another chapter! I have been wondering when we would find out the fate of the King and Queen.
...and this is another great chapter. Loved the alliterative phrase in the first stanza, "Wild winds whirled around the wizard"...sweet! But the whole piece reads wonderfully, telling the story with solid imagery and great imagination.
Meter and rhyming spot on, well done...deserving of a six!
See you in the next one.
My best wishes, Bill
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Hello Debi,
Well, it's about time you posted another chapter! I have been wondering when we would find out the fate of the King and Queen.
...and this is another great chapter. Loved the alliterative phrase in the first stanza, "Wild winds whirled around the wizard"...sweet! But the whole piece reads wonderfully, telling the story with solid imagery and great imagination.
Meter and rhyming spot on, well done...deserving of a six!
See you in the next one.
My best wishes, Bill
Comment Written 23-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Hi Bill,
How kind of you to remember this series. I haven't posted since November so I wasn't sure anyone would recall Lily or the King and Queen.
I appreciate the wonderful six stars. They brighten my day!
Thank you for the encouraging review. It means a lot to me.
Debi
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day mate. This is the first time I have come across you work I think. This is a fantastic piece that is beautifully written and presented. I'll have to read the others so I can catch up with you. Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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G'day mate. This is the first time I have come across you work I think. This is a fantastic piece that is beautifully written and presented. I'll have to read the others so I can catch up with you. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 23-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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G'day to you as well, Fez. Thank you so much for taking time to read and review this piece. I appreciate the kind comments and encouragement. I have been away for a while and just getting back so I do believe you are correct about this being our first meeting. I look forward to reading your work too. Debi
Comment from adewpearl
excellent use of trochaic meter in 8/7/8/7 with the catalexis
good use of enjambment
good abcbdb rhyming
excellent descriptive detail with strong sensory appeal
good alliteration in phrases like grinned with glee
exciting story line
good use of questions in chapter's closing
Brooke
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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excellent use of trochaic meter in 8/7/8/7 with the catalexis
good use of enjambment
good abcbdb rhyming
excellent descriptive detail with strong sensory appeal
good alliteration in phrases like grinned with glee
exciting story line
good use of questions in chapter's closing
Brooke
Comment Written 23-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
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It is always so good to hear from you, Brooke. I appreciate the excellent review and the detailed comments. It helps to know what works. Debi
