Letter to the President (Part 4)
My political rant while on vacation in the Philippines..30 total reviews
Comment from Mastery
Your right to say anything is one of our liberties we still have in tis country,eh, Susan? This is a well-written essay to say the least. I cannot say I agree with all of your opinions, however as I say, You certainly have a right to voice them. bless you, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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Your right to say anything is one of our liberties we still have in tis country,eh, Susan? This is a well-written essay to say the least. I cannot say I agree with all of your opinions, however as I say, You certainly have a right to voice them. bless you, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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Bob, my friend, thanks for your understanding and for appreciating again my work. God bless and take care. Susan
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Regardless of the subject matter or genre, writers on FS should expect reviews based on the quality of the writing. In non-fiction, and essential for essays, a reviewer should expect an opening statement that is direct and clear as to the writer's argument. The body of work beds to be organized in a way that leaves no doubt, paragraph by paragraph. point by point so there can be no misunderstanding that the author is substantiating his/her position on the matter.
Finally, the closing paragraph must circle back to the opening and act as a summary.
All other writing rules apply. Now even though the category is 'letters;, it still needs to follow the essay premise. In letters an informality is expected and personalizes the emotions or purpose of the letter.
If you truly want to improve your writing and hone your skill-set, I encourage you to take heed of the above advice. Here's where I think you went off track.
Your opening consists of a run-on sentence. Far more effective might have been/..
Dear Mr. President; I am so tired and angry. It is sad the leftist Democrats are maligning you and still dreaming about about a socialist, Obama president. They can't see the man who talks tough, but working hard to make America great again.
There was at least one tense change in the post--an ABSOLUTE NO-NO. The run-on sentences continue throughout. The most effective essays vary the length of sentences, making short, staccato style points that act as hard-hitting points.
Quite honestly, this merits a four, but without spending the time to go through the essay again to cut.paste examples, it hardly seems kind to influence your ratings. As I vehemently disagree with much of what you say, I don't want you to misconstrue a lower rating (based solely on the quality of the work) as some childish punishment for our different points of view, There is absolutely no question about your passionate feelings, and that;s a VERY good thing--no matter what the subject.
I encourage you to join the forum where these debates are raged on both sides.
As to the contents, yes, it is true the president has not taken his salary--approximately a half-million, but he is making millions on his presidency. You should read up on the Emollient clause. Despite his superficial separation from his business, he has not. On the bight bombs were hitting a Syrian airport and they were dining with the president of China. Ivanlka was presented with 15 trademarks, allowing her to sell her products in China.
You are confusing socialism with communism, as even the POTUS does, but I encourage you to do more research. A socialist program, like universal health care, is for the benefiot of all, but it does NOT replace capitalism which clearly thrives in places like England and Canada.
I admire you for standing up for your views, but I do think you are blinded by your passion for Trump. As an American (I am not) I think you owe it to yourself to take the time to understand and listen to the concerns of ALL Americans.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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Regardless of the subject matter or genre, writers on FS should expect reviews based on the quality of the writing. In non-fiction, and essential for essays, a reviewer should expect an opening statement that is direct and clear as to the writer's argument. The body of work beds to be organized in a way that leaves no doubt, paragraph by paragraph. point by point so there can be no misunderstanding that the author is substantiating his/her position on the matter.
Finally, the closing paragraph must circle back to the opening and act as a summary.
All other writing rules apply. Now even though the category is 'letters;, it still needs to follow the essay premise. In letters an informality is expected and personalizes the emotions or purpose of the letter.
If you truly want to improve your writing and hone your skill-set, I encourage you to take heed of the above advice. Here's where I think you went off track.
Your opening consists of a run-on sentence. Far more effective might have been/..
Dear Mr. President; I am so tired and angry. It is sad the leftist Democrats are maligning you and still dreaming about about a socialist, Obama president. They can't see the man who talks tough, but working hard to make America great again.
There was at least one tense change in the post--an ABSOLUTE NO-NO. The run-on sentences continue throughout. The most effective essays vary the length of sentences, making short, staccato style points that act as hard-hitting points.
Quite honestly, this merits a four, but without spending the time to go through the essay again to cut.paste examples, it hardly seems kind to influence your ratings. As I vehemently disagree with much of what you say, I don't want you to misconstrue a lower rating (based solely on the quality of the work) as some childish punishment for our different points of view, There is absolutely no question about your passionate feelings, and that;s a VERY good thing--no matter what the subject.
I encourage you to join the forum where these debates are raged on both sides.
As to the contents, yes, it is true the president has not taken his salary--approximately a half-million, but he is making millions on his presidency. You should read up on the Emollient clause. Despite his superficial separation from his business, he has not. On the bight bombs were hitting a Syrian airport and they were dining with the president of China. Ivanlka was presented with 15 trademarks, allowing her to sell her products in China.
You are confusing socialism with communism, as even the POTUS does, but I encourage you to do more research. A socialist program, like universal health care, is for the benefiot of all, but it does NOT replace capitalism which clearly thrives in places like England and Canada.
I admire you for standing up for your views, but I do think you are blinded by your passion for Trump. As an American (I am not) I think you owe it to yourself to take the time to understand and listen to the concerns of ALL Americans.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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I respect your views and I will fight for your right to say them with much passion as I did. I deserve also the same respect from many reviewers who don't share my views. Yes, as you predicted I was punished with 3 and 4 stars from those who hated my passion for the President. I am not an American by the way, I am a Filipina and a new legal immigrant of America who opted not to jump over the border illegally. I waited patiently in line for two years at the gates of the US Embassy in the Philippines before I was finally granted an immigrant visa. I chose to follow the law rather than break them. I know the difference between Communism and Socialism, I have been through that tunnel before, but I don't like what I saw. Consider Mr. Horrowitz, who is a Socialist by heart and raised by Communist parents but was awakened in the end, by the ills of the Leftist ideology. At present, he is a strong voice for Conservative principles. Thanks anyway for the generous five stars despite the grammar slips which were noted and rectified . A few of the long sentences were retained for some obvious reasons. Thanks again and God bless. I have no more nomination vote to give but you deserve one.
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Thanks for your response to my review, but please take note, from a WRITING standpoint, this did note merit more than a four-stars for reasons I've already explained. Anyone giving you six stars was only agreeing with your feelings and was totally negligent as to your writing abilities. You deserve honesty and respect AS A WRITER--NOT YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS. You really need to understand this as the best reviews are always--sometimes brutally-- honest.
Comment from Sally Law
Bravo! You have so much courage! I am a Christian writer and new here at FanStory. I have read a few disdainful articles already; filled with contempt, and hatred towards our President. It is quite alarming. The thing is, if you don't agree with them, you are the worst person that ever walked this earth. Most people cannot get past his Tweets and see the good things he has done to restore America. Thank you so much for this article, it is greatly appreciated.
Kindest regards to you and your family,
Sally
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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Bravo! You have so much courage! I am a Christian writer and new here at FanStory. I have read a few disdainful articles already; filled with contempt, and hatred towards our President. It is quite alarming. The thing is, if you don't agree with them, you are the worst person that ever walked this earth. Most people cannot get past his Tweets and see the good things he has done to restore America. Thank you so much for this article, it is greatly appreciated.
Kindest regards to you and your family,
Sally
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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Thanks a lot Sally for the encouragement. I am also a Christian by faith and I believe God has a hand in the election of President Trump. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for the exceptional six stars. I am not an American citizen by the way but a legal green card holder. I am a Filipina and English is not my native language. God bless. Susan
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You are welcome Susan. So nice to meet you! You are more American to me if you love our country, than some who are parked here and hold it in contempt. I thank God you are here!
God bless you!
Sally
Comment from Bill Schott
I think your passion for the idea of an outsider taking the helm is justified. Washington certainly has come to an impass that puts ineffective Democrats against do nothing Republicans. Having someone use his authority to sidestep this loggerhead was an important and necessary step. Unfortunately, President Trump is his own worst enemy as he has been proven to be a thief, liar, ignorant, and morally unfit to be the leader of America. I don't know if others are any better; scratched harder they may all prove unworthy. Trump, however, is unapologetically combative, returning insults like a teenaged girl.
He speaks in exaggerated generalities which is indicative of his Fox issued rhetoric pretending to be news.
His showing with North Korea, all hype and no change; his showing with Russia; total submission to and no rebuke of Putin, all fly in the face of national interests.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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I think your passion for the idea of an outsider taking the helm is justified. Washington certainly has come to an impass that puts ineffective Democrats against do nothing Republicans. Having someone use his authority to sidestep this loggerhead was an important and necessary step. Unfortunately, President Trump is his own worst enemy as he has been proven to be a thief, liar, ignorant, and morally unfit to be the leader of America. I don't know if others are any better; scratched harder they may all prove unworthy. Trump, however, is unapologetically combative, returning insults like a teenaged girl.
He speaks in exaggerated generalities which is indicative of his Fox issued rhetoric pretending to be news.
His showing with North Korea, all hype and no change; his showing with Russia; total submission to and no rebuke of Putin, all fly in the face of national interests.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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Again I respect your opinion as I expect the same from you. No matter what I value more a President who love God and who will protect the unborn rather than a Leftie who value the Luciferian globalist agenda. Thanks anyway for the generous five stars.
Comment from Ricky1024
The hube problem with Donald's presidency is he's very very extremely opinionated and aggressive and by being so, he's stepping on a lot of people's feet!
From women Advocates to Mexican people who are in this country illegally and legally.
Otherwise, he needs to concentrate on other issues such as the economy over spending, and national defense.
He also, needs to utilize the knowledge that he has accumulated running and creating businesses and use them to run this country!
Don't play ball with the Democrats and arm them with negative responses to subjects that aren't necessarily as important.
As the American people today!
And address the high cost of living in this country today !
Well written and thanks for listening to my opinion. Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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The hube problem with Donald's presidency is he's very very extremely opinionated and aggressive and by being so, he's stepping on a lot of people's feet!
From women Advocates to Mexican people who are in this country illegally and legally.
Otherwise, he needs to concentrate on other issues such as the economy over spending, and national defense.
He also, needs to utilize the knowledge that he has accumulated running and creating businesses and use them to run this country!
Don't play ball with the Democrats and arm them with negative responses to subjects that aren't necessarily as important.
As the American people today!
And address the high cost of living in this country today !
Well written and thanks for listening to my opinion. Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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The media , especially the Leftist media is twisting The President's words and giving them their own spin to make the President look bad. The snowflakes are acting like toddlers not the President. He will not be a billionaire for nothing . He kept his promises. Thanks for the generous five stars.
Comment from apky
You have certainly penned down your opinion very well. This is succinct.
The fact about Trump that impresses me most is that his election and the fact that he is still in the White House shows that democracy is still intact and works.
And you have stated his good socialism: "I would rather have a President who is not politically correct but is willing to serve America without compensation benefits and who is willing to donate his monthly salary to offices and organizations that need those funds."
The thing is, if Trump lived to be 100 years beginning right now, and spent $1 million per day, he would still be a billion in 2118.
Capitalism is great.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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You have certainly penned down your opinion very well. This is succinct.
The fact about Trump that impresses me most is that his election and the fact that he is still in the White House shows that democracy is still intact and works.
And you have stated his good socialism: "I would rather have a President who is not politically correct but is willing to serve America without compensation benefits and who is willing to donate his monthly salary to offices and organizations that need those funds."
The thing is, if Trump lived to be 100 years beginning right now, and spent $1 million per day, he would still be a billion in 2118.
Capitalism is great.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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Thanks a lot for appreciating my work again. Thanks too for the generous five stars. God bless.
Comment from tfawcus
It is interesting, as a foreign spectator, to read a strong defence of the President, putting a point of view not often seen in the media. Your writing is convincing and the argument is presented logically. There are one or two typos, but I see that a previous reviewer has already picked those up.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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It is interesting, as a foreign spectator, to read a strong defence of the President, putting a point of view not often seen in the media. Your writing is convincing and the argument is presented logically. There are one or two typos, but I see that a previous reviewer has already picked those up.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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Thanks a lot for appreciating my work. Thanks too for the generous five stars. Suggestions were noted.
Comment from WildWithWords
First of all I will just say that this review does not take into account any political bias whatsoever. The proof of that is that I have never in my life voted either Republican or Democrat. I'm a foreigner.
Second I would just like to add two words.... "Damn Lefties!"
Ignoring the politics.... a fairly well written piece that puts forward many and varied ideas and problems in a concise and well thought out manner. Despite the formal English and overall quality appearance of the text, however, there are several small errors requiring tiny edits.
1) "I cannot see the logic too, in the media's misguided ACTS(?) of pushing subjective..."
2) "....by telling her viewers that you, Mr. President ARE unhappy..."
3) "Undoubtedly not rich by Bill Gates standards, but I don't hate Bill and AM/I'M certainly not jealous of his wealth like most Leftist radicals ARE..."
Aside from these, very well written.
Bill (WildWithWords)
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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First of all I will just say that this review does not take into account any political bias whatsoever. The proof of that is that I have never in my life voted either Republican or Democrat. I'm a foreigner.
Second I would just like to add two words.... "Damn Lefties!"
Ignoring the politics.... a fairly well written piece that puts forward many and varied ideas and problems in a concise and well thought out manner. Despite the formal English and overall quality appearance of the text, however, there are several small errors requiring tiny edits.
1) "I cannot see the logic too, in the media's misguided ACTS(?) of pushing subjective..."
2) "....by telling her viewers that you, Mr. President ARE unhappy..."
3) "Undoubtedly not rich by Bill Gates standards, but I don't hate Bill and AM/I'M certainly not jealous of his wealth like most Leftist radicals ARE..."
Aside from these, very well written.
Bill (WildWithWords)
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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Thanks a lot Bill for the very generous five stars and thanks for pointing out the grammatical slips. They were noted and rectified. Some long sentences were rephrased or revised but a few have been retained for obvious reasons. I am a Filipina by the way and English is not my native language. Thanks again and God bless. I have no more nomination vote to give but you deserve one. Thanks again.
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Hi Nassus.
Thank you for the acknowledgement of my efforts. Reviewer votes are nice but it's more of a compliment to be listened to when we offer help. Thank you for paying attention - most don't. To most it's an insult to claim that their work could ever be improved. LOL.
I also want to compliment you on the high quality of your writing in a language that's not your own. Frankly I'm shocked to hear that. I myself am an Australian, so the language is my own.
Bill (WildWithWords)
Comment from Lady Jane
Mr. President(,)
this magnanimous gesture, that no American President (have) ever done - I think 'had' ever done might fit better. What do you think? ;-)
I cannot see the logic 'too' - I'd remove the word 'too' along with comma and just lead right into ending of sentence
Mr. President(,) (are) unhappy because you...
Jim Acosta leave a bad taste(,) too
Bachelor of Law- remove the 's'
Mr. President, your Education Secretary (has) a lot of ...
What a well thought out and conveyed 'rant' as you so smoky stated. It's consistent, concise, and expressed in a powerful voice. I took the liberty to address a few edit suggestions I hope you don't mind. Nothing too major. Thanks for sharing this with us. Let me know once nits are addressed and I will come back and upgrade your star count. This was a pleasure to read and review.
Janelle
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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Mr. President(,)
this magnanimous gesture, that no American President (have) ever done - I think 'had' ever done might fit better. What do you think? ;-)
I cannot see the logic 'too' - I'd remove the word 'too' along with comma and just lead right into ending of sentence
Mr. President(,) (are) unhappy because you...
Jim Acosta leave a bad taste(,) too
Bachelor of Law- remove the 's'
Mr. President, your Education Secretary (has) a lot of ...
What a well thought out and conveyed 'rant' as you so smoky stated. It's consistent, concise, and expressed in a powerful voice. I took the liberty to address a few edit suggestions I hope you don't mind. Nothing too major. Thanks for sharing this with us. Let me know once nits are addressed and I will come back and upgrade your star count. This was a pleasure to read and review.
Janelle
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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Thanks a lot Janelle, I have reviewed the grammatical slips you pointed out and they were corrected per your suggestion. Some long sentences were revised or rephrased but a few were retained for obvious reasons. Thanks a lot for your understanding. English is not really my native language, I am a Filipina by the way. I am humbled that you appreciated this post with excellent five stars. God bless. Susan
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Upgraded the stars and I?m glad to help :-)
Janelle
Comment from Gloria ....
Hey Susan, good to hear from you and how nice for you to be in Philippines. Another strong rant and I will go through point by point of misinformation. I will begin with the $400,000 salary that the president said he was going to donate. Do you know if he has actually donated those funds? If so, to which group? The reason the media hasn't focused on that is because Trump has actually made millions of dollars during his term so far. $100,000 for incidental promotional items such as presidential golf tees that he sells on his many American and international courses. So you might want to do more research into what is actually going on.
I think the president is going to have an awful hard time suing Mika for those ridiculous, and uncalled for comments, as he has made many such insults to her too, and as the President of the United States of America he is a much loftier position of power than she.
Regarding Jim Acosta, it's likely a good idea to mention a couple of examples of his Leftist spin and on which issues.
I didn't realize that it was the Leftist radicals envious of Bill Gates wealth? From my experience envy of wealth cuts across all political and religious parties. But I guess if it's hard for the wealthy to get through the gates of Heaven, the president will also have an awful hard time.
Just one grammatical error in that section.:
Undoubtedly, not rich, by Bill Gates standards, but I don't hate Bill and (am) certainly notjealous envious of his wealth like most Leftist radicals do. are.
The lawsuit against the Trump Foundation isn't new. He's used that charity to pay his legal bills for many years and investigations began shortly after Trump was elected, and right after Trump settled his $25 Million suit for his fraudulent Trump University. He didn't want to be deposed, and who can blame him. As far as the text messages go don't you mean fired FBI agent Peter Strzok rather than Ohr? Anyway I'm not sure if that's what you meant or not, so let me know.
Good to read another posting from you and I look forward to the next part.
Gloria
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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Hey Susan, good to hear from you and how nice for you to be in Philippines. Another strong rant and I will go through point by point of misinformation. I will begin with the $400,000 salary that the president said he was going to donate. Do you know if he has actually donated those funds? If so, to which group? The reason the media hasn't focused on that is because Trump has actually made millions of dollars during his term so far. $100,000 for incidental promotional items such as presidential golf tees that he sells on his many American and international courses. So you might want to do more research into what is actually going on.
I think the president is going to have an awful hard time suing Mika for those ridiculous, and uncalled for comments, as he has made many such insults to her too, and as the President of the United States of America he is a much loftier position of power than she.
Regarding Jim Acosta, it's likely a good idea to mention a couple of examples of his Leftist spin and on which issues.
I didn't realize that it was the Leftist radicals envious of Bill Gates wealth? From my experience envy of wealth cuts across all political and religious parties. But I guess if it's hard for the wealthy to get through the gates of Heaven, the president will also have an awful hard time.
Just one grammatical error in that section.:
Undoubtedly, not rich, by Bill Gates standards, but I don't hate Bill and (am) certainly not
The lawsuit against the Trump Foundation isn't new. He's used that charity to pay his legal bills for many years and investigations began shortly after Trump was elected, and right after Trump settled his $25 Million suit for his fraudulent Trump University. He didn't want to be deposed, and who can blame him. As far as the text messages go don't you mean fired FBI agent Peter Strzok rather than Ohr? Anyway I'm not sure if that's what you meant or not, so let me know.
Good to read another posting from you and I look forward to the next part.
Gloria
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
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Thanks Gloria for explaining your views. But I guess we are reading different facts and we are both using different lens. Never will the two shall mix. But I respect your opinion. Thanks too for the generous five stars.
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As of today a state judge in New York's Supreme Court ruled Friday that a lawsuit against President Donald Trump and the Trump Foundation can proceed, rejecting the claim from the Trump camp that the lawsuit is politically motivated.
The suit, which was filed in June by New York Attorney General Barbara Underwood, alleges that the Trump Foundation, as run by the president and children Ivanka Trump, Eric Trump and Donald Trump, Jr. has "transacted business illegally and abusively over a number of years, violating New York state law.
And that is just the fact and it quite alright to view facts through different lenses, yes? Thank you so much Susan always.
