The Funeral Of Jacob Jones
Jacob Jones has a word or two to say about his funeral.24 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent wrote. mystery writer. you did an excellent job writing this poem about the man who thought the truth while his funeral was going on. I enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
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this is an excellent wrote. mystery writer. you did an excellent job writing this poem about the man who thought the truth while his funeral was going on. I enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
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Thank you so much for the thoughtful review.very sweet,
Rhonda
Comment from mfowler
You get a sixer for the sheer inventiveness and the great humour you've generated in this wonderful response to the prompt. I love the juxtaposition of mourner's eulogies and the disgruntled ghost as he reveals much and complains often. Clearly an unhappy ghost, he has a genuine axe to grind, in the way the coffee was ground yesterday and fed to him with extraneous matter. Your verses flow well and are most entertaining.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
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You get a sixer for the sheer inventiveness and the great humour you've generated in this wonderful response to the prompt. I love the juxtaposition of mourner's eulogies and the disgruntled ghost as he reveals much and complains often. Clearly an unhappy ghost, he has a genuine axe to grind, in the way the coffee was ground yesterday and fed to him with extraneous matter. Your verses flow well and are most entertaining.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
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Thank you so much! I'm impressed you still have a 6 left, and I am so honored to receive one from you!!! All my sixes are usually distributed by the second day.
I like the thoroughness of your review. You not only show support, but are informative as well.
You are most kind!
Comment from CD Richards
This is very, very clever. On the whole, I think it flows well, there are just a couple of lines where to me it seems I get a bit tongue-tied trying to get it all in
(e.g. I've asked a few ...)
Very, very minor point, outweighed by the excellent humor. Best of luck with this entry.
Craig
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
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This is very, very clever. On the whole, I think it flows well, there are just a couple of lines where to me it seems I get a bit tongue-tied trying to get it all in
(e.g. I've asked a few ...)
Very, very minor point, outweighed by the excellent humor. Best of luck with this entry.
Craig
Comment Written 13-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Craig. I will look at that line and see what I can do. I appreciate the feedback.
Comment from Chrissy710
Well done. This made me laugh, I could just see poor the deceased fuming at his eulogy. A clever write and I enjoyed your Stanzas which rhymed and easily read, and funny. Have to give you a six I thought it excellent plus thanks for posting this. Sorry I forgot to say good luck in the contest Cheers Christine
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
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Well done. This made me laugh, I could just see poor the deceased fuming at his eulogy. A clever write and I enjoyed your Stanzas which rhymed and easily read, and funny. Have to give you a six I thought it excellent plus thanks for posting this. Sorry I forgot to say good luck in the contest Cheers Christine
Comment Written 13-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Chrissy. You are so sweet!!! The 6 has lifted my morning. I first wrote it as a story, and then changed it to a poem once I looked again at the prompt. It actually worked better for me that way as I am more a storyteller than poet, ordinarily. Thanks again.
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Your welcome still chuckling😀😀
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Thank you!
Comment from Loyd C. Taylor, Sr
Hello poet friend.
I wish I had a "6" to give you for the wonderful, humorous, so true to life poem. I love it. It reminds me of a song I used to sing, "Sunday Morning Christian."
What a clever story.. you did a swell job. Loved the hymn choice of the pastor, so fitting at a time like that. (lol)
Loyd, still smiling.
PS: Thanks for using my artwork and for your kind words as well.
I've read them over and over... they've caused my head to swell.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
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Hello poet friend.
I wish I had a "6" to give you for the wonderful, humorous, so true to life poem. I love it. It reminds me of a song I used to sing, "Sunday Morning Christian."
What a clever story.. you did a swell job. Loved the hymn choice of the pastor, so fitting at a time like that. (lol)
Loyd, still smiling.
PS: Thanks for using my artwork and for your kind words as well.
I've read them over and over... they've caused my head to swell.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
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Awww, well deserved! And thanks for the glowing review! I'm happy with your virtual 6. I always run out of them by Monday, or Tuesday at the latest. And I always love your artwork. I'm always getting comments on them.
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is an interesting, whimsical poem about the demise and funeral of Jacob Jones. I particularly like the line: "Turn, if you will, to page 109, and sing, 'Shall We Gather at the River'": a sudden touch of real church that fits well into the rhyme scheme. Good luck to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
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This is an interesting, whimsical poem about the demise and funeral of Jacob Jones. I particularly like the line: "Turn, if you will, to page 109, and sing, 'Shall We Gather at the River'": a sudden touch of real church that fits well into the rhyme scheme. Good luck to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 13-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
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Thank you so much, Jeanie, it was a fun poem, though, to be honest I wrote it first as a story because I had missed the part about it being a poem. Had to go back and change it. Thanks for the review.
Comment from kiwisteveh
There is some humour, but also quite a bit of sadness here - I am sure many funerals are actually like this. never speak ill of the dead is all very well, but hypocrisy and gilding the lily takes it a bit far.
i liked the idea of the alternating stanzas coming from the deceased's perspective - that really showed up the two-faced nature of most of the other speakers. One sincere speaker is maybe there to confirm that Jacob was indeed a man of God, although perhaps he weakens the point of the poem...
Meter is not always even and the rhymes are proximate in places, but this flows well enough to tell the story.
Steve
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
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There is some humour, but also quite a bit of sadness here - I am sure many funerals are actually like this. never speak ill of the dead is all very well, but hypocrisy and gilding the lily takes it a bit far.
i liked the idea of the alternating stanzas coming from the deceased's perspective - that really showed up the two-faced nature of most of the other speakers. One sincere speaker is maybe there to confirm that Jacob was indeed a man of God, although perhaps he weakens the point of the poem...
Meter is not always even and the rhymes are proximate in places, but this flows well enough to tell the story.
Steve
Comment Written 12-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
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Thanks for reading with such a discerning eye. You show both support and advise. Thanks, again.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Good job with -The Funeral Of Jacob Jones. It is a funny poem/story. I wish you good luck in the contest. Good rhyme and tone. The format was good too and I like the picture.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
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Good job with -The Funeral Of Jacob Jones. It is a funny poem/story. I wish you good luck in the contest. Good rhyme and tone. The format was good too and I like the picture.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
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Thank you so much. You did an excellent job of expressing you opinion on the poem. It was a fun, but different prompt.
Comment from Curly Girly
This was quite a difficult challenge to write for, especially in poetry format. I reckon you pulled it off well, and this could be a winner. Well done in creating this fun, mystery thriller. We can toast a cup of coffee to it.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
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This was quite a difficult challenge to write for, especially in poetry format. I reckon you pulled it off well, and this could be a winner. Well done in creating this fun, mystery thriller. We can toast a cup of coffee to it.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
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Thank you, dear. I would watch out for the coffee, though. I hear it's tainted. Thanks for reading.
Comment from chandenee
Well done! I liked the imagery of the spirit of the deceased hovering over and listening to everything that was said. I like his commentary on the commentary about him! The poem flowed and rhymed wonderfully well. Loved it!
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
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Well done! I liked the imagery of the spirit of the deceased hovering over and listening to everything that was said. I like his commentary on the commentary about him! The poem flowed and rhymed wonderfully well. Loved it!
Comment Written 12-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
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Thank you so much. I wanted to take a different angle on the subject, and tongue - in - cheek is often the direction my mind takes. Thanks so much!
