Lazy Slug Holiday (EVERYDAY!)
Amphion Poem-Potlatch Challenge21 total reviews
Comment from country ranch writer
I find them very sticky and useless in my opinion they are just that a slug. Nice work up for this short and sweet poem with their cute little party hats.
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I find them very sticky and useless in my opinion they are just that a slug. Nice work up for this short and sweet poem with their cute little party hats.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2019
Comment from Marc Grimaldi
Great job and a very rare ode to slugs! The tale line is great as well, carrying the double meaning. The rhyme scheme is good and the poem runs smooth. Keep up the good writing!
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Great job and a very rare ode to slugs! The tale line is great as well, carrying the double meaning. The rhyme scheme is good and the poem runs smooth. Keep up the good writing!
Comment Written 08-Jan-2019
Comment from Jason A. Kilgore
I wasn't familiar with this style, either. It certainly seems to fit you. I'm most impressed with your choice of topic. Who writes about the lowly snail? Not enough people, that's who! It earned you a sixth star. And the pic is a hoot. The idea of their "eyes on sticks" beguiling is a great word choice and made me chuckle. I wish I could find something to critique, but it's just great and I wouldn't change a thing.
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I wasn't familiar with this style, either. It certainly seems to fit you. I'm most impressed with your choice of topic. Who writes about the lowly snail? Not enough people, that's who! It earned you a sixth star. And the pic is a hoot. The idea of their "eyes on sticks" beguiling is a great word choice and made me chuckle. I wish I could find something to critique, but it's just great and I wouldn't change a thing.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2019
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Clever word placement to get the desired rhythm. I am rare I suppose, I am a slug whisperer. I made a deal with them that if theynwould leave my veggies be, I'd leave veggie scraps for them in the corners of the garden. There favorite was watermelon rinds. Every once in a while I'd discovered one which either was a rule breaker like I tend to be or they did not get the memo. Spo I just moved them to the "good stuff". I like your poem and its subject matter.
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Clever word placement to get the desired rhythm. I am rare I suppose, I am a slug whisperer. I made a deal with them that if theynwould leave my veggies be, I'd leave veggie scraps for them in the corners of the garden. There favorite was watermelon rinds. Every once in a while I'd discovered one which either was a rule breaker like I tend to be or they did not get the memo. Spo I just moved them to the "good stuff". I like your poem and its subject matter.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2019
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I like your poem, Michael. It fits snails to a 't'. Good job on the style of amphion. Your picture is perfect to pair with your fun words. I like the color scheme, too. Thanks for sharing and participating. Jan
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I like your poem, Michael. It fits snails to a 't'. Good job on the style of amphion. Your picture is perfect to pair with your fun words. I like the color scheme, too. Thanks for sharing and participating. Jan
Comment Written 08-Jan-2019
Comment from nordicgirl
Oh me, this is a screaming laugh. Hehehehehehe! I just love this, Michael. I celebrate this all the time and NOW, there's a name for it. Yay! Too funny. NG
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Oh me, this is a screaming laugh. Hehehehehehe! I just love this, Michael. I celebrate this all the time and NOW, there's a name for it. Yay! Too funny. NG
Comment Written 08-Jan-2019
Comment from Jaye Bennett
I think you nailed the Amphion. The syllabication and the rhyme scheme. You might think people would turned off by slugs. I got an A+ on a research paper on slugs. They are such interesting animals. I was delighted when I saw your poem. You have told it like it is with them. Good job.
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I think you nailed the Amphion. The syllabication and the rhyme scheme. You might think people would turned off by slugs. I got an A+ on a research paper on slugs. They are such interesting animals. I was delighted when I saw your poem. You have told it like it is with them. Good job.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2019
Comment from patcelaw
There us nothing quite as gross as walking barefoot on the lawn art night and stepping on a sticky slimy slug. Have a good year. Patricia
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There us nothing quite as gross as walking barefoot on the lawn art night and stepping on a sticky slimy slug. Have a good year. Patricia
Comment Written 08-Jan-2019
Comment from Gloria ....
Haaaaa, this is adorable. It reads like a charm too. I've never tried the amphion form but it truly has exceptional flow and of course all the more delightful your subject material.
Love it!
Ange
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Haaaaa, this is adorable. It reads like a charm too. I've never tried the amphion form but it truly has exceptional flow and of course all the more delightful your subject material.
Love it!
Ange
Comment Written 08-Jan-2019
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
Michael, this is a GREAT creation! Are you sure it was 'simple'? Looks like you put much thought into it, and I'm sure you did. This is why you are such an accomplished writer ... you put your heart and soul into, and it shows.
I like how you can study a picture, such as this, and, using that creative mind of yours, put together a humorous and well-structured poem.
I like the yellow font ... it picked up the yellow in the slugs' shells and party hats :)
This is a great contest entry!!! You will do very well!
Gale
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Michael, this is a GREAT creation! Are you sure it was 'simple'? Looks like you put much thought into it, and I'm sure you did. This is why you are such an accomplished writer ... you put your heart and soul into, and it shows.
I like how you can study a picture, such as this, and, using that creative mind of yours, put together a humorous and well-structured poem.
I like the yellow font ... it picked up the yellow in the slugs' shells and party hats :)
This is a great contest entry!!! You will do very well!
Gale
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2019
