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Picture Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 259 "Upon the Snow"
Photograph Inspired Poems

10 total reviews 
Comment from Rhonni
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Very nicely written and I love the scheme here...the rhythm is smooth and flows from line to line well. I have lived in St. Paul, MN as well and still live in an area where the snowfall is common...NE. Yes, sometimes the trees don't get the message in time, do they? I enjoyed this, great piece!

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
    Thank you Rhonni. I am pleased you liked my poem, and can relate. From what I can tell you are getting pounded by winter there now with the "Bomb Cyclone." Stay safe and warm.
Comment from Pantygynt
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Very observant of you. Yes they do look somewhat odd on top of the snow. it is amazing how some leaves manage to cling to their branches long after they have lost their verdure. Snow is so unusual here it is not something I have ever seen. Well spotted and nice little poem too.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
    Thank you Pantygynt. We get lots here. Good thing I like snow. It was -1 degrees Fahrenheit today. When I was out walking saw 2 cayotes.
Comment from Joan E.
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Evil Eddie was as slow as the "keepers" in loading your photograph, but it was worth the wait to see the magical scene. You captured it in great detail in your rhymed and rhythmic quatrains. Cheers an keep warm- Joan

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Thank you Joan better late than never. Cheers. even happier.
Comment from rama devi
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This is wonderfully original and refreshing. I enjoyed hte eloquence, flow and phrasing as well as fine rhymes.

one spag to note:

The ghosts of season past awakes
to mourn beneath the naked trees.

ghosts is plural so the verb should be awake, not awakes.

ghosts awake

or ghost awakes

I applaud ll the richly woven poetic devices or alliteration, consonance and assonance - too many to note them all - but I hope you know I notice each one and applaud.



This stanza was my favorite to read aloud:

They settle on the crystal flakes,
and flutter in the winter breeze.
The ghosts of season past awakes
to mourn beneath the naked trees.

Enjoyed the personification overall, but especially here:

Now, some may rise in sultry dance,
while others wobble 'cross the drifts,
as if they're in some sort of trance.
Remainders doing minor lifts.


I love the rhyme here:

But oh, they're so unusual,
to be atop and not below.
It may have been delusional
to see them lie upon the snow.

It's a charming, delightful poem!

Enjoyed.
warmly, rd

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Thank you Rama Devi. Yup, you are correct, and I fixed it. I appreciate you pointing that out. Can't believe that I missed it.
reply by rama devi on 03-Jan-2018
    Sometimes when we proof our own work we miss such typos because the brain sees it how it should be and we're too close to the words. Glad to be of help. Thanks for your gracious response.

    Warmly, rd
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
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This poem is simple but oh so effective and such a joy to read. You saw this scene and out came these wonderful rhyming words, you are a true artist, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Thank you Dolly.for such high praise.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
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A very well-written poem and I guess a really uncommon sight to see fallen leaves upon the snow instead of covered deep beneath.
A very good shot of the desolated park.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Thank you Sandra. Somewhat unusual, but not unheard of.
Comment from Mustang Patty
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Hi there,
Your poem tells a wonderful story to match the beautiful photo you snapped of the 'late leaves.' I always marvel at the leaves that hang on for so long, and then the winds of January finally shake them loose.

Thank you for sharing,

~patty~

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Thank you Patty. Yes, some trees are very stubborn. I amazed by them too.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
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Well said.
It is unusual to see leaves on snow, like the seasons got mixed up.
Your lovely picture is a good match for your poem.
Well rhymed, well written.
Sharon

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Thank you Sharon. I am glad you liked it and appreciate the review.
Comment from patcelaw
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Tom, I do so like this poem. The flow is good the rhyming is spot on and the message well presnted what the photo you took triggered in your mind. Nicely done. Patricia

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Thank you Patricia. Sometimes simple, and often overlooked things are actually amazing.
Comment from Brigitte Elko
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This is an abab poem that follows the guidelines perfectly. The author painted a beautiful magnetic picture of a not so rare occurrence. One suggestion, in the author notes, you may wish to change ever to even.
A nice read with a serene image , this was.
Blessings,
Brigitte

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Thank you Brigitte. I will do that. Appreciate you pointing it out.