Smity's Forty Niner
How much power can an ego have?33 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
A well-written short story - clearly explained, with
natural flowing dialogue - making it an easy read....
albeit has such a sad ending.
Good luck with the contest, my friend.
Margaret
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
  |
A well-written short story - clearly explained, with
natural flowing dialogue - making it an easy read....
albeit has such a sad ending.
Good luck with the contest, my friend.
Margaret
Comment Written 01-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
-
Thanks for your best wishes and for reading my story.
gsnewton77
Comment from Sankey
This was a great read. I am on my mobile and happened on your great story. Hope I can check more of your stuff. Good work, tganks
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
|
This was a great read. I am on my mobile and happened on your great story. Hope I can check more of your stuff. Good work, tganks
Comment Written 01-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
-
Thank you Sankey
gsnewton77
Comment from Thal1959
Very well written. The mentioning of so many names in such a short story can throw the reader a tad, but the works stays clear throughout. Also, a very good, if not surprising, ending.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
|
Very well written. The mentioning of so many names in such a short story can throw the reader a tad, but the works stays clear throughout. Also, a very good, if not surprising, ending.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
-
Thank you for your review Thal1959
I appreciate it.
gsnewton
-
You're welcome.
Comment from Rasmine
Good story, sad ending. :( I was hoping there was no truck coming the other way.
My favorite sentence: "Six, first-team football players from Jefferson School, ended up in the Harris County jail for racing on old highway 125 Friday afternoon, but nobody gave any thought to how stupid it was."
I wish you luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
|
Good story, sad ending. :( I was hoping there was no truck coming the other way.
My favorite sentence: "Six, first-team football players from Jefferson School, ended up in the Harris County jail for racing on old highway 125 Friday afternoon, but nobody gave any thought to how stupid it was."
I wish you luck in the contest!
Comment Written 31-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
-
Thanks for reading the story.
I appreciate your comments.
gsnewton
Comment from Oatmeal
gsnewton75,
The story was very descriptive and created impressions that are vivid and understandable. The flow is good. Very nicely written work. Perfectly arranged & formatted. Good flow. Understandable. The story line made sense. The characters were very likable.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
You wrote this one very well.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
|
gsnewton75,
The story was very descriptive and created impressions that are vivid and understandable. The flow is good. Very nicely written work. Perfectly arranged & formatted. Good flow. Understandable. The story line made sense. The characters were very likable.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
You wrote this one very well.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 31-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
-
Thank you Oatmeal for your comments.
I appreciate your review.
gsnewton77
Comment from Heidi M
Great job allowing the reader to think they had made it by showing the clear road and blue skies. Slipping in the word 'eternity' was clever. This was a sudden ending to your flash fiction.
slam on his (brakes)
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
|
Great job allowing the reader to think they had made it by showing the clear road and blue skies. Slipping in the word 'eternity' was clever. This was a sudden ending to your flash fiction.
slam on his (brakes)
Comment Written 31-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
-
HeidiM
Thanks for the review.
gsnewton
Comment from ciliverde
This story's ending is not exactly a surprise ending, but for just a second I thought they had made it - the clear road ahead, under perfect sunny skies. I wish kids wouldn't do stuff like this, but they do.
I wonder what gave your main character that die-hard determination to compete in this race - and to either run the other guy off the road, or kill all of them. That's some kind of strange mind set, and your story really got me thinking about that.
well done,
Carol
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
|
This story's ending is not exactly a surprise ending, but for just a second I thought they had made it - the clear road ahead, under perfect sunny skies. I wish kids wouldn't do stuff like this, but they do.
I wonder what gave your main character that die-hard determination to compete in this race - and to either run the other guy off the road, or kill all of them. That's some kind of strange mind set, and your story really got me thinking about that.
well done,
Carol
Comment Written 31-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
-
Ciliverde
What can you tell teenagers that they will listen to?
Maybe a new phone.
gsnewton77
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Great story with a dynamite ending. Hope the diesel truck driver made it out alive. He had a lot of protection in that massive cab. Good job! :)
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
|
Great story with a dynamite ending. Hope the diesel truck driver made it out alive. He had a lot of protection in that massive cab. Good job! :)
Comment Written 31-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
-
Hi Phyllis Stewart
Than k you for reading my story and your comments.
gsnewton77
Comment from Mabaker
Mad kids. They can't be told anything. I've known two such accidents both with at least six kids in the car when they ran out of road and hit a gumtree, once and another car both had fatal results. Regards Mabaker
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
|
Mad kids. They can't be told anything. I've known two such accidents both with at least six kids in the car when they ran out of road and hit a gumtree, once and another car both had fatal results. Regards Mabaker
Comment Written 31-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
-
Mabaker
Sorry for the bad experience.
Than k you for reading the story and for your comments.
Best regards - gsnewton77
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Oh my, that was a surprise ending. Now young people need to read this, because they are always racing about taking their lives in their hands.
Great job of creating a scene, and pulling us into the story. Your description is great, and suspense nail biting.
Good luck in the contest,
RHonda
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2017
|
Oh my, that was a surprise ending. Now young people need to read this, because they are always racing about taking their lives in their hands.
Great job of creating a scene, and pulling us into the story. Your description is great, and suspense nail biting.
Good luck in the contest,
RHonda
Comment Written 31-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2017
-
Thank you davisr (Rhonda) for your review.
I appreciate your comments.
gsnewton57
