Picture Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 246 "Spring Buds"Photograph Inspired Poems
14 total reviews
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
"A Tierra of Sonets" is an superior suite of sonnets blending different classical sonnet forms on a single theme with superb craftsmanship. The rhymes and rhyme schemes were as required by the forms. The rhymes were simple gift/uplift, bloom/perfume. The figurative language is excellent "kissed by sun to flash in mornings due." a fresh metaphor.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
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Hi, Treischel,
"A Tierra of Sonets" is an superior suite of sonnets blending different classical sonnet forms on a single theme with superb craftsmanship. The rhymes and rhyme schemes were as required by the forms. The rhymes were simple gift/uplift, bloom/perfume. The figurative language is excellent "kissed by sun to flash in mornings due." a fresh metaphor.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
Comment Written 18-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
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Thank you once more for a very astute review and resounding encouragement in words and stars.
Comment from Pantygynt
This is an interesting exercise, a tiara (not tierra by the way) of three linked sonnets, Petrarchan, Shakespearean and Spenserian, that set each others styles off really well.
it is easy to see why you wanted to retain a sense of period by using archaic terms, but these are frought with grammatical problems that can play merry hell with both scansion and rhyme.
"thy stay shall see such loveliness thou flout". You flout but thou floutest to be perfectly correct but you could perhaps get away with "flouts" here.
This next one is less complicated since hast replacing have has no effect on scansion or rhyme in this instance.
"Thou[,] kissed by sun to flash in morning dew,
ha(ve)[st] hues that painter's pallet(s) once possessed, {or painters' pallets}
by masters on Parisian's famous rue"
Archaic forms must carry there archaic grammar with them otherwise they really grate on the ears of those who are archaically aware -- old fogeys like myself lol.
A fine effort that just needs a little tidying.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
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This is an interesting exercise, a tiara (not tierra by the way) of three linked sonnets, Petrarchan, Shakespearean and Spenserian, that set each others styles off really well.
it is easy to see why you wanted to retain a sense of period by using archaic terms, but these are frought with grammatical problems that can play merry hell with both scansion and rhyme.
"thy stay shall see such loveliness thou flout". You flout but thou floutest to be perfectly correct but you could perhaps get away with "flouts" here.
This next one is less complicated since hast replacing have has no effect on scansion or rhyme in this instance.
"Thou[,] kissed by sun to flash in morning dew,
ha(ve)[st] hues that painter's pallet(s) once possessed, {or painters' pallets}
by masters on Parisian's famous rue"
Archaic forms must carry there archaic grammar with them otherwise they really grate on the ears of those who are archaically aware -- old fogeys like myself lol.
A fine effort that just needs a little tidying.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
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Thank you Pantygynt. I made those corrections forthwith. It always good to get the ear of an old fogey when attempting archaic grammar. Much appreciated.
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Old father time at your service. Lol.
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Treischel, nice to see you back.
This is a wonderful tiara of sonnets in three different forms and so beautifully written. Your description of the rose growing and blooming is delicious. Your words are very graceful and romantic.
A really lovely read.
Brenda:))x
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
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Hi Treischel, nice to see you back.
This is a wonderful tiara of sonnets in three different forms and so beautifully written. Your description of the rose growing and blooming is delicious. Your words are very graceful and romantic.
A really lovely read.
Brenda:))x
Comment Written 18-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
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Thank you Brenda. I appreciate that fine review and relish those 6 stars.
Comment from dragonpoet
These sonnets of the three main formats describe in full color the life span of a rose.
It also tells of the beauty and joy flowers of any kind bring us.
I like that you named these three sonnets for a half of a crown. But it should be tiara
not tierra.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
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These sonnets of the three main formats describe in full color the life span of a rose.
It also tells of the beauty and joy flowers of any kind bring us.
I like that you named these three sonnets for a half of a crown. But it should be tiara
not tierra.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 18-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
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Thank you dragon poet. Yup, I fixed that typo. Appreciate you pointing that out.
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You'r welcome. I miss a lot of my own mistakes too.
dp
Comment from William Ross
very good, I like how you used 3 different sonnet styles to write this, works our very well. Everything is here to make a wonderful write and read. Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece of work and have a great day.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
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very good, I like how you used 3 different sonnet styles to write this, works our very well. Everything is here to make a wonderful write and read. Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece of work and have a great day.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
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Thank you very much William.
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing your trio of springtime sonnets with us, each in a different form. What a tour de force! I admired the sequential titles and your rhymes. The ever increasing, vivid imagery is superb. Bravo! -Joan
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
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Thank you for sharing your trio of springtime sonnets with us, each in a different form. What a tour de force! I admired the sequential titles and your rhymes. The ever increasing, vivid imagery is superb. Bravo! -Joan
Comment Written 17-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
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Thank you so much Joan for a great review,nanda those stars.
Comment from lyenochka
Wow! What an amazing endeavor to write three different types of sonnets. I love the the way the words flow so musically. You have an ear for the sounds of words that flow together. I love how all three are sewn together by one common line. A few of the word choices confused me. "Tierra" means "Earth" to me. I wonder if you meant a triad or triune since there were three? The verbs "flout" and "loom" seemed a bit odd to me in their respective contexts. If "thou" is used, shouldn't the grammar require "floutest?" Overall, these are beautiful tributes to blooming spring roses!
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
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Wow! What an amazing endeavor to write three different types of sonnets. I love the the way the words flow so musically. You have an ear for the sounds of words that flow together. I love how all three are sewn together by one common line. A few of the word choices confused me. "Tierra" means "Earth" to me. I wonder if you meant a triad or triune since there were three? The verbs "flout" and "loom" seemed a bit odd to me in their respective contexts. If "thou" is used, shouldn't the grammar require "floutest?" Overall, these are beautiful tributes to blooming spring roses!
Comment Written 17-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
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Thank you lyenochka.
Comment from Steve Blair
I just finished reading an autumn piece, then I "fall" upon yours! I don't know what season I like best, but your piece makes a great case for spring. Keep creating!
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
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I just finished reading an autumn piece, then I "fall" upon yours! I don't know what season I like best, but your piece makes a great case for spring. Keep creating!
Comment Written 17-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
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Thank you Steve.
Comment from Sis Cat
Yes, "Let's not forget that first portent of Spring." I am glad you are sharing these sonnets now.
This garden of sonnets offer three bouquets of beautiful verse. Your poem is fragrant with the "balm of rose aromas richly loom." It is also colorful. Each progressive--promise, emergence, full bloom--sonnet is well-rhymed and smooth, displaying your skill at different sonnet forms.
Thank you for touting the happiness that "a bud that grows in springtime, tiny sprout."
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
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Yes, "Let's not forget that first portent of Spring." I am glad you are sharing these sonnets now.
This garden of sonnets offer three bouquets of beautiful verse. Your poem is fragrant with the "balm of rose aromas richly loom." It is also colorful. Each progressive--promise, emergence, full bloom--sonnet is well-rhymed and smooth, displaying your skill at different sonnet forms.
Thank you for touting the happiness that "a bud that grows in springtime, tiny sprout."
Comment Written 17-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
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Thank you Sis Cat for this excellent review. I am pleased you liked it so well.
Comment from artemis53
They are all so beautiful and can only emerge from one more observant or even extremely sensitive to the life around us. Your talents are many and these writings display just some of them beautifully.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
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They are all so beautiful and can only emerge from one more observant or even extremely sensitive to the life around us. Your talents are many and these writings display just some of them beautifully.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
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Thank you very much Artemis. I appreciate the compliment and the fine five star review.
