Picture Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 249 "Debonair Darren the Heron"Photograph Inspired Poems
13 total reviews
Comment from IndianaIrish
You must have an amazing display of incredible photographs, Treischel. I love this one of Darren. Your poem's descriptions are full of wonderful imagery and loved the enjambment. The title has the named spelled Derren instead of Darren.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
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You must have an amazing display of incredible photographs, Treischel. I love this one of Darren. Your poem's descriptions are full of wonderful imagery and loved the enjambment. The title has the named spelled Derren instead of Darren.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 08-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
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Thank you Karyn. I'll fix that. .
Comment from RGstar
Oh, Oh, Oh, I loved this my friend, The first stanza is epic and smiled me through the rest on a journey of pleasure. Even though I saw from your notes the different structures used, it is second to the delivery, heart, and yes, found its soul.
Lyrical, humorous, witty and innovative.
Bravo.
One of your best in terms of natural flavor.
My beast wishes, and a jolly well done. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Try to post it a little higher so it is seen by more.
Best wishes,
RG
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2016
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Oh, Oh, Oh, I loved this my friend, The first stanza is epic and smiled me through the rest on a journey of pleasure. Even though I saw from your notes the different structures used, it is second to the delivery, heart, and yes, found its soul.
Lyrical, humorous, witty and innovative.
Bravo.
One of your best in terms of natural flavor.
My beast wishes, and a jolly well done. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Try to post it a little higher so it is seen by more.
Best wishes,
RG
Comment Written 06-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2016
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Thank yo RG for your enthusiastic review as well as the stars.
Comment from TAB_that's me
The image you create in the reader's mind put a smile on my face. Love the 'toes a tappin' part:)
You took a great picture - nice detail in it.
teresa
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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The image you create in the reader's mind put a smile on my face. Love the 'toes a tappin' part:)
You took a great picture - nice detail in it.
teresa
Comment Written 05-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Thank you Teresa.
Comment from Just2Write
OH, I could just envision this guy a-'rappin' and a-tappin' a storm up - like John Travolta on Saturday Night Fever. The Beiber - not so much. LOL
This was a delightful poem and was fun to read. I'm pleased you found him out there and got a photo for proof of his antics. You poem captures the mood of the bird, and perhaps the writer perfectly.
Do you know what kind of heron he is? He looks a bit different from the Great Blues who live in my area.
Rose.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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OH, I could just envision this guy a-'rappin' and a-tappin' a storm up - like John Travolta on Saturday Night Fever. The Beiber - not so much. LOL
This was a delightful poem and was fun to read. I'm pleased you found him out there and got a photo for proof of his antics. You poem captures the mood of the bird, and perhaps the writer perfectly.
Do you know what kind of heron he is? He looks a bit different from the Great Blues who live in my area.
Rose.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Thank you Rose. I wrote a companion poem that tells you called Angles of f diversity.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
"Debonair Derren the Heron" is an excellent poem heavy on alliteration, maybe a bit much. The flow is great not hurt at all by the mixed meter. The figurative language and imagery are good. " he snares them where his fashion flair and savvy endeavors will sway them with his stylish airs promising when evers" a fresh metaphor. The rhyme is good , a little forced by the contractions. The rhyme scheme is followed.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Hi, Treischel,
"Debonair Derren the Heron" is an excellent poem heavy on alliteration, maybe a bit much. The flow is great not hurt at all by the mixed meter. The figurative language and imagery are good. " he snares them where his fashion flair and savvy endeavors will sway them with his stylish airs promising when evers" a fresh metaphor. The rhyme is good , a little forced by the contractions. The rhyme scheme is followed.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
Comment Written 05-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Thank you Preston. That is a very thoughtful and fair review.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your poem. You did a great job with a difficult format [haha--you chose it]. I love the rhyme & alliteration.
Your story flows well. The picture is awesome.
Thanks for sharing. I don't think I will see any of his cousins here where I live--to hot & dry.
Good job & thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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I enjoyed your poem. You did a great job with a difficult format [haha--you chose it]. I love the rhyme & alliteration.
Your story flows well. The picture is awesome.
Thanks for sharing. I don't think I will see any of his cousins here where I live--to hot & dry.
Good job & thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 04-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Thank youbJannypan, I am pkeased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Joan E.
I enjoyed your name for our heron friend and the alliterative title. Your alternating rhymes and additional alliteration are very effective, and your final line is choice! More smiles- Joan
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2016
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I enjoyed your name for our heron friend and the alliterative title. Your alternating rhymes and additional alliteration are very effective, and your final line is choice! More smiles- Joan
Comment Written 04-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2016
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Thank you Joan, glance you enjoyed him again.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I have to say that this was superb. the mixed meter gave a great flow to the piece. great word choices and smatterings of alliteration all worked splendidly.
Loved this.
GMG
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2016
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Hi there,
I have to say that this was superb. the mixed meter gave a great flow to the piece. great word choices and smatterings of alliteration all worked splendidly.
Loved this.
GMG
Comment Written 04-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2016
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Thank you GMG for the great review and expect ally for the stars.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Oh Yeah, He is quite the guy Tom. Male birds are always the most beautiful and I would suppose they need to be because foreplay seems to be alien to them, plus they can really be rough with their advances if you know what I mean. He does look a lot like the Roadrunner. Beep Beep.. Well done. xx Nancy
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2016
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Oh Yeah, He is quite the guy Tom. Male birds are always the most beautiful and I would suppose they need to be because foreplay seems to be alien to them, plus they can really be rough with their advances if you know what I mean. He does look a lot like the Roadrunner. Beep Beep.. Well done. xx Nancy
Comment Written 04-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2016
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Thank you Nancy. He does indeed. Beep beep!
Comment from RodG
I have never seen a heron that looks like the one in your picture. We have blue herons that visit ponds near us.
Delightful description of Darren and his flair for dess and dancin'.
Your mixture of 8-6 meter was perfect for this topic.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2016
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I have never seen a heron that looks like the one in your picture. We have blue herons that visit ponds near us.
Delightful description of Darren and his flair for dess and dancin'.
Your mixture of 8-6 meter was perfect for this topic.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2016
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Thank you RodG
