Picture Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 239 "Caterpillar in Chrysalis"Photograph Inspired Poems
11 total reviews
Comment from I am Cat
Wow, those are some great rhymes you've chosen, Tom
enzymes,
slimes
metastasize
paradigms
reprise
butterflies...
WOW! Those are amazing! Great job on that. ;)
It's full of science, more so that the sweet beauty of poetry, but some find science THE sweet beauty of poetry, don't they? ;)
well done,
Cat
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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Wow, those are some great rhymes you've chosen, Tom
enzymes,
slimes
metastasize
paradigms
reprise
butterflies...
WOW! Those are amazing! Great job on that. ;)
It's full of science, more so that the sweet beauty of poetry, but some find science THE sweet beauty of poetry, don't they? ;)
well done,
Cat
Comment Written 03-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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Thank you Cat. Yes, indeed. Glad you found this and enjoyed it.
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for your contribution to a potential Rondeau marathon and the appropriate resurrection theme as a tribute to Easter. I enjoyed your rhymes plus mix of science and awe. I am glad that your grandson spotted the caterpillar and that you caught its photo plus reflected on its transformation. Happy springtime- Joan
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thank you for your contribution to a potential Rondeau marathon and the appropriate resurrection theme as a tribute to Easter. I enjoyed your rhymes plus mix of science and awe. I am glad that your grandson spotted the caterpillar and that you caught its photo plus reflected on its transformation. Happy springtime- Joan
Comment Written 28-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thank you very much Joan. Happy Spring to you too.
Comment from Just2Write
I loved the lessons in this posting, Tom - and I had no idea that the caterpillar, for a time becomes a primordial soup of sorts. It kinda solves the question of what came first the chicken or the egg. In this case, the loop goes around a few times, until our heads are spinning and we no longer have any idea. LOL
The iambic pentameter works very well in this poem, and gives you one whole more iamb per line to tell this incredible story.
Loved your photo too. Who doesn't love this stage of this little guys life?
Rose.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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I loved the lessons in this posting, Tom - and I had no idea that the caterpillar, for a time becomes a primordial soup of sorts. It kinda solves the question of what came first the chicken or the egg. In this case, the loop goes around a few times, until our heads are spinning and we no longer have any idea. LOL
The iambic pentameter works very well in this poem, and gives you one whole more iamb per line to tell this incredible story.
Loved your photo too. Who doesn't love this stage of this little guys life?
Rose.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thank you Rose. I am pleased that you felt enlightened by this simple poem. Always glad to grab an extra iamb when I can, for once you understand the rules, it's fun to stretch them a bit. This little guy posed well for me. I think he'll become a monarch.
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Your little guy looks like a Pyrrharctia Isabella. Commonly called: A Banded Woolly Bear. In other words, a moth. No matter, he's adorable. I'm not a big fan of moths - but I love caterpillars. Monarchs caterpillars are not fuzzy, but they're still cute. They're alternating black, yellow and white rings.
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Cool, thanks Rose.
Comment from Pantygynt
I am sure the secret of a sound rondeau is to get those four syllables right. They have to be able to attach themselves to the previous line in some way. If they are too self contained it won't work. Consequently to have an opening preposition as you have here is a good start. Then of cours you have to have another seven words to rhyme, without force, with the end of the line. That can be a tall order.
When I started to write my recently posted rondeau, "On City Streets", my first line read "The world around on city streets." I hadn't developed my theoryat that point. I turned it round quickly when I realised how limited the rhyming opportunities were with "streets." The prepositional thing I didn't realize till later.
I would feel safe placing a bet on you being the first poet to use the word "metastasize" in a a poem. Though scientific in its detail this retains its poetic beauty throughout.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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I am sure the secret of a sound rondeau is to get those four syllables right. They have to be able to attach themselves to the previous line in some way. If they are too self contained it won't work. Consequently to have an opening preposition as you have here is a good start. Then of cours you have to have another seven words to rhyme, without force, with the end of the line. That can be a tall order.
When I started to write my recently posted rondeau, "On City Streets", my first line read "The world around on city streets." I hadn't developed my theoryat that point. I turned it round quickly when I realised how limited the rhyming opportunities were with "streets." The prepositional thing I didn't realize till later.
I would feel safe placing a bet on you being the first poet to use the word "metastasize" in a a poem. Though scientific in its detail this retains its poetic beauty throughout.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thank you Pantygynt. I rather enjoyed using that word. Paradigms was another gem, although because it was in the second stanza as the only b rhyme, I think it's relationship to enzymes, slimes, climbs, and sometimes, got lost.
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi TRIESCHEL,
This is a great way of explaining the cycle of a butterfly. A very interesting process that you have put into a poem, making it easier for the reader to understand.
Great read.
Brenda
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Hi TRIESCHEL,
This is a great way of explaining the cycle of a butterfly. A very interesting process that you have put into a poem, making it easier for the reader to understand.
Great read.
Brenda
Comment Written 28-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thank you very much Brenda.
Comment from lightink
Striking poem!
You don't make this the usual sugar coated version of metamorphosis- you show how primal, messy and intense the process is! I love how real you got with this!
Such a rare gift with this theme!
I also like the metaphoric meaning - that even the good change can feel like a little death!
I LOVE these lines:
"I often wonder whether pupa cries,
as it digests itself with some enzymes
into amorphous mess of primal slimes,
until its scattered cells metastasize"
Very well crafted rondeau
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Striking poem!
You don't make this the usual sugar coated version of metamorphosis- you show how primal, messy and intense the process is! I love how real you got with this!
Such a rare gift with this theme!
I also like the metaphoric meaning - that even the good change can feel like a little death!
I LOVE these lines:
"I often wonder whether pupa cries,
as it digests itself with some enzymes
into amorphous mess of primal slimes,
until its scattered cells metastasize"
Very well crafted rondeau
Comment Written 28-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thank you very much Jyoti. It was an interesting process to write about.
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Yes, but most people love to sugarcoat it! Yours was amazingly real! I LOVED how you handled the topic...
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A well written Rondeau and interesting detailed facts in the author notes. We all know the cycle of transformation and it was an eye opener to read the details of the process
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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A well written Rondeau and interesting detailed facts in the author notes. We all know the cycle of transformation and it was an eye opener to read the details of the process
Comment Written 28-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thank you Sandra. It thought it quite interesting too.
Comment from LIJ Red
A chicken is a speck that eats a lot of egg before it hatches. Must work with caterpillars, too. I looked up Rondeau, read Flanders Field and all that.
Looks like you got it right.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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A chicken is a speck that eats a lot of egg before it hatches. Must work with caterpillars, too. I looked up Rondeau, read Flanders Field and all that.
Looks like you got it right.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thank you LIJRed. That is an excellent poem. Good research,. Appreciate your comments.
Comment from DonandVicki
A poetic verse about re-birth and leaving the old self behind, a very well structured poem that really held my attention. Nice flow to the rhyme as well poet.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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A poetic verse about re-birth and leaving the old self behind, a very well structured poem that really held my attention. Nice flow to the rhyme as well poet.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thank you very much DonandVicki.
Comment from jusylee72
Wow, Thanks for the science lesson it intrigued me. I had no idea how it transformed. That being said, I also enjoyed the poem itself Thank you for writing it.
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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Wow, Thanks for the science lesson it intrigued me. I had no idea how it transformed. That being said, I also enjoyed the poem itself Thank you for writing it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thank you jusylee.
