Comment from Nottoway

Exceptional

I had to smile as I was taken back through the years!!!!!!!!!!!!!


You painted a picture of lament that we have all endured. One can imagine himself being the one desperately trying to walk away and then suffer the yearning all day.

Very, very well done.

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2016

Thank you Nottiway.. If we have ever been in love, then so true. I appreciate you comments and the stars.

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Wow--your photograph looked like it captured a foreign land--good mood for another Aubade--a bit of a Romeo and Juliette theme. I admired your rhymes and declaring "work...A sacred trust". Sigh- Joan

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2016

Thank you Joan, alway a joy to read your comments.

Comment from I am Cat

Excellent

Hi Tom,
I love this photo... the poem seemed more peppy than the photo, for me... but that's ok.

'If I should pray
That I could stay,
I'd disregard time's cruel alarms.

I lie here as the morning breaks,
Deciding paths my conscience takes.
The morning sun,
The day's begun!
Now gone the dreams that light forsakes.'

my favorite part.

well done,
Cat

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2016

Thank you Cat, for a lovely review.

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

At least he is coming back! I liked this one, Tom, very romantic. I should imagine you take your wife for a romantic Valentine dinner. Mine does too. I really enjoyed this one, my friend. Well done, you write this style very well. xsx Sandra

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016

Thank you Sandra. Yup, that is the plan.

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

I like these modern aubades. Your clock is your latter day watchman this time. So you can still remember those days when you had to rise to go to work. I must admit being able to be lazy if I choose is one of the nicer things about groing old and these cold, dark mornings make me choose the lazy route more and more often.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016

Thank you Pantygynt. I know what you mean. I love being retired.

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

Well done, very well written the rhymes are great, the rhythm just flows. great job on this. Thanks for sharing. have a great day.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016

Thank you William. Have a great one, too.

Comment from NicciFaye

Excellent

Gorgeous. I love the perspective. As you've noted, it is a moment of parted love, though it never really parts. True love is an infinite matter of spirits. It is expressed beautifully and gracefully. The flow is excellent. It brings peace to heart.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016

Thank you Nicci. Yes, a more satisfying outcome. Unless...

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

This is less permanent and their is hope to return again, unless the unfortunate happens and one of them can't return. There is still hope though and it seems more happy.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016

Thank you Sandra. Exactly.

Comment from IndianaIrish

Excellent

I truly enjoyed the read of your poem, Treischel. I like the flow with the different meter and rhymes. I liked your expression of emotions as responsibilities and work separate the lovers. Very enjoyable.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016

Thank you Karyn. I am pleased that you enjoyed the flow and rhyme, as well as the expression of the emotions. My goals all met!

Comment from Crennan87

Excellent

This is a beautiful poem! It was such a pleasure to read--thank you so much for sharing it with us! I have no critiques to offer for this piece.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016

Thank you acre nan.