Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 102 "Savannah Love"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
25 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Barbara, this is great - I have only one suggested change, and it's a simple one but I think, an important one. I would remove paragraph two and insert it as paragraph six, after "...uses this ring to propose to Paige and she accepts." It acts, then, as a wonderful summation to the highlights of the story and leads well into the next paragraph (where you give a brief biographical sketch).
My opinion - I hope it was a help. :)
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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Barbara, this is great - I have only one suggested change, and it's a simple one but I think, an important one. I would remove paragraph two and insert it as paragraph six, after "...uses this ring to propose to Paige and she accepts." It acts, then, as a wonderful summation to the highlights of the story and leads well into the next paragraph (where you give a brief biographical sketch).
My opinion - I hope it was a help. :)
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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Thank you. I have copied this so many times, I swear it's completely changed.
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Yup, same with my ECEA - and I STILL need to tweak it a little more...sigh...the whole book!
Comment from royowen
I read this brief outline of the story already penned, and it looks like a winner, the plot sounds a little different, the intermixed ghost sounds like a revelation,, although not new, it's always adds mystique to the storyline, well done, look forward. Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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I read this brief outline of the story already penned, and it looks like a winner, the plot sounds a little different, the intermixed ghost sounds like a revelation,, although not new, it's always adds mystique to the storyline, well done, look forward. Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
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Most welcome
Comment from pbroussard209
Delete- (I feel I have the perfect novel, ready to go. Cash Wilkins is a hero who readers will believe in and will do anything to keep the heroine safe. Paige Swanson is a feisty likable heroine who the majority of women can relate to her. The plot is believable, with motivation, conflict, and filled with emotion. Therefore) - This paragraph comes off a little cocky, I have read that agents hate it when an author claims that their book is perfect or great, or the next best thing. I read an article from an agent once, who said she wouldn't even look any further if a author claim their book was the next best sealing book.
The rest of the letter is great, you kept it simple and interesting, and just enough information to make an agent want to read more.
Take my advise as you will, I haven't figured out all the details yet either. All I can do is tell you what I have read.
best of luck,
Trish
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Delete- (I feel I have the perfect novel, ready to go. Cash Wilkins is a hero who readers will believe in and will do anything to keep the heroine safe. Paige Swanson is a feisty likable heroine who the majority of women can relate to her. The plot is believable, with motivation, conflict, and filled with emotion. Therefore) - This paragraph comes off a little cocky, I have read that agents hate it when an author claims that their book is perfect or great, or the next best thing. I read an article from an agent once, who said she wouldn't even look any further if a author claim their book was the next best sealing book.
The rest of the letter is great, you kept it simple and interesting, and just enough information to make an agent want to read more.
Take my advise as you will, I haven't figured out all the details yet either. All I can do is tell you what I have read.
best of luck,
Trish
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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I have made numerous changes in this. I'm not even sure it's the same letter any more. Thank you
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And you will make even more I'm sure I have been working on mine for over a year. And every time I think I have it someone tells me everything I did wrong, lol. It makes a girl want to scream.
You were on the right track I think just a little tweaking and you will have it. The problem with these letters it is all about the personal preference of the agent. Research the agents you are submitting it to and cater to their likes.
I wish I could tell you the secret formula but I'm still trying to figure it out myself.
Comment from elgone
It looks good to me. As you know, I don't get involved in acquisitions. The stories I like are not always the ones that get selected, anyway. But I will ask Cheri about it. I have a meeting tomorrow night with the other authors. Cheri writes romance novels and is pretty prolific. She does much of the initial acquisitions screening prior to the publisher reading the book. Since there was a change going on around the time you submitted, I'm not sure who screened your book, though. everything goes through Authors,me now. If your profile is there make sure the version of the book is current. That way the other publishers that come aboard to use the service will also have access to it.
E
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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It looks good to me. As you know, I don't get involved in acquisitions. The stories I like are not always the ones that get selected, anyway. But I will ask Cheri about it. I have a meeting tomorrow night with the other authors. Cheri writes romance novels and is pretty prolific. She does much of the initial acquisitions screening prior to the publisher reading the book. Since there was a change going on around the time you submitted, I'm not sure who screened your book, though. everything goes through Authors,me now. If your profile is there make sure the version of the book is current. That way the other publishers that come aboard to use the service will also have access to it.
E
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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I have completely changed the letter. Now that school has started, I am afraid Savannah may be left to itself for a while, that saddens me. I will do that. I am re editing it too.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Barbara,
I like the overall scope of the letter, but I'm not sure of the opening paragraph. Perhaps I'm just being 'British' but I do wonder whether or not agents/publishers respond to the 'I believe I have the perfect novel ...' with 'so does everybody else!' As I have learned you have to target your genre carefully, so I'd suggest rephrasing it somehow, perhaps along the lines of ...
I respectfully submit my completed and revised 78,836 word suspense romance novel, Savannah Love, for your consideration. I feel I have a novel, ready to go which will have wide appeal. Cash Wilkins is a hero who readers will believe in and will do anything to keep the heroine safe. Paige Swanson is a feisty heroine many will be able to relate to as she gets to grips with the strange situation in her new home. The plot is believable, with motivation, conflict, and filled with emotion.
OK, probably not perfect, but I hope it makes sense. Paige is an heiress and rich, I wonder if 'all' women can relate to that. I doubt I could if I wasn't reasonably well off myself.
Right, that's my ha'penny worth ...
Good luck with it.
Patrick
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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Hi Barbara,
I like the overall scope of the letter, but I'm not sure of the opening paragraph. Perhaps I'm just being 'British' but I do wonder whether or not agents/publishers respond to the 'I believe I have the perfect novel ...' with 'so does everybody else!' As I have learned you have to target your genre carefully, so I'd suggest rephrasing it somehow, perhaps along the lines of ...
I respectfully submit my completed and revised 78,836 word suspense romance novel, Savannah Love, for your consideration. I feel I have a novel, ready to go which will have wide appeal. Cash Wilkins is a hero who readers will believe in and will do anything to keep the heroine safe. Paige Swanson is a feisty heroine many will be able to relate to as she gets to grips with the strange situation in her new home. The plot is believable, with motivation, conflict, and filled with emotion.
OK, probably not perfect, but I hope it makes sense. Paige is an heiress and rich, I wonder if 'all' women can relate to that. I doubt I could if I wasn't reasonably well off myself.
Right, that's my ha'penny worth ...
Good luck with it.
Patrick
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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Thank you, I have made many changes to this letter.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Hi Barbara,
I have read through your query letter and to me it seems likeable, interesting, and a good overview of the story. I thought the characters were defined well in your descriptions. Having said all that, i must confess I have never written one. I wish you all the best in having your book accepted, Giddy
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Hi Barbara,
I have read through your query letter and to me it seems likeable, interesting, and a good overview of the story. I thought the characters were defined well in your descriptions. Having said all that, i must confess I have never written one. I wish you all the best in having your book accepted, Giddy
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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thank you, I have made some changes
Comment from Chris Tee
Well good luck with this one and I hope and trust it will be accepted by the publisher as I regard you a fine and talented writer.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Well good luck with this one and I hope and trust it will be accepted by the publisher as I regard you a fine and talented writer.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Thank you
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
I think this is very well done. You should look at your formatting and add spaces between the paragraphs. I think this is an excellent synopsis of your novel. I hope they publish it. Take care, my friend. I can't believe it is back to school time again~Debbie
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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I think this is very well done. You should look at your formatting and add spaces between the paragraphs. I think this is an excellent synopsis of your novel. I hope they publish it. Take care, my friend. I can't believe it is back to school time again~Debbie
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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I thought I fixed that. Darn!! Thank you for letting me know.
Comment from Nosha17
This is quite a nerve-wracking time, Barbara and I wish you the utmost success with your submission. I have some suggestions, you may or may not want to use them. It is my profession, so I am quite experienced at it.
The letter: Line 2, is a believable hero who will do ................,with whom the majority of women can relate. The plot is believable with all the right ingredients: motivation,...........
Herewith, I respectfully..............
Para 2.......aspect is the contemporary setting in Savannah, Georgia.
Para 4, consistency of verb tense: gave birth.
Para 6, In the end the treasure is found and the bad guys receive their due punishment/get their just deserts.
Towards the end, Bradley's ghost......... I hope I have been of some help. Faye
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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This is quite a nerve-wracking time, Barbara and I wish you the utmost success with your submission. I have some suggestions, you may or may not want to use them. It is my profession, so I am quite experienced at it.
The letter: Line 2, is a believable hero who will do ................,with whom the majority of women can relate. The plot is believable with all the right ingredients: motivation,...........
Herewith, I respectfully..............
Para 2.......aspect is the contemporary setting in Savannah, Georgia.
Para 4, consistency of verb tense: gave birth.
Para 6, In the end the treasure is found and the bad guys receive their due punishment/get their just deserts.
Towards the end, Bradley's ghost......... I hope I have been of some help. Faye
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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Thank you so much. I had made a lot of corrections just before you reviewed. I am so glad you came along and helped. I am off to make these corrections in master copy. Bless you.
Comment from judiverse
Barbara, I have absolutely no experience writing a query letter or synopsis. You do a great job of bringing in all the essential details of the story. You probably could cut some wording here and there. I wonder if you need the part about it's not about time travel. Maybe continue with maybe a smoother wording with the next part, maybe "The setting is contemporary Savannah, Georgia, and the rich history...." You could probably cut wording elsewhere, too. judi
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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Barbara, I have absolutely no experience writing a query letter or synopsis. You do a great job of bringing in all the essential details of the story. You probably could cut some wording here and there. I wonder if you need the part about it's not about time travel. Maybe continue with maybe a smoother wording with the next part, maybe "The setting is contemporary Savannah, Georgia, and the rich history...." You could probably cut wording elsewhere, too. judi
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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I will work on that. Thank you for the suggestions.
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You're very welcome. Best of luck with finding a publisher. It must take a lot of patience. judi
