Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 100 "Help!!!!!!"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
25 total reviews
Comment from rtobaygo
Good afternoon, Barbara
Possibly making a brief mention of Bradley and his connection to the Battle of Chickamauga, then back fill where it would move the story forward?
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Good afternoon, Barbara
Possibly making a brief mention of Bradley and his connection to the Battle of Chickamauga, then back fill where it would move the story forward?
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 10-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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thank you
Comment from pbroussard209
I am currently doing the same thing with one of my books. It took me two years to figure out what was wrong, as the editors I sent it too didn't tell me why they rejected it. I even had one say it is exactly what they were looking for but it wasn't right for them. (Yea, I'm still scratching my head over that remark, lol)
But it did make me take another look at the beginning of the book and I had to let go of some of the things I really liked or I had to move them somewhere else.
I have to say that I am now liking it a whole lot better. Step back from you book for a while, I set mine aside for six months and then took a better look at it. by then I was on to something else and I wasn't as emotionally attached to it. I saw a lot I could change.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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I am currently doing the same thing with one of my books. It took me two years to figure out what was wrong, as the editors I sent it too didn't tell me why they rejected it. I even had one say it is exactly what they were looking for but it wasn't right for them. (Yea, I'm still scratching my head over that remark, lol)
But it did make me take another look at the beginning of the book and I had to let go of some of the things I really liked or I had to move them somewhere else.
I have to say that I am now liking it a whole lot better. Step back from you book for a while, I set mine aside for six months and then took a better look at it. by then I was on to something else and I wasn't as emotionally attached to it. I saw a lot I could change.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Thank you. This publisher gave me no helpful ideas. Just it wasn't right for their publishing house.
Comment from elgone
Preludes, prologues, forwards and such are passe in fiction, or so my editors have been telling me. They serve a purpose in creating the backstory for character development but it is mainly for the writer to get into his or her story. The information there lends to the sense of depth in a story, which is great. I'm always reminded that The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings produced The Simarillion as a kind of bible that Tolkien used for writing the story. It contains many stories that were alluded to in the Trilogy but never really told in full. For example - why are the elves leaving Middle Earth and heading out to the west of ships? Tolkien never intended to publish those stories in a collection, per se, his children did that after his death. And for those of us who read the Trilogy from cover to cover and The Hobbit as well it is interesting but for anyone else the book is pretty dry and boring, most of it reading like a history text.
Your story is essentially a romance and a ghost story merged. So focus on how elements of each genre are blended in your telling. that. The house and the encounters in other haunted places will tell that part of your story earl on. Let the characters discover the truth about Bookman through researching the house's history . And toward the end it turns the focus becomes finding the treasure. The readers will follow what the characters are discovering. They will want to know the same things. That's how to feather in the Bookman story.
With all the strange things happening around the house especially if you live in the house the reader will want to know the story contained in the first section.
Also, what I have found with pacing is that what works well for posting here on FS leaves points of choppiness when the manuscript it assembled into read chapters. There are peaks where maybe there should not be because you wrote it to gain reader's interest here. That's one of the difficulties of using FS for composing a novel, unless your characters are extremely short. Frequently I was dinged for posting entire chapters of 5000 words. Well, I'm sorr,y but that is how books are composed and perhaps the dollars should be upped for posting those but, generally, fewer people read longer offerings here just because it is all about racking up the bucks to promote their own stuff. I get it, but the model is flawed for creating novels. That's one of the reasons I don't post here. Though I did enjoy the immediate feedback, etc. and met a lot of great writers, like yourself, it was getting in the way of writing the stories I'm trying to tell.
I wouldn't sweat the rejection. I've had hundreds. It's not a no not ever but a no, not yet. You're taking it the right way, figuring out how to make the story better and fixing it so it won't be rejected next time. I'd resubmit it after a good revision.
E
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Preludes, prologues, forwards and such are passe in fiction, or so my editors have been telling me. They serve a purpose in creating the backstory for character development but it is mainly for the writer to get into his or her story. The information there lends to the sense of depth in a story, which is great. I'm always reminded that The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings produced The Simarillion as a kind of bible that Tolkien used for writing the story. It contains many stories that were alluded to in the Trilogy but never really told in full. For example - why are the elves leaving Middle Earth and heading out to the west of ships? Tolkien never intended to publish those stories in a collection, per se, his children did that after his death. And for those of us who read the Trilogy from cover to cover and The Hobbit as well it is interesting but for anyone else the book is pretty dry and boring, most of it reading like a history text.
Your story is essentially a romance and a ghost story merged. So focus on how elements of each genre are blended in your telling. that. The house and the encounters in other haunted places will tell that part of your story earl on. Let the characters discover the truth about Bookman through researching the house's history . And toward the end it turns the focus becomes finding the treasure. The readers will follow what the characters are discovering. They will want to know the same things. That's how to feather in the Bookman story.
With all the strange things happening around the house especially if you live in the house the reader will want to know the story contained in the first section.
Also, what I have found with pacing is that what works well for posting here on FS leaves points of choppiness when the manuscript it assembled into read chapters. There are peaks where maybe there should not be because you wrote it to gain reader's interest here. That's one of the difficulties of using FS for composing a novel, unless your characters are extremely short. Frequently I was dinged for posting entire chapters of 5000 words. Well, I'm sorr,y but that is how books are composed and perhaps the dollars should be upped for posting those but, generally, fewer people read longer offerings here just because it is all about racking up the bucks to promote their own stuff. I get it, but the model is flawed for creating novels. That's one of the reasons I don't post here. Though I did enjoy the immediate feedback, etc. and met a lot of great writers, like yourself, it was getting in the way of writing the stories I'm trying to tell.
I wouldn't sweat the rejection. I've had hundreds. It's not a no not ever but a no, not yet. You're taking it the right way, figuring out how to make the story better and fixing it so it won't be rejected next time. I'd resubmit it after a good revision.
E
Comment Written 10-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Thank you, I am interjecting Bradley's story throughout the book.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
I think I would incorporate it during the story as paige finds out through research the history of her house guest. you could make it part of a page she finds in a journal
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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I think I would incorporate it during the story as paige finds out through research the history of her house guest. you could make it part of a page she finds in a journal
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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That is what I have decided to do. Thank you.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
You're probably right about incorporating Bookman's story into the narrative. It could be as simple as telling the "suspected ghost's" story to Cash after the ghost tour. A "I know you don't believe in ghosts, but we're supposed to have one here..." sort of thing. Just a thought.
:) Nancy
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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You're probably right about incorporating Bookman's story into the narrative. It could be as simple as telling the "suspected ghost's" story to Cash after the ghost tour. A "I know you don't believe in ghosts, but we're supposed to have one here..." sort of thing. Just a thought.
:) Nancy
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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Paige reads a lot of old journals, she could even read one of the letters Bradley sent his wife during the war. Thank you.
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Excellent solution, Barbara. :) Nancy
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Don't be put off - my very first book
took 18mths to be accepted.
I would definitely incorporate Bradley -
A story within the main story, can only
make more intrigue.
Margaret
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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Don't be put off - my very first book
took 18mths to be accepted.
I would definitely incorporate Bradley -
A story within the main story, can only
make more intrigue.
Margaret
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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I am going to do that. Thank you.
Comment from Chris Tee
I would incorporate Bradley's story to add intrigue. I cannot understand why you had a rejection as you are such a talented writer.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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I would incorporate Bradley's story to add intrigue. I cannot understand why you had a rejection as you are such a talented writer.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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The publisher didn't think this story would fit into their line. I am wondering if the aspect of racism in today's society is part of the problem. Thank you for the help.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Barbara,
I have recently gone through something similar with my publisher. What I have learned is that the story within the main story, or back story, is best 'revealed' in conversations by your principle players, or as a 'discovered' artifact or ,'entry' such as a tombstone.
Have fun ...
Patrick
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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Hi Barbara,
I have recently gone through something similar with my publisher. What I have learned is that the story within the main story, or back story, is best 'revealed' in conversations by your principle players, or as a 'discovered' artifact or ,'entry' such as a tombstone.
Have fun ...
Patrick
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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I am going to do that. Thank you.
Comment from Tootsie55
It might be an idea to do that, Barbara. I kno0w Bradley Bookman kind of turned up out of the well um what id he turn up out of hehe. Good ;luck with whatever you decide to do. Hoping some others of us who went through the great novel with you will be able to give you the advice you need. Last chapter of Tootsie55 Trip story coming on in a day or so. Then we will do a complete book review and close the account in October. sankey isn't going anywhere ok hehe.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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It might be an idea to do that, Barbara. I kno0w Bradley Bookman kind of turned up out of the well um what id he turn up out of hehe. Good ;luck with whatever you decide to do. Hoping some others of us who went through the great novel with you will be able to give you the advice you need. Last chapter of Tootsie55 Trip story coming on in a day or so. Then we will do a complete book review and close the account in October. sankey isn't going anywhere ok hehe.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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I am going to do that. Thank you.
Comment from Ben Colder
By now you have many suggestions. I find it as a style issue and nothing more. Some authors including self. I enjoy revealing power phrases and points of interest that create drama somewhere in the first section and then in the third allows a remembrance so the reader can move on with desire to understand the heart of the write. I learned much from Long Ridge Writer College and two times Pulitzer Prize Winner Professor, Jon Franklin. If you can find Franklin's book, Writing for story, no doubt it will help. Personally, I liked it as it is. Never let rejection letters rule your thoughts or writing. One Monkey never stops a show. Blessings to you.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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By now you have many suggestions. I find it as a style issue and nothing more. Some authors including self. I enjoy revealing power phrases and points of interest that create drama somewhere in the first section and then in the third allows a remembrance so the reader can move on with desire to understand the heart of the write. I learned much from Long Ridge Writer College and two times Pulitzer Prize Winner Professor, Jon Franklin. If you can find Franklin's book, Writing for story, no doubt it will help. Personally, I liked it as it is. Never let rejection letters rule your thoughts or writing. One Monkey never stops a show. Blessings to you.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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I hope you had a great time fishing. I am going to change my first chapter. I doubt it will be a problem to add Bradley's story in. Paige reads the journals there's the perfect spot. Thank you.
