Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Prologue "Synopsis"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
30 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, Barbara. you did an excellent job writing this synopsis for the book. I would also bring up about cash struggling not to fall in love with paige as they are from two different worlds and bring in the puppy somehow.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
  |
this is very well written, Barbara. you did an excellent job writing this synopsis for the book. I would also bring up about cash struggling not to fall in love with paige as they are from two different worlds and bring in the puppy somehow.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
-
Both are very good points. I had Morgan in my first draft, but cut him because of the word count. I will try again. You're right about Cash fighting off his love for Paige. That's important. Thank you.
Comment from Nosha17
I have not read any of your novel as I wasn't a member when you posted it before. However, I do understand what a synopsis is and how important it is when sent to a publisher. Because I don't know the story at all besides what you have put in the synopsis, I was a bit confused by the appearance of Bradley-I gathered he is either a ghost or reincarnation of the original owner of the house. If the person who is reading the synopsis doesn't know this, he has to guess he has returned. Maybe, you should put a snippet here explaining his reappearance. I can not comment on anything else as I haven't read your book.
You have included an excerpt which whets the appetite of the reader. One wee thing in Para 4, all the rest is in the present, so it should read 'become'. I wish you much success, Barbara. Faye
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
|
I have not read any of your novel as I wasn't a member when you posted it before. However, I do understand what a synopsis is and how important it is when sent to a publisher. Because I don't know the story at all besides what you have put in the synopsis, I was a bit confused by the appearance of Bradley-I gathered he is either a ghost or reincarnation of the original owner of the house. If the person who is reading the synopsis doesn't know this, he has to guess he has returned. Maybe, you should put a snippet here explaining his reappearance. I can not comment on anything else as I haven't read your book.
You have included an excerpt which whets the appetite of the reader. One wee thing in Para 4, all the rest is in the present, so it should read 'become'. I wish you much success, Barbara. Faye
Comment Written 23-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
-
I will add that Bradley is a ghost. You're very correct that needs to be there. I will check paragraph 4. Thank you.
Comment from barkingdog
Back at the family home in Savannah Georgia, his wife, Alice, delivers their first and only child, James Bradley Bookman, at exactly the same time. Bradley remains by her side during the delivery.
At exact moment of Corporal Bookman's death, his wife, Alice, delivers their first and only child, James Bradley Bookman. The Corporal's ghost remains by her side throughout the entire delivery.
A little re-write, Barbara.
*****
It's been so long since I read it. I'm trying to remember a favorite part. I think it had something to do with the other relatives that were trying to find/claim the treasure. They were trying to scare her out off of the property. I remember a hand print on a car being a clue
I hope that helps.
Good luck in publishing.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
|
Back at the family home in Savannah Georgia, his wife, Alice, delivers their first and only child, James Bradley Bookman, at exactly the same time. Bradley remains by her side during the delivery.
At exact moment of Corporal Bookman's death, his wife, Alice, delivers their first and only child, James Bradley Bookman. The Corporal's ghost remains by her side throughout the entire delivery.
A little re-write, Barbara.
*****
It's been so long since I read it. I'm trying to remember a favorite part. I think it had something to do with the other relatives that were trying to find/claim the treasure. They were trying to scare her out off of the property. I remember a hand print on a car being a clue
I hope that helps.
Good luck in publishing.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
-
Thank you this is exactly what I was hoping to get. I appreciate your help.
-
You're welcome.
You have a big project ahead. ;) e
Comment from c_lucas
You might check your action verys ie, Broken into - Burgalarized. Otherwise this is very well written with a smooth flow of words and is very informative.
Errors
WIKINS (Wilkins)
killed during a battle (the Battle of
The Spirit of Bradley Bookman
the Bookman (Bookman's)antebellum
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
|
You might check your action verys ie, Broken into - Burgalarized. Otherwise this is very well written with a smooth flow of words and is very informative.
Errors
WIKINS (Wilkins)
killed during a battle (the Battle of
The Spirit of Bradley Bookman
the Bookman (Bookman's)antebellum
Comment Written 23-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
-
Those corrections will be made. Those type of things were exactly what I was hoping to get. Thank you
-
You're welcome, Barbara. Charlie
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Barb...
- Nice synopsis for 'Savannah Love'.
_ I wish you the best in publishing.
_ Love this novel. (*>*)
- A few things came to mind while reading, but use or lose as you see fit.
>> This part reads a bit confusing to me.
>> Do you mean 'several rooms' instead of 'occasions?'
>> Perhaps delete [on]
- The mansion is broken into [on] several occasions and it becomes clear
>> This sounds to me as if Bradley is still alive.
>> Suggest adding: Bradley's spirit/ghost befriends---
- Bradley befriends Paige as he guides her
>>> I would leave a bit of a question at the end and maybe say---'but will she accept his proposal?'
- presents this ring to Paige as she accepts his proposal.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
|
Hi, Barb...
- Nice synopsis for 'Savannah Love'.
_ I wish you the best in publishing.
_ Love this novel. (*>*)
- A few things came to mind while reading, but use or lose as you see fit.
>> This part reads a bit confusing to me.
>> Do you mean 'several rooms' instead of 'occasions?'
>> Perhaps delete [on]
- The mansion is broken into [on] several occasions and it becomes clear
>> This sounds to me as if Bradley is still alive.
>> Suggest adding: Bradley's spirit/ghost befriends---
- Bradley befriends Paige as he guides her
>>> I would leave a bit of a question at the end and maybe say---'but will she accept his proposal?'
- presents this ring to Paige as she accepts his proposal.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 23-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
-
Everything I have read on synopsis says to give the ending. I will check those areas. I did mean on many occasions or numerous times, maybe that would be better. Thank you for the help.
-
Well, you see. I'm a case in true fact.
Seldom do I follow the rules. LOL (*<*)
Comment from Lesley Collier
An interesting romantic story of a soldier supposedly killed in battle while his wife gives birth to a son. The mansion of the soldier and his wife is inherited by Paige from her aunt and she is introduced to a man named Cash who has been hired by her aunt to restore the house. Because of a rumoured hidden treasure within the house their are several break-ins and it is obvious someone wants Paige evicted from the house causing Bala, her maid, problems as well. Bradley befriends Paige and reveals the eventually revealing the treasure to her while Cash comes to terms with his existence and accepts his wife's ring to propose to Paige who eagerly accepts. A well written short story with a hint of mystery and a happy ending!
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
|
An interesting romantic story of a soldier supposedly killed in battle while his wife gives birth to a son. The mansion of the soldier and his wife is inherited by Paige from her aunt and she is introduced to a man named Cash who has been hired by her aunt to restore the house. Because of a rumoured hidden treasure within the house their are several break-ins and it is obvious someone wants Paige evicted from the house causing Bala, her maid, problems as well. Bradley befriends Paige and reveals the eventually revealing the treasure to her while Cash comes to terms with his existence and accepts his wife's ring to propose to Paige who eagerly accepts. A well written short story with a hint of mystery and a happy ending!
Comment Written 23-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
-
Thank you for the kind review,
Comment from Jacob Collins
I always find a synopsis difficult to write although I've been told by literary agents that most agents read the work first before reading the synopsis and some don't even read it at all. I thought that your novel well and you explained in detail but keeping it short what the book is about, I couldn't find anything to critique. Good luck in getting your work published...Jacob
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
|
I always find a synopsis difficult to write although I've been told by literary agents that most agents read the work first before reading the synopsis and some don't even read it at all. I thought that your novel well and you explained in detail but keeping it short what the book is about, I couldn't find anything to critique. Good luck in getting your work published...Jacob
Comment Written 23-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
This sounds quite intriguing. I am usually late to the novels as not many new worthwhile ones have been posted recently. I hate joining the party late, so time permitting, I can have a look at this one!
You have spelt Cash's name both as Wikins and Wilkins in this.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
|
Hi there,
This sounds quite intriguing. I am usually late to the novels as not many new worthwhile ones have been posted recently. I hate joining the party late, so time permitting, I can have a look at this one!
You have spelt Cash's name both as Wikins and Wilkins in this.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 23-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
-
Thank you, I will make that correction. I need to know that.
Comment from Ben Colder
Thanks Barbara for posting this. Idiots who wish to remove out history have no clue what it all stands far. However it must happen so the Muslims can take over Obama so desiring wants. I really enjoyed, Savanna Love. Well done.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
 |
Thanks Barbara for posting this. Idiots who wish to remove out history have no clue what it all stands far. However it must happen so the Muslims can take over Obama so desiring wants. I really enjoyed, Savanna Love. Well done.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
-
Thank you for your kindness and support.
Comment from country ranch writer
read other works from that time of the war it will give you some insights and also check out Gone with the Wind it might give you some idea of the language used back then during the war between North and South
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
|
read other works from that time of the war it will give you some insights and also check out Gone with the Wind it might give you some idea of the language used back then during the war between North and South
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
-
I used the southern dialect in my novel. Thank you.
-
sounding good to me keep up the good work
