Sins of My Father
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "Hanging With the Guys "A coming of age story.
13 total reviews
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi Gretchen.
Once again, I'm so behind. This chapter is well done with great descriptions and visuals. I felt Rory's longing for Cassie, and the courage it took to tell her how he felt. What really stood out was the scene around the BBQ. Peer pressure is often very difficult for kids. You handled this scene so well. I like how you had Ellison accept Rory's decision not to drink,and how he shared the reason's why with his friends.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Hi Gretchen.
Once again, I'm so behind. This chapter is well done with great descriptions and visuals. I felt Rory's longing for Cassie, and the courage it took to tell her how he felt. What really stood out was the scene around the BBQ. Peer pressure is often very difficult for kids. You handled this scene so well. I like how you had Ellison accept Rory's decision not to drink,and how he shared the reason's why with his friends.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 17-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the great review and the wonderful feedback. Gretchen
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. Another step towards him learning what's important. I'm glad she left him. I didn't find spags...the dialgoue felt oaky. It feels a little lacking energy. But thtz could be me.
I will find the next chapter, cause i want to keep readind. padumachitta
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Hi. Another step towards him learning what's important. I'm glad she left him. I didn't find spags...the dialgoue felt oaky. It feels a little lacking energy. But thtz could be me.
I will find the next chapter, cause i want to keep readind. padumachitta
Comment Written 15-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the great review and the nice comments,. Gretchen
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
A challenged romance, as Cassie fails to settle with Rory and is charmed with a rich Boyd. However, she is still open and she does not write Rory off.
Your narratioon of this chapter is natural and life-like.
Most of all, you deal well with moral lessons. I guess you could call this didactic writing," or teaching a lesson against indulging in alcohol. Good!!
Don
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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A challenged romance, as Cassie fails to settle with Rory and is charmed with a rich Boyd. However, she is still open and she does not write Rory off.
Your narratioon of this chapter is natural and life-like.
Most of all, you deal well with moral lessons. I guess you could call this didactic writing," or teaching a lesson against indulging in alcohol. Good!!
Don
Comment Written 13-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from Gladness
I see the next chapter is called clueless. I was wondering when he would realize Cassie really is not interested in him and give it up.
This is well written, like all the chapters are. You are good at putting the reader right there in the action.
Anita
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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I see the next chapter is called clueless. I was wondering when he would realize Cassie really is not interested in him and give it up.
This is well written, like all the chapters are. You are good at putting the reader right there in the action.
Anita
Comment Written 13-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the wonderful review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from Sankey
Well good on him for staking a stand. At least on drinking but he did pinch Dad's truck huh! Good chapter thanks. All the creeps around the place for sure.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Well good on him for staking a stand. At least on drinking but he did pinch Dad's truck huh! Good chapter thanks. All the creeps around the place for sure.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from adewpearl
excellent dialogue - it shows Rory's character well, both when he talks with Cassie so openly and when he is honest with the other guys about not drinking and why. He could have given into peer pressure or lied about his reasons to decline the drink, but he chooses to be up front. I also like the responses others give him. Brooke
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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excellent dialogue - it shows Rory's character well, both when he talks with Cassie so openly and when he is honest with the other guys about not drinking and why. He could have given into peer pressure or lied about his reasons to decline the drink, but he chooses to be up front. I also like the responses others give him. Brooke
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from marion
Hi there
Another good chapter in your YA novel. I have just completed similar chapters in my YA novel! I like your writing style, so very unlike mine.(which I like too! LOL) I have also carried out chapters on the same topic! Love your end line -
I'm not the skinny, awkward guy with the flashlight eyes. I feel accepted.
Marion.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Hi there
Another good chapter in your YA novel. I have just completed similar chapters in my YA novel! I like your writing style, so very unlike mine.(which I like too! LOL) I have also carried out chapters on the same topic! Love your end line -
I'm not the skinny, awkward guy with the flashlight eyes. I feel accepted.
Marion.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the nice comments and the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from Misrael
I have to say that Rory has to have some gumption in order to not have any alcohol. But I think that he is going to get in trouble with his dad and that won't be pretty. Good read and keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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I have to say that Rory has to have some gumption in order to not have any alcohol. But I think that he is going to get in trouble with his dad and that won't be pretty. Good read and keep up the good work.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Thank you for he great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from Jay Squires
It's not going the way I thought. I admit, I assumed he was going to bow to the peer pressure, then have at least one beer, which his dad would later smell on his breath.
Of course there's still time for that to happen between now and 10 PM.
Good chapter. You seem to write with such ease, Gretchen. So did Hemingway, but I'm told he worked harder than any to perfect that ease. I suspect you do too.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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It's not going the way I thought. I admit, I assumed he was going to bow to the peer pressure, then have at least one beer, which his dad would later smell on his breath.
Of course there's still time for that to happen between now and 10 PM.
Good chapter. You seem to write with such ease, Gretchen. So did Hemingway, but I'm told he worked harder than any to perfect that ease. I suspect you do too.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Hemingway taught me everything I know. LOL. Very flattered to have my name in the same sentence tough. Great review and I thank you for it. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Oh, oh, which means that now he is one of the guys he will give in and have a drink. Peer pressure is very hard to sluff off. I am anxious to know what will develope as the night moves on. Good job Gretchen. Nancy
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Oh, oh, which means that now he is one of the guys he will give in and have a drink. Peer pressure is very hard to sluff off. I am anxious to know what will develope as the night moves on. Good job Gretchen. Nancy
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
