Sins of My Father
Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Dream Date"A coming of age story.
13 total reviews
Comment from BlueFlag
very good chapter and read
it was very good
worthy of my
5 star review
and grab some ribbons
at the door
go get them...
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
  |
very good chapter and read
it was very good
worthy of my
5 star review
and grab some ribbons
at the door
go get them...
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
-
Thank you for the great review and the nice compliment. Gretchen
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Gretchen.
Sorry if I sent you a muddled reply. My finger slipped while typing.:)
You have written another great chapter. I could see Rory's eagerness to meet Cassie and the urgency to get Dean out of the house. You showed so well the scene where Dean was about to take the keys, and how Rory dodged the situation. I felt so badly for Rory when Cassie used him for just a ride. This is something that can happen at that age, kids very self-centered and not aware of the feelings of others. You showed this well.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
|
Hi, Gretchen.
Sorry if I sent you a muddled reply. My finger slipped while typing.:)
You have written another great chapter. I could see Rory's eagerness to meet Cassie and the urgency to get Dean out of the house. You showed so well the scene where Dean was about to take the keys, and how Rory dodged the situation. I felt so badly for Rory when Cassie used him for just a ride. This is something that can happen at that age, kids very self-centered and not aware of the feelings of others. You showed this well.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 09-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
-
No problem. Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from adewpearl
You show Rory's impatience effectively
good description of Charla
She wants to separate once they get to the party - that certainly is not good for his expectations of this "date"
good dialogue throughout
Brooke
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
|
You show Rory's impatience effectively
good description of Charla
She wants to separate once they get to the party - that certainly is not good for his expectations of this "date"
good dialogue throughout
Brooke
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
-
Thank you for the great review an the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
Dad and Charla seem to hit it off, as they finbally leave the house.
Rory enacts his plan as he leaves in Dad's truck to pick up cassie.
It seems clear things are in flux, as Cassie aims to seek friends at the party, and she is not settled with Rory.
He adores her, almost worships theground she walks on.
Your descriptions are great, Gretchen. The dialogue great.
Don
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
|
Dad and Charla seem to hit it off, as they finbally leave the house.
Rory enacts his plan as he leaves in Dad's truck to pick up cassie.
It seems clear things are in flux, as Cassie aims to seek friends at the party, and she is not settled with Rory.
He adores her, almost worships theground she walks on.
Your descriptions are great, Gretchen. The dialogue great.
Don
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
-
Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from amahra
Wow, that's cold. Any fool could see they were on a date. Seems like she's playing him. Anyway, loved the chapter even though I'm just coming to it.
I climb up in to [into]the cab and look around in disgust. do you mean 'into'?
I run back to my room and splash [on] some aftershave on. I don't think you want to end a sentence with a preposition.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
|
Wow, that's cold. Any fool could see they were on a date. Seems like she's playing him. Anyway, loved the chapter even though I'm just coming to it.
I climb up in to [into]the cab and look around in disgust. do you mean 'into'?
I run back to my room and splash [on] some aftershave on. I don't think you want to end a sentence with a preposition.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
-
Thank you for the great review and the helpful comments. Gretchen
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I hate it when people step in to my novels when they are well underway and here I have done it to you. I will only review what I read today and I didn't notice any SPAG. Good job.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
|
I hate it when people step in to my novels when they are well underway and here I have done it to you. I will only review what I read today and I didn't notice any SPAG. Good job.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
-
Thank you for the step in review. All reviews are welcome. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
What a comedown! Wow, Here he is out on a limb and she is just using him for transportation. Poor kid. I hope he can get her to the party and return home before he is caught. I hope he is smart enough to do that. Kudos Gretchen! Nancy
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
|
What a comedown! Wow, Here he is out on a limb and she is just using him for transportation. Poor kid. I hope he can get her to the party and return home before he is caught. I hope he is smart enough to do that. Kudos Gretchen! Nancy
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
-
Nancy, you know he's going to get caught. It is rory's luck. LOL. Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Misrael
I can hardly wait to find out what happens next between Rory and his date and Rory and his dad.. I look for some sparks to fly. Good read and keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
|
I can hardly wait to find out what happens next between Rory and his date and Rory and his dad.. I look for some sparks to fly. Good read and keep up the good work.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
-
Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from chasennov
"Dream Date" This is a very well thought out chapter you have created here. Sometimes we screw up messages all on our own. Women have a mind all of their own, and they never share their thoughts outright. Well done.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
|
"Dream Date" This is a very well thought out chapter you have created here. Sometimes we screw up messages all on our own. Women have a mind all of their own, and they never share their thoughts outright. Well done.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
-
Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
-
You are welcome, Gretchen.
Comment from Righteous Riter
The tone and the atmosphere is set from the opening lines. Good, clear and intense dialogue. Good transition between the events. Nice steady pace leading to a conclusion that leaves me wondering what will happen next.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
|
The tone and the atmosphere is set from the opening lines. Good, clear and intense dialogue. Good transition between the events. Nice steady pace leading to a conclusion that leaves me wondering what will happen next.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
-
Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
