Sins of My Father
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Deer in the Headlights"A coming of age story.
11 total reviews
Comment from Norbanus
Damn good job of showing us a kid caught in the act and trying to lie out of it without telling a lie that's too much bigger.
Good introspection with thoughts of his grandmother's advice.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Damn good job of showing us a kid caught in the act and trying to lie out of it without telling a lie that's too much bigger.
Good introspection with thoughts of his grandmother's advice.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from Zinnia48
I love that Rory thinks/acts like a teenager--especially one with an alcoholic father. I was kind of hoping he would cave with the truth, but that wouldn' make as interesting a story as this turn of even will. I'm looking forward to seeing how this will change their relationship. cAroline
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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I love that Rory thinks/acts like a teenager--especially one with an alcoholic father. I was kind of hoping he would cave with the truth, but that wouldn' make as interesting a story as this turn of even will. I'm looking forward to seeing how this will change their relationship. cAroline
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Their relationship will change, that's for sure. Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Fridayauthor
Very nicely done chapter! It looks like you put a lot of time into it.
I especially like the line...road allows me to see ants crawling
Was the extra space before "My dad...on purpose?
Good work!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Very nicely done chapter! It looks like you put a lot of time into it.
I especially like the line...road allows me to see ants crawling
Was the extra space before "My dad...on purpose?
Good work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. Another wonderful chapter. I really should be reviewing like a review, looking for stuff. But, I do look, and I like what I see. Mostly, I see these pop up and save them for when I need a break from the day. The just resonate with me. So, you aint getting an unbiased review. Just some gal who liked to read them.
I am glad Rory knows he crossed the line. Somehow that makes it a little better...but, it was shitty f him to say the thing about his dad doing it while drinking. The lying I can forgive...the line about drinking, that's just mean. Oh well, now I gotta wait for the next one.
Go on now, you get writing!
padumachitta
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Hi. Another wonderful chapter. I really should be reviewing like a review, looking for stuff. But, I do look, and I like what I see. Mostly, I see these pop up and save them for when I need a break from the day. The just resonate with me. So, you aint getting an unbiased review. Just some gal who liked to read them.
I am glad Rory knows he crossed the line. Somehow that makes it a little better...but, it was shitty f him to say the thing about his dad doing it while drinking. The lying I can forgive...the line about drinking, that's just mean. Oh well, now I gotta wait for the next one.
Go on now, you get writing!
padumachitta
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the great review. I am so very glad you are enjoying this story. That means a lot more thank a technical review. I am enjoying writing this, so it's good to hear from someone who likes the story. Thank you, again. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Oh what tangled webs we weave when first we practice to deceive. He has told that first lie now comes a multitude more to make the first sound more convincing. LOL I suppose that is how we live and learn. I hope he doesn't get away with it because it will impact the rest of his life if he does. Good work Gretchen. Nancy
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Oh what tangled webs we weave when first we practice to deceive. He has told that first lie now comes a multitude more to make the first sound more convincing. LOL I suppose that is how we live and learn. I hope he doesn't get away with it because it will impact the rest of his life if he does. Good work Gretchen. Nancy
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Dean is the master of lies, his whole life was a lie. Rory is a novice. I think I would place my money on Dean. LOL. Thank for the great review. How are you feeling? Gretchen
Comment from Misrael
Uh oh Rory is in for it now. I can tell by how this ended. He is in deep doo doo. I didn't see any typos and the story is very good and keeps my attention. Good read and keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Uh oh Rory is in for it now. I can tell by how this ended. He is in deep doo doo. I didn't see any typos and the story is very good and keeps my attention. Good read and keep up the good work.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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You may be right, but Dean is gong to let him dangle a bit longer. LOL, Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from adewpearl
Authentic depiction of how a kid caught in the act will just keep digging the hole deeper and deeper with more lies. Excellent dialogue.
You get into Rory's head well as he hits that doe and then as he covers up the "crime." Brooke
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Authentic depiction of how a kid caught in the act will just keep digging the hole deeper and deeper with more lies. Excellent dialogue.
You get into Rory's head well as he hits that doe and then as he covers up the "crime." Brooke
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
This is candid, straight forward in human nature, even though it's uncomfortable. That discomfort applies to characters--not an admirable character.Rory may well be scared of his dad, and resort to lying as an escape.
Though taht works temporially, he's not off the hook. Dad lunderstands human nature --the nature t osave one's hide by lying.
Rory must face the cold, hard fats that "Sincs of MY Father," applies to him also.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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This is candid, straight forward in human nature, even though it's uncomfortable. That discomfort applies to characters--not an admirable character.Rory may well be scared of his dad, and resort to lying as an escape.
Though taht works temporially, he's not off the hook. Dad lunderstands human nature --the nature t osave one's hide by lying.
Rory must face the cold, hard fats that "Sincs of MY Father," applies to him also.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the great review. I really appreciate the feedback. Gretchen
Comment from Sankey
Wow good chapter. Real life for sure. He's been pretty good and put up with a lot so far huh! See what happens with Dad. He worships his truck I guess?
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Wow good chapter. Real life for sure. He's been pretty good and put up with a lot so far huh! See what happens with Dad. He worships his truck I guess?
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Jay Squires
Oh, I guess he has just crossed the line! First of all, clean copy. No spag I could detect. How can anyone not empathize with Rory. Not sympathize. But, lies don't come full-blown. They grow a virulent little bit at a time. The small lie was taking the truck out. No it wasn't. The first small lie was telling the girl he drives all the time with his dad. Each time he takes the car out the lie is compounded. What was really bad was when he went outside the lie to cover it by adding an element that wasn't in the first one.
Why am I rambling on, telling you this.
Because I am invested in Rory, but also Paul. It hurts to see the wedge that dishonesty drives between them.
Yet it all started so innocently.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Oh, I guess he has just crossed the line! First of all, clean copy. No spag I could detect. How can anyone not empathize with Rory. Not sympathize. But, lies don't come full-blown. They grow a virulent little bit at a time. The small lie was taking the truck out. No it wasn't. The first small lie was telling the girl he drives all the time with his dad. Each time he takes the car out the lie is compounded. What was really bad was when he went outside the lie to cover it by adding an element that wasn't in the first one.
Why am I rambling on, telling you this.
Because I am invested in Rory, but also Paul. It hurts to see the wedge that dishonesty drives between them.
Yet it all started so innocently.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much for the feedback. Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
