Sins of My Father
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Let the Chips Fall"A coming of age story.
11 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
The chapter flows along smoothly, setting the stage for
catastrophic events to come. No severe SPAGs or lapses in continuity or logic that I saw.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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The chapter flows along smoothly, setting the stage for
catastrophic events to come. No severe SPAGs or lapses in continuity or logic that I saw.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
Rory and his dad seem to be hitting it off better in this chapter.
However, their advice to eath is not heeded. Advice from his dad about burning bridges is a figure of speech that rory judges as unim;portant.
rory seems to admit he might make a mistake falling for Cassie, but rejects the analogy of burning bridges.
Dad on his part rejects Rory's counsel about drinking.
Your descriptions are excellent and your dialgoue greeat.
Don
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Rory and his dad seem to be hitting it off better in this chapter.
However, their advice to eath is not heeded. Advice from his dad about burning bridges is a figure of speech that rory judges as unim;portant.
rory seems to admit he might make a mistake falling for Cassie, but rejects the analogy of burning bridges.
Dad on his part rejects Rory's counsel about drinking.
Your descriptions are excellent and your dialgoue greeat.
Don
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Both of them think they know more about life than they actually do. Great review and very insightful. Gretchen
Comment from adewpearl
when dad's shoulders rise and fall in answer to Dean's question - fantastic use of non-verbal communication
I love the conversation about doing something stupid and burning bridges
powerful moment when the chip is tossed
Brooke
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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when dad's shoulders rise and fall in answer to Dean's question - fantastic use of non-verbal communication
I love the conversation about doing something stupid and burning bridges
powerful moment when the chip is tossed
Brooke
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the wonderful review and the nice comments. You got all of the subtleties that I was trying to convey. Thanks. Gretchen
Comment from Jay Squires
I don't have good feelings about you, Rory! I think his dad knows the mystery friend is his own son. Great chapter, Gretchen.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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I don't have good feelings about you, Rory! I think his dad knows the mystery friend is his own son. Great chapter, Gretchen.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from marion
Hi there
Favourite line: Nope, this one has three factory issue hubcaps and is painted a dismal blue that would probably be labeled 'suicide blue' on a paint chip.
Am loving this...
Marion.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Hi there
Favourite line: Nope, this one has three factory issue hubcaps and is painted a dismal blue that would probably be labeled 'suicide blue' on a paint chip.
Am loving this...
Marion.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. I like it. You attention to detail is just so good and clear.
The line below is perfect...the three of u, the elephant and us...how perfect is that? Perfect.
The three of us just listen to the night sounds for an hour or so before we eventually wander back inside the confines of the house.
I like suicide blue, sort of gets his state of mind in, not good, reckless.
Silly boy, well, I hope he can drive well enough to get off the road to hell.
Thanks for these, I enjoy them.
padumachitta
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Hi. I like it. You attention to detail is just so good and clear.
The line below is perfect...the three of u, the elephant and us...how perfect is that? Perfect.
The three of us just listen to the night sounds for an hour or so before we eventually wander back inside the confines of the house.
I like suicide blue, sort of gets his state of mind in, not good, reckless.
Silly boy, well, I hope he can drive well enough to get off the road to hell.
Thanks for these, I enjoy them.
padumachitta
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much for the excellent review. Gretchen
Comment from Misrael
That sounds like a teenager all right. But I guess that they will have to have it out with him and I can imaging how
he might feel about it. Good read and keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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That sounds like a teenager all right. But I guess that they will have to have it out with him and I can imaging how
he might feel about it. Good read and keep up the good work.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from Sankey
Good one! Heated seats, that's interesting? IN a truck?? Thanks for a good read. Poor old Rory hope he doesn't do anything stupid. Looks like he might. No spags well done.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Good one! Heated seats, that's interesting? IN a truck?? Thanks for a good read. Poor old Rory hope he doesn't do anything stupid. Looks like he might. No spags well done.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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He's a teenaged boy, of course he'll do something stupid. It's like a rite of passage to teenagers. LOL. Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Fridayauthor
Very nice work. I especially like this line: "Do they make you give them back, you know, when you start drinking again?"
fog that wants to linger from my nap.
fog that lingers from my nap.
No sense holding on to a lie, now is it?"
No sense holding on to a lie, now is there?"
Thanks for the posting. I'll read more.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Very nice work. I especially like this line: "Do they make you give them back, you know, when you start drinking again?"
fog that wants to linger from my nap.
fog that lingers from my nap.
No sense holding on to a lie, now is it?"
No sense holding on to a lie, now is there?"
Thanks for the posting. I'll read more.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much for the detailed and wonderful review. I really appreciate it.
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You're welcome!
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I hope he gets caught on his practice run so he won't be embarrassed in front of the girl he admires. He has a lot of growing up to do. I think Dean will be understanding when it comes to poor choices. Good job. Gretchen. Nancy
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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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I hope he gets caught on his practice run so he won't be embarrassed in front of the girl he admires. He has a lot of growing up to do. I think Dean will be understanding when it comes to poor choices. Good job. Gretchen. Nancy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Hey! Glad you are back. I sure hope you are feeling better and getting the rest and attention you need and deserve. Good to hear from you. Thanks for the review. But as you know, Rory will get in a little deeper before he starts to dig his way out. Gretchen
