Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Thank you for penning this timely Father's Day tribute. I enjoyed your rhythmic quatrains with alternating rhymes. Your use of alliteration is effective as well. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014

Thank you Joan.

Comment from Shirley E Kennedy

Excellent

Nicely written in iambic tetrameter and a very worthy subject choice.
Dads are so important in the lives of their children an to promote spending time together having fun is good to see.
The image and words complement each other well
.

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014

Thank you Shirley.

Comment from rod007

Excellent

Dad's savior is always near and kids who know their dad love them will always reach out for that love as mine do. Being a father is a wondeful magic of life. Well done, Tom.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014

Thank you rod. Enjoy those cherished blessings they bring.

Comment from sunnilicious

Excellent

I remember my childhood friends with me at the park. Not my parents. Is that normal?

This is a wonderful poem to commemorate dear old daddy. Good visual imagery created. Good rhymes. Good poetic form. Nice work.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014

Thanks Alicia. Not unusual at all. When you very young, it's the parents with you, but as you grow older, it's your friends there.

Comment from Preston McWhorter

Excellent

Hi, Treischel,
"Ups and Downs" is an excellent Fathers Day poem honoring Dads for what they do for us. It has good rythem and rhyme. It has good figurative language and imagery (fickle fortune frowns)
Preston

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014

Thank you Preston.

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

Very poetic. Very well spelled and grammatical. Excellent.
The center man on the seesaw at my grammar school was the one to start the teetertottering-and accelerate it until someone was bucked off and beaten up. Sweet kids.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014

Thank you LIJ Red. That sounds like a very tough neighborhood. Very different from what I'm depicting here, 4 sure.

Comment from Angel Debbie

Excellent

Nice Fathers Day though.
Words and picture goes very well together.

Rhythum and rhyme are perfect no errors.

Poem style fits the way written.
Thanks you for sharing both talents once more.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014

Thank you Angel Debbie.

Comment from 9999pool

Excellent

Up and down we go on the swing of life from fortunes and then misfortunes. The ride can be rough, but with Dad's steadying the ebb and flow of things, we will survive it all.
Somehow parents never relinquished their love and responsibilities on us children, even when we are old, smiles.
Great loving story about our dads and how they will come to our rescue financially or otherwise.
Cheerio, Ritchie. :))

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2014

Thank you Ritchie. Yes, they take care of us in many ways.

reply by 9999pool on 06-Jun-2014

Smiles, Ritchie. :))

reply by 9999pool on 06-Jun-2014

Smiles, Ritchie. :))

Comment from Capricorn30

Excellent

A well-penned Father's Day dedication;
Good alliteration: "fickle fortune frowns";
The writing also serves as an ode to all fathers do, and all they mean to us.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2014

Thank you Capricorn.

Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent

This is a lovely Father's Day sentiment expressed in a most delightful way. You infuse the reader with joy and memories of childhood in this simple, yet well penned piece. Nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2014

Thank you so much Mystic Angel.