Sins of My Father
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Free Swirlies"A coming of age story.
13 total reviews
Comment from Zinnia48
Interesting reflection on team spirit in sports. Also interesting to see how that impacts Rory for the good. I was impressed withhis willingness to be honest/take the blame. The story flows naturally and the dialogue is splendid as usual. caroline
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
  |
Interesting reflection on team spirit in sports. Also interesting to see how that impacts Rory for the good. I was impressed withhis willingness to be honest/take the blame. The story flows naturally and the dialogue is splendid as usual. caroline
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
-
Thank you so much for the great review and the wonderful comments. Gretchen
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. No way, ya gottapost ...geez. I played b-ball all through to college...ran way to many stairs cause of my dumb ass smart mouth and my team mates shanagons...sothis hit home...least they are getting in shape:-)padumachitta
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
|
Hi. No way, ya gottapost ...geez. I played b-ball all through to college...ran way to many stairs cause of my dumb ass smart mouth and my team mates shanagons...sothis hit home...least they are getting in shape:-)padumachitta
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
-
I love basketball and most of thee times I put it somewhere in my stories. I have another novel (very short) on basketball called July. It is on my profile and I would love to get your take on it, if you ever have any spare time LOL. Thanks for the awesome review. Gretchen
Comment from Gladness
Another good chapter. True to life and well written. It makes you feel like you are right there. Good use of dialog. And, thanks for your note, Anita
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
|
Another good chapter. True to life and well written. It makes you feel like you are right there. Good use of dialog. And, thanks for your note, Anita
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
-
Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
Your writing in this chapter is almost like you're one of the team.Realistic narration, dialogue and dramatic action make this a good read.
And I compliment you on splendid typing--clean copy without spags.
Don
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
|
Your writing in this chapter is almost like you're one of the team.Realistic narration, dialogue and dramatic action make this a good read.
And I compliment you on splendid typing--clean copy without spags.
Don
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
-
Thank you for the great review and the compliment. Gretchen
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Perfect punishment all round from Rory's 'show-off' stunt to Ellison's contributing actions.
Having strong role models in a young adult book will only help establish this as a kid-friendly book.
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
|
Perfect punishment all round from Rory's 'show-off' stunt to Ellison's contributing actions.
Having strong role models in a young adult book will only help establish this as a kid-friendly book.
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
-
Thank you for the wonderful review. Sometimes adult interaction in a young adult book is frowned upon, but really, how many kids out there don't have some interaction in real life. Gretchen
Comment from Muffins
Perfect blend of teenager agony and fear. Roy is such a likable character. You want to step inside the story and offer as much guidance as you can to make his journey through these years a bit more pleasant.
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
|
Perfect blend of teenager agony and fear. Roy is such a likable character. You want to step inside the story and offer as much guidance as you can to make his journey through these years a bit more pleasant.
Comment Written 16-May-2014
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
-
Thank you for the great review and the wonderful comments. Gretchen
Comment from Sankey
Good chapter. Poor Rory. Definitely the underdog most of the time huh! Even though he is smarter than most..most of the time huh!
One possible spag. I shovel? was the l a spag? my gear into my locker
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
|
Good chapter. Poor Rory. Definitely the underdog most of the time huh! Even though he is smarter than most..most of the time huh!
One possible spag. I shovel? was the l a spag? my gear into my locker
Comment Written 15-May-2014
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
-
Shoving and shoveling are two very distinct actions. To shove is push, to shovel means to throw and push things in. That's my terminology anyway. Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
-
Ok no worries there will always be these differences from culture to culture even within English. We have spades and shovels here a spade is a smaller implement you use to dig up dirt and move dirt and stuff and a shovel is a much lager version of the spade type of thing.
Comment from c_lucas
This is a very good insight on how to build team spirits. The funeral will be after the lynching. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
|
This is a very good insight on how to build team spirits. The funeral will be after the lynching. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
Comment Written 15-May-2014
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
-
Thank you, Charlie for the great review. Gretchen
-
You're welcome, Gretchen. Charlie
Comment from Jay Squires
Somehow, I missed one of your chapters. What led up to this doesn't ring a bell. This is good stuff, though.
even though I am an arms length [an arm's length]
can't make 10 free throw, [free throws]
I like the coach and his attitude, especially his little speech.
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
|
Somehow, I missed one of your chapters. What led up to this doesn't ring a bell. This is good stuff, though.
even though I am an arms length [an arm's length]
can't make 10 free throw, [free throws]
I like the coach and his attitude, especially his little speech.
Comment Written 15-May-2014
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
-
My son has a coach who is like that. He gives the team an awesome and inspiring quote at the end of every practice and tells them what it means to him. Now my twelve year old is looking for quotes to give him and he's understanding them. Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
The coach is a very wise man. He handles the situation to take the heat off Rory and lets the entire team realize their actions can have an effect on everyone. Well done. I will miss your reviews and story. Be safe and hurry back. Nancy
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
|
The coach is a very wise man. He handles the situation to take the heat off Rory and lets the entire team realize their actions can have an effect on everyone. Well done. I will miss your reviews and story. Be safe and hurry back. Nancy
Comment Written 15-May-2014
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
-
Thank you so much for the great review. Gretchen
