Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 92 "CHAPTER TWENTY; PART ONE"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
40 total reviews
Comment from mumsyone
Just checking here, Barbara:
His eye brows rose. Why would I do that? (With Paige's answer of "Maybe.", it sounds like Bradley's question should be (")Would I do that?" instead of (")Why would I do that?"
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Just checking here, Barbara:
His eye brows rose. Why would I do that? (With Paige's answer of "Maybe.", it sounds like Bradley's question should be (")Would I do that?" instead of (")Why would I do that?"
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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I like your way better. I changed it. Thank you for the help.
Comment from rine1873
why did Bradley see the door and Paige didn't. I love dialog and how you put body mannerism's so I can actually see the character.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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why did Bradley see the door and Paige didn't. I love dialog and how you put body mannerism's so I can actually see the character.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Welcome
Comment from Gungalo
Wow Bradley just got her out of the tunnel in time eh? I knew he was in there with her and the dog would have been a giveaway. Sigh.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Wow Bradley just got her out of the tunnel in time eh? I knew he was in there with her and the dog would have been a giveaway. Sigh.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the kind review. Remember the men are still in the tunnel.
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Ooooh that's right.
Comment from c_lucas
Only Paige would argue with a ghost whe is trying to save her and morgan's lives. Very well written.
Errors:
This tunnel's a maze (These tunnels are life a maze.)
Bradley walked. (Bradley started walking down the tunnel.)
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Only Paige would argue with a ghost whe is trying to save her and morgan's lives. Very well written.
Errors:
This tunnel's a maze (These tunnels are life a maze.)
Bradley walked. (Bradley started walking down the tunnel.)
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Paige does have a mind of her own. I will check those areas.
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Be careful, Paige might sic Morgan on Harley. Or maybe it's Morgan that may have to be careful. (LOL)
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Great chapter, my friend. It may have taken a while, but you have written a first class book. It is one of the few FS novels I would actually pay to read! Enjoy your Sunday, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Great chapter, my friend. It may have taken a while, but you have written a first class book. It is one of the few FS novels I would actually pay to read! Enjoy your Sunday, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the generous compliment. I hope to have it published late next fall.
Comment from Sankey
Lovely seeing you back again friend. I still have not go t back to my writing. Having too much fin reading all the stuff from my fans and other writers.
Good chapter glad Bradley Bookman and Paige are finally talking to each other in a more 'live?' fashion.
One spag... Bradley chuck(l)ed out loud.
Now Hurry back with some more please.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Lovely seeing you back again friend. I still have not go t back to my writing. Having too much fin reading all the stuff from my fans and other writers.
Good chapter glad Bradley Bookman and Paige are finally talking to each other in a more 'live?' fashion.
One spag... Bradley chuck(l)ed out loud.
Now Hurry back with some more please.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thank you for your eagle eye. I fixed the error.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh, Barbara, I loved this part! It is tying so much together! I do hope Bradley decides to appear to the others at some point though, just so they finally are sure of Paige! (LOL) Your description of Morgan's acceptance of the ghost is wonderful too - it adds so much to the story!
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Oh, Barbara, I loved this part! It is tying so much together! I do hope Bradley decides to appear to the others at some point though, just so they finally are sure of Paige! (LOL) Your description of Morgan's acceptance of the ghost is wonderful too - it adds so much to the story!
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate your kindness.
Comment from angelface2
Well, Bradley and Morgan seemed to lead Paige to an opening. did it take them outside or somewhere else? I hope they are safe, at any rate. Nicely written, Barbara. Miss Sally
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reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Well, Bradley and Morgan seemed to lead Paige to an opening. did it take them outside or somewhere else? I hope they are safe, at any rate. Nicely written, Barbara. Miss Sally
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate your kindness.
Comment from rama devi
INteresting ghostly encounter. Well depicted with the dialog and haring the ghost speak in her head (which is, I assume, what the bold font is meant to indicate?) That's what it seems like at first but then the whole second half of the post is in bold, so I think Editor Eddie might have been playing his mischief with you?
Just before the dead end, there's a door. You missed it.
(LINE BREAK HERE--and no bold on her dialog, I think):
"I'm sure there wasn't a door. My flashlight was working then and I searched all around. There was no door."
(NO BOLD ON ACTION TAGs:)
Paige stopped and put her hands on her hips.
His eye brows rose.
Paige paused and thought a moment.
Bradley walked
Paige noticed Morgan followed Bradley. She jogged to catch up.
etc.
Is this internal dialog? If so... suggest italics:
I understand why Cash always has a bewildered look on his face..
* Bradley pushed a brick, a door opened.
Suggest:
Bradley pushed a brick, and a door opened.
or
Bradley pushed a brick...a door opened.
(or a dash)
or
Bradley pushed a brick. A door opened.
Good pacing, especially with the shorter sentences in the narrative--suits the scene's mood well. I was drawn into the scene quickly and it held my attention. Good dialog-true to life. Good use of action tags to enhance the scene and characterization.
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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INteresting ghostly encounter. Well depicted with the dialog and haring the ghost speak in her head (which is, I assume, what the bold font is meant to indicate?) That's what it seems like at first but then the whole second half of the post is in bold, so I think Editor Eddie might have been playing his mischief with you?
Just before the dead end, there's a door. You missed it.
(LINE BREAK HERE--and no bold on her dialog, I think):
"I'm sure there wasn't a door. My flashlight was working then and I searched all around. There was no door."
(NO BOLD ON ACTION TAGs:)
Paige stopped and put her hands on her hips.
His eye brows rose.
Paige paused and thought a moment.
Bradley walked
Paige noticed Morgan followed Bradley. She jogged to catch up.
etc.
Is this internal dialog? If so... suggest italics:
I understand why Cash always has a bewildered look on his face..
* Bradley pushed a brick, a door opened.
Suggest:
Bradley pushed a brick, and a door opened.
or
Bradley pushed a brick...a door opened.
(or a dash)
or
Bradley pushed a brick. A door opened.
Good pacing, especially with the shorter sentences in the narrative--suits the scene's mood well. I was drawn into the scene quickly and it held my attention. Good dialog-true to life. Good use of action tags to enhance the scene and characterization.
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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I must have been correcting some of this while you were reading. The rest I have corrected. Thank you for the kind review.
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My pleasure, dear. Blessings, rd
Comment from judiverse
Two ghosts are better than one. Interesting to have Bradley himself on the scene, directing Paige. It's fun that Morgan so readily follows him. Looks like another close call for Paige and Morgan. Bradley tries to help lead the
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Two ghosts are better than one. Interesting to have Bradley himself on the scene, directing Paige. It's fun that Morgan so readily follows him. Looks like another close call for Paige and Morgan. Bradley tries to help lead the
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
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You're so welcome. It was a joy to read. judi
