Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 92 "CHAPTER TWENTY; PART ONE"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
40 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Thanks for the pleasure of another enjoyable chapter. Wouldn't it be nice if we all had a couple ghosts to keep us pointed in the right direction. Great job. :-)
(add)
>>She turned and (tilted) her head.
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Thanks for the pleasure of another enjoyable chapter. Wouldn't it be nice if we all had a couple ghosts to keep us pointed in the right direction. Great job. :-)
>>She turned and
Comment Written 28-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Siouxsun
I think the story line is creative and suspense filled.
I think it could use more intensity though.
If I were in a cave in the pitch black because my batteries died I would be a little more excited or nervous. My thoughts or actions would show that.
Also Perhaps a few well placed exclamation marks for emphasis for example in the following sentence.
*All in good time.(!) All in good time.(!) That's what my mom and Aunt Paula used to tell me. I used to think 'patience, child' was my name. (!)
I enjoyed the added humor also-- Thought her name was Patience. =)
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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I think the story line is creative and suspense filled.
I think it could use more intensity though.
If I were in a cave in the pitch black because my batteries died I would be a little more excited or nervous. My thoughts or actions would show that.
Also Perhaps a few well placed exclamation marks for emphasis for example in the following sentence.
*All in good time.(!) All in good time.(!) That's what my mom and Aunt Paula used to tell me. I used to think 'patience, child' was my name. (!)
I enjoyed the added humor also-- Thought her name was Patience. =)
Comment Written 28-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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I will consider your ideas. I have been taught NOT to use very many !'s points though.
Comment from Writingfundimension
I noted the very effective use of bold for the ghost's dialogue. I think I'll try that sometime. It added to the flow. I love that Paige is finally facing Bradley's ghost. Now, if she'll just do as he says...
Great job, as always,
Warm regards, Bev
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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I noted the very effective use of bold for the ghost's dialogue. I think I'll try that sometime. It added to the flow. I love that Paige is finally facing Bradley's ghost. Now, if she'll just do as he says...
Great job, as always,
Warm regards, Bev
Comment Written 28-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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I couldn't decide how to denote Bradley's dialogue so I thought of that idea. It seems to work. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're very welcome, Barbara. Inspired, I'd say. :0) BEv
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Other than the first sentence of the last paragraph, which should be bold, this is perfect, Barbara. Paige is almost ready to be shown the treasure, if it exists, or learn its history if it doesn't. Either way, Cash isn't going to admit to believing in ghosts, despite what he saw at the Savannah cemetery. Well done. :)nancy
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Other than the first sentence of the last paragraph, which should be bold, this is perfect, Barbara. Paige is almost ready to be shown the treasure, if it exists, or learn its history if it doesn't. Either way, Cash isn't going to admit to believing in ghosts, despite what he saw at the Savannah cemetery. Well done. :)nancy
Comment Written 28-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and the encouraging words.
Comment from Cajungirl
Great Chapter, Glad Bradley finally decided to make a visible appearance. That was a mighty close call for Paige and Morgan. Can't wait to see what Bradley will do next.
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Great Chapter, Glad Bradley finally decided to make a visible appearance. That was a mighty close call for Paige and Morgan. Can't wait to see what Bradley will do next.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
Comment from A Matter Of Words
That was a close call for Paige. This is another exciting and well-written chapter, Barbara. I liked the way you use the dog as an anchor for Paige. Excellent chapter.
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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That was a close call for Paige. This is another exciting and well-written chapter, Barbara. I liked the way you use the dog as an anchor for Paige. Excellent chapter.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Norbanus
So Paige and Morgan the door in time
but left a pile of rubble in their wake
When Cash arrives, he'll find some rocks to climb
but he'll keep digging on for Paige's sake
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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So Paige and Morgan the door in time
but left a pile of rubble in their wake
When Cash arrives, he'll find some rocks to climb
but he'll keep digging on for Paige's sake
Comment Written 28-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Thank you for the kind review. You are wonderful
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Barbara:)
Now you've done it, I have to believe that ghosts are real or, as I usually would, I like Cash and Billy Joe, would just decide Paige was hallucinating from a blow to her head when the tunnel caved in.
Oh well, either way, I feel entertained and will wait patiently until Paige is safe and in Cash's strong arms. In any case Morgan knows the truth, but I doubt he will tell.
I found no noticeable errors so I'm sending you more love and Irish Hugs to keep your stories coming.
Roger
Roger
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Hi Barbara:)
Now you've done it, I have to believe that ghosts are real or, as I usually would, I like Cash and Billy Joe, would just decide Paige was hallucinating from a blow to her head when the tunnel caved in.
Oh well, either way, I feel entertained and will wait patiently until Paige is safe and in Cash's strong arms. In any case Morgan knows the truth, but I doubt he will tell.
I found no noticeable errors so I'm sending you more love and Irish Hugs to keep your stories coming.
Roger
Roger
Comment Written 28-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Thank you for the kind review. HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Okay see this is what I mean you are such a tease. Where does the door lead too?! Ugh. And how come Bradley didn't help her out sooner? Couldn't he at least have grabbed her shoe? Oh yeah, why doesn't Paige pick up Morgan if his poor little paws a swollen? Man you just keep me guessing, but I can't help but to read on. You're killing me, seriously.
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Okay see this is what I mean you are such a tease. Where does the door lead too?! Ugh. And how come Bradley didn't help her out sooner? Couldn't he at least have grabbed her shoe? Oh yeah, why doesn't Paige pick up Morgan if his poor little paws a swollen? Man you just keep me guessing, but I can't help but to read on. You're killing me, seriously.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Thank you for the kind review. Morgan is a lab and getting rather large by now. LOL HUGS!!
Comment from Cumbrianlass
At last! I love the conversation between Bradley and Paige. He's wonderful! I also love that Morgan accepted him.
A couple of minor things to look at:
"I know your paw's swelled." - I think this should be 'swollen'.
His eye brows rose. - eyebrows is one word
The tunnel's caving in. - Should this have been 'bold', as in Bradley's dialogue? It's present tense, and seems a bit odd the way it is at the moment. Thought I'd check.
Hugs!!
Av
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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At last! I love the conversation between Bradley and Paige. He's wonderful! I also love that Morgan accepted him.
A couple of minor things to look at:
"I know your paw's swelled." - I think this should be 'swollen'.
His eye brows rose. - eyebrows is one word
The tunnel's caving in. - Should this have been 'bold', as in Bradley's dialogue? It's present tense, and seems a bit odd the way it is at the moment. Thought I'd check.
Hugs!!
Av
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Thank you for the help with my writing. I appreciate the time it took to help. I have made the corrections.
