Reviews from

Sins of My Father

Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Subjective Humor"
A coming of age story.

11 total reviews 
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ahh the suffering of a teenager huh. We all bin there for sure. Good chapter again I love this as I said because in a lot of ways I relate.
One spag unless it was local language ok.
"Kid was probably ease(eaves) dropping on Denise and Albie, that's all."



 Comment Written 14-May-2014

reply by the author on 28-May-2014
    I did miss the spelling of eaves drop. Thank you for the continued reading and reviewing of this. Gretchen
Comment from Muffins
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Rich dialogue, funny with original situations and reactions from the characters. The father and son scenes crackle with beauty and the aches and pains of real life. Each character is a force to be dealt with together and on their own. A great job.

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Thank you so much for the wonderful review and the nice compliments. Gretchen
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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ease dropping - eavesdropping
shaking his head, a wicked grin - good use of non-verbal communication to enhance the spoken conversation, which conveys well the attitude of the speakers
Brooke

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Thank you for the wonderful review. I appreciate the help. Gretchen
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
Excellent
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Well, Gretchen, you continue with reality in not white-washing family.

I think you have a real talent with keen humor. Along with this dealing with charactere, you have vivid description.

Another refreshing factor is that you keep your chapters reasonably short.

Don

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from Rosalyne
Excellent
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Hi, Gretchen.
Your book is coming along well. I liked how Rory paddled, Etienne out of the boat. Very funny and shows another side to Rory. You ended the chapter leaving the reader wanting more.
Bye
Rosalyne :)

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Thank you for the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from Gladness
Excellent
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Another good chapter. I was a little surprised he went through with his plan. It was also interesting that he had the nerve to ask his dad that question about Cassie's mom. This guy's got some guts.
Anita

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Thank you for the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
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15 year old Rory French is trying to figure out ho he is and why life seems so unfair. [figure out WHO he is...]

I told Albie, in the strictest of confidences. [Is confidenceS right? I'm asking because I don't know. It just doesn't look right.]

"You done all your homework?"
[A spacing problem]

Some were huge and sparkling like diamonds, while others were [Tense problem. You lapsed into the past tense here.]

Geez! I love the last two lines of this chapter. The whole chapter is great, but the last two lines are so "telling" of the character of both Dean and Rory!

Thanks, Gretchen.




 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Thank you for the great review. I appreciate the help. I went back and changed the spags. Gretchen
Comment from Dianemae
Excellent
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Beating around the bush and not getting an answer, happens a lot. Good story. Felt the emotions of not wanting to call and the feelings of a young boy confused in life.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from padumachitta
Excellent
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Hi. I like these two. I like Rory"s spunk and I like that his Dad is not a tight ass. You bring these characters to life. The dialgou is real and I can hear their voices.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from gazzagodbod
Excellent
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lol loved this a great finish and could just see the paddle whacking lol great work my friend and thank you for sharing it xxgazzagodbodxx

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 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Thanks! Gretchen