Reviews from

Picture Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 160 "Precarious Perch"
Photograph Inspired Poems

9 total reviews 
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
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I admired your call to "survive and thrive" in this well-crafted tanka. I enjoyed your addition of alliteration and your reinforcing photograph. Here's to fighting the good fight! -Joan

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
    Thanks Joan. I hope the alliteration doesn't count against me in the Japanese tradition. But the rules seemed very related.
reply by Joan E. on 27-Apr-2014
    I haven't heard consternation about alliteration, just gerunds, rhymes and personification. Happy Sunday- Joan
Comment from Robin Gilmor
Excellent
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I'm not so sure of the form. The enjoyment is certain and your verse sends me the message that inspires. YOur visual is complete. Smiles
to you my friend. Robin :)

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
    Thank you Robin. Good to hear from you.
Comment from rod007
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There is a great analogy with the struggles we endure in life, our feet firmly planted on the earth as our spirits and soul reach for God and magic. Well done, Tom.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
    Thank you rod
Comment from 9999pool
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When nearing the end of our lives, what do we do. We may perish at the end of the soil as we are slowly eroded and uprooted by the extreme weather facing us.
With one last ditch effort, we raised our arms to heaven - hoping we will go to heaven soon without the torture and the emptiness sucking in our breath and lives.
Great Tanka - mingling the death of nature to our own perils in life.
Excellently penned and well expressed.
Loved this write and it can win. Fingers crossed.
Out of sixers, so a virtual six ****** Stars for this contest entry.
Cheerio, best, Ritchie. :))

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
    Thank you Ritchie. I greatfully accept a virtual 6.
reply by 9999pool on 27-Apr-2014
    Welcome, Tom. Smiles. :))
    Cheerio, Ritchie.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Excellent
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A clever and perceptive Haiki where the image and word imagery
Combine perfectly to share true facts.
An amazing picture and good use of thought and creativity to produce this fine Haiku verse.
Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
    Thank you Shirley.
Comment from sunnilicious
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Great visual imagery. WEll thought out and clearly written. Excellent poetic form. Also, you met the requirements for a tanka poem. Great work. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
    Thank you Alicia.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
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Hi, Treischel,
"Precarious Perch" is excellent tanka meeting the line syllable requirements of the form. It my opinion the "indomitable spirit" should have been implied rather than stated. Good luck in the contest.
Preston

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
    Thank you Preston. I see your point of view. Just don't necessarily agree.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
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Dear Tom - I loved this tanka, spot on syllables, great word choices and strong impact. I am always amazed ant the trees that do the same on Bon Echo rock.....fascinating to ponder as I watch them cling to nothing yet survive the storms and winds somehow.
Great overall job and good luck in the contest.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen

Precarious perch 5
Indomitable spirit 7
Life lived on the edge 5
As roots tightly hold and cling 7
Triumphant arms reach the sky 7

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
    Thank you Maureen. Yes, I love their spirit.
Comment from ravenblack
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That is one indomitable spirit - in actuality and in metaphor. This reminds me so much of Yellowstone/the Tetons. I have so many photos of trees clinging to the edge, their roots exposed yet somehow still surviving.

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
    Thanks ravenblack. These are along the Missippi river bluffs, it always amazes me where some trees will grow.