Reviews from

Sins of My Father

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "License to Paradise"
A coming of age story.

12 total reviews 
Comment from Sankey
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Another good chapter. Enjoying trying to catch up where I came in from the prompt ages ago.
One spag this time sorry. "So, your old man is hitting the bottle again, hu(-n)h?"



 Comment Written 14-May-2014

reply by the author on 28-May-2014
    Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
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.
Your writing is very human in this chapter. You're straight forward, in dealing with characters.
I can understand your dilemma about Etinne's bluntness, and your scheme forming in your mind about dumping hi in the creeYour ending of the chapter invites further reading.


 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Rosalyne
Excellent
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Hi Gretchen.
Your characters and dialogue are great. I like the way you showed the school scene and Rory with his peers. I could feel his discomfort after being rejected by Cassie. You captured this perfectly. Great read.
Bye
Rosalyne :)

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Thank you for the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from emrpoems
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Excellent dialogue
Excellent interaction between characters
Well written and holds the reader's attention
ens and leaves you wanting to read the next chapter to find out what happened

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Jay Squires
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I'm glad this started with his school and friends and budding relationships

I've been doing suicides and drills [has this been explained earlier, or is it something that everyone else but me knows?]

Your chapters never disappoint, Gretchen, and they are so well-edited you don't leave me much to do.

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Suicides and drills are exercises that are done by every basketball player during practice. It is called a suicide for a reason. LOL. Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from DDLacy
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Aw, what a day for French! It seems nothing is going in his favor as he was looking forward to being with someone he admired but sometimes you're better off. Some friends will use you for their own satisfaction and with a friend like her, who needs an enemy? To add, Etienne is also a nuisance. Enjoyed the story and best wishes!

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Thank you so much for the nice review. Gretchen
Comment from Gladness
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A good little scene. Now I hope I have it straight. Albie and Etienne are father and son, right? Somehow I missed that in previous mentions of these friends. I thought it was husband and wife. How do you say "Etienne". If you could put a pronunciation in the author notes it would help people like me.
I like the way you show this girl's true colors. Hope Rory gets the message.
Anita

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Etienne and Albie are father and son. Et T N is how it is pronounced. Hope that helps. Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from padumachitta
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Hello. Those dang older high school gals. How many young ucks suffer as Rory...I just hope he learns before he is old enough to attract more of her attention.
Also, this kid is a good one...still, I hope Etienne can swim...

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
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Oh, no! What is it with boys and their diabolical plans? They are so careless when it comes to getting even or if they are just playing around. The teen years are so painful and everything that happens is earth shaking. This was a very good chapter Gretchen. xx Nancy

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from adewpearl
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excellent dialogue - I love the realistic depiction of Cassie, on the troll for a boy with a car to drive her to the party in style - I sure knew my share of girls just like that :-)
I like Rory's reaction to Etienne's comment about his father's drinking
Brooke

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2014

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
    Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen