Rainbows and Crayola Boxes
To Jess, my pre-teen granddaughter28 total reviews
Comment from krys123
I very much like the way you handled your script/poem in a way that made it not only interesting but it's very creative and inventive. You captured the illuminative essence Of poetry in a significant way of speaking to your child. Adding a script to your poem was very ingenious and created a response from the other person which was a child. Thank you for sharing in posting this marvelous work for everyone and may you have a good one always.
Alex
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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I very much like the way you handled your script/poem in a way that made it not only interesting but it's very creative and inventive. You captured the illuminative essence Of poetry in a significant way of speaking to your child. Adding a script to your poem was very ingenious and created a response from the other person which was a child. Thank you for sharing in posting this marvelous work for everyone and may you have a good one always.
Alex
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thank you for reading my work and for the awesome comments.
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You are so very welcome Amada
Comment from Jay Squires
What an interesting reversal of the idea of the rainbow colors in a crayon box!
And, in connection coloring another meaning of poetry is that "poetry opens borders--
there are no lines..."
Good statement, well written.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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What an interesting reversal of the idea of the rainbow colors in a crayon box!
And, in connection coloring another meaning of poetry is that "poetry opens borders--
there are no lines..."
Good statement, well written.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thank you for liking my idea of the rainbow in a crayon box! :-)
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You're welcome.
Comment from adewpearl
I like the use of dialogue
effective use of enjambment
excellent personification
good alliteration in colors from your crayon
and big brown
a delightfully upbeat look at the wonderful place of poetry in our lives :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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I like the use of dialogue
effective use of enjambment
excellent personification
good alliteration in colors from your crayon
and big brown
a delightfully upbeat look at the wonderful place of poetry in our lives :-) Brooke
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thank you Brooke for a very uplifting review.
Comment from healfromwithin
A nice idea behind the poem format.
A few considerations:
Use "quotation" marks around the first line, and make it dialogue.
The grandma's responses are dialogue, yet are not in quotations.
Re-examine the phrasing the grandma uses with the child, as well as the responses (females, borders, "pronto," )
I like the crayon box / rainbow analogy. I didn't see much use of descriptive words used for the rainbow, the little girl's excitement or the grandma's feelings. Try to incorporate some "power" words.
This could be a very strong entry once re-worked.
Cute, overall. Good luck with your contest entry.
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reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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A nice idea behind the poem format.
A few considerations:
Use "quotation" marks around the first line, and make it dialogue.
The grandma's responses are dialogue, yet are not in quotations.
Re-examine the phrasing the grandma uses with the child, as well as the responses (females, borders, "pronto," )
I like the crayon box / rainbow analogy. I didn't see much use of descriptive words used for the rainbow, the little girl's excitement or the grandma's feelings. Try to incorporate some "power" words.
This could be a very strong entry once re-worked.
Cute, overall. Good luck with your contest entry.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Thank you for reading my work. Looking for ways to improve.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello amada
how beautiful plus cute you tell us what poetry means to Grandma.
Made me smile, love the image of the box of crayons
Gert
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Hello amada
how beautiful plus cute you tell us what poetry means to Grandma.
Made me smile, love the image of the box of crayons
Gert
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thank you Gert for your very generous review.
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Hi amada you are welcome
Gert
Comment from royowen
I love the fact there is a discourse going on between grandparent and child, it is a comprehensive dialogue! If I was describing a worthwhile course in to help a child consider the ways of the world, I would do it this way! Well written, well done. Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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I love the fact there is a discourse going on between grandparent and child, it is a comprehensive dialogue! If I was describing a worthwhile course in to help a child consider the ways of the world, I would do it this way! Well written, well done. Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thank you Roy for reading my work and for the uplifting review.
Comment from rama devi
I love the unique choice to write this poem as a dialog. Very nice and highly original. The pacing is gentle and tender, like the scene. Nice extended metaphor with the crayons, etc.
Flying and dressing up--a nice depiction of poetry!
Whimsical and sweet post.
No nits.
As per your request for advice about the presentation, I do think the original old FS style might suit it best in terms of the picture, but the longer lines might not fit. However, I learned a trick with advanced editor: When you want to get the background to be wider, just put the curser on a blank line after the poem and tab across using the space bar until it is PAST the text's longest line.
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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I love the unique choice to write this poem as a dialog. Very nice and highly original. The pacing is gentle and tender, like the scene. Nice extended metaphor with the crayons, etc.
Flying and dressing up--a nice depiction of poetry!
Whimsical and sweet post.
No nits.
As per your request for advice about the presentation, I do think the original old FS style might suit it best in terms of the picture, but the longer lines might not fit. However, I learned a trick with advanced editor: When you want to get the background to be wider, just put the curser on a blank line after the poem and tab across using the space bar until it is PAST the text's longest line.
Love,
rd
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thank you for reading my work and commenting. Leave it like this after changing the image.
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:-))
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:-))
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Nice! :)
Comment from Charlene0513
It's a wonderful message to express to your child as her inquisitive eyes sparkle with delight just knowing that what she created will always make a difference in life.
Charlene
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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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It's a wonderful message to express to your child as her inquisitive eyes sparkle with delight just knowing that what she created will always make a difference in life.
Charlene
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thank you Charlene for the awesome comments to rainbows and crayon boxes.
