Sins of My Father
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Like a Hurricane"A coming of age story.
8 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
Lot's of pent up emotions here. Well written as usual and on top of all that NO SPAGS! yay!
Good work ad thanks again for a great read. SO relative to me at that ages as I said had a Mum but no Dad as you will see if you read my autobiography.
reply by the author on 28-May-2014
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Lot's of pent up emotions here. Well written as usual and on top of all that NO SPAGS! yay!
Good work ad thanks again for a great read. SO relative to me at that ages as I said had a Mum but no Dad as you will see if you read my autobiography.
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 28-May-2014
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Thank you so much for the great review and the nice words. Gretchen
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. I am trying to catch up with my reveiwing...I hate missing these chapters...I grew up in a drinking house hold...and well...I kinda know how this all feels....so I have a Rory space in my heart....
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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Hi. I am trying to catch up with my reveiwing...I hate missing these chapters...I grew up in a drinking house hold...and well...I kinda know how this all feels....so I have a Rory space in my heart....
Comment Written 24-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Bill Schott
There is some great dialog that always seems so natural and spontaneous. This is another opening of character interrelations that moves your story along. Nice reading.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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There is some great dialog that always seems so natural and spontaneous. This is another opening of character interrelations that moves your story along. Nice reading.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Gretchen.
Your chapter flows well, the dialogue between Rory and Albie is great. I like that Rory has somebody, an adult to confide in and isn't alone dealing with the changes in his father. Albie's reaction to the news of Dean's drinking is a great ending, and leaves the reader wanting more. Well done.
Bye
Rosalyne:)
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Hi, Gretchen.
Your chapter flows well, the dialogue between Rory and Albie is great. I like that Rory has somebody, an adult to confide in and isn't alone dealing with the changes in his father. Albie's reaction to the news of Dean's drinking is a great ending, and leaves the reader wanting more. Well done.
Bye
Rosalyne:)
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the nice comments and the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from Jay Squires
As an aside: BOY DID I EVER WIN BIGTIME WITH MY LAST CRIT OF YOUR WORK: 2 PUMPS + 15 CENTS FROM SOME LEPRECAUN DUDE! THANKS!
Now, down to business.
He's like this big solid teddy bear. He is easy to talk to and fun to be around, [This builds up the character so much. I like him!
"Like a hurricane on two legs." [WOW!]
But I need to know. I have to know what category hurricane I'm facing. [Again, you're coming up with such compelling introspective quotes.]
This is not in way of criticism, but just curiosity: why did you use his given name instead of "dad" with "He's Dean's best friend,"?
Whew! That last line begs for a quick new chapter.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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As an aside: BOY DID I EVER WIN BIGTIME WITH MY LAST CRIT OF YOUR WORK: 2 PUMPS + 15 CENTS FROM SOME LEPRECAUN DUDE! THANKS!
Now, down to business.
He's like this big solid teddy bear. He is easy to talk to and fun to be around, [This builds up the character so much. I like him!
"Like a hurricane on two legs." [WOW!]
But I need to know. I have to know what category hurricane I'm facing. [Again, you're coming up with such compelling introspective quotes.]
This is not in way of criticism, but just curiosity: why did you use his given name instead of "dad" with "He's Dean's best friend,"?
Whew! That last line begs for a quick new chapter.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Because Rory sees his dad as something bigger than just dad. Dean is a force to be reckoned with. It also gives him a little bit of disconnect from family and maybe evens up the ground. Rory loves his dad, but suddenly seeing him faltering makes Rory think of his dad as a man. Glad the review paid off for you, by the way.
The next chapter may have to wait for a couple of days. I missed work today because my son fractured his wrist. I'm taking advantage of the down time.
Thanks for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
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Take care of that boy. And no matter how stressed he makes you, stay away from the shine! LOL, have a great week.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Awww, Gretchen! How have I missed so much of this story? (I am SO far behind in EVERYTHING these days, but YOU are one of my favorite writers!!!)
I swear, promise, vow, reading your writing is always so rewarding - your touch always makes every story come alive. Your characters are so real, the descriptions so easy to picture, and the pacing is right on, every time. But it's the humanity, the warmth and 'soul' of the plot that always gets me. You are incredibly talented, and I honestly don't think you know it. :) Writing to you must be as natural as breathing (to use an old cliché).
It's only Monday, and I only have one six left, but it's yours.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Awww, Gretchen! How have I missed so much of this story? (I am SO far behind in EVERYTHING these days, but YOU are one of my favorite writers!!!)
I swear, promise, vow, reading your writing is always so rewarding - your touch always makes every story come alive. Your characters are so real, the descriptions so easy to picture, and the pacing is right on, every time. But it's the humanity, the warmth and 'soul' of the plot that always gets me. You are incredibly talented, and I honestly don't think you know it. :) Writing to you must be as natural as breathing (to use an old cliché).
It's only Monday, and I only have one six left, but it's yours.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review and ego boost, and the stars. Glad to hear from you and thanks for taking the time to review. Gretchen
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Very much my pleasure. :)
Comment from nancy_e_davis
So the news is out. Now what? Will they be able to help Dean before he succumbs to the lure of shine? Rory hopes Albie will know what to do.
How do you pronounce Etienne? Tiny? I have never heard that name before. xxx Nancy
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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So the news is out. Now what? Will they be able to help Dean before he succumbs to the lure of shine? Rory hopes Albie will know what to do.
How do you pronounce Etienne? Tiny? I have never heard that name before. xxx Nancy
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Etienne is French, pronounced Eh-tee-in. Dean is in a battle with himself. He is damned and determined to prove that he has changed. Thanks for reading and commenting. Gretchen
Comment from Gladness
The whole scene moves along well. I just wonder one line, "He's drinkin' 'shine again, Albie". I can't help but wonder why he worded it that way. Has there been more times or was it just that once? This line makes it sound like maybe it has happened more than once.
You give the reader a good picture of Albie, I could picture the guy throughout the conversation.
Anita
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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The whole scene moves along well. I just wonder one line, "He's drinkin' 'shine again, Albie". I can't help but wonder why he worded it that way. Has there been more times or was it just that once? This line makes it sound like maybe it has happened more than once.
You give the reader a good picture of Albie, I could picture the guy throughout the conversation.
Anita
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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He is referring to the fact that Dean used to be hooked on moonshine. Rory states in the narrative that he has never seen his father drink. But to clarify, moonshine was his dad's drink of choice. Thanks for the wonderful review. Gretchen
