Alone
free verse47 total reviews
Comment from Njorgensen
This is a very sad piece about loneliness. It sounds as if the story is about a woman enduring the end of a marriage, which can feel like a death in the family. Whatever the intent, it conveys a pounding emotion to something profoundly painful. Excellent use of a minimal of lines.
Njorgensen
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
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This is a very sad piece about loneliness. It sounds as if the story is about a woman enduring the end of a marriage, which can feel like a death in the family. Whatever the intent, it conveys a pounding emotion to something profoundly painful. Excellent use of a minimal of lines.
Njorgensen
Comment Written 24-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
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Thanks for the great review:)
Comment from Rainbowsofhappiness
I wish I had a six star rating left for this fabulous free verse but I don't! Here are six virtual stars from me! ****** I am a big fan of free verse especially this introspective type! I love how the writer describes loneliness by describing the bare walls devoid of personal items and refers to the home as a house as if detaching herself from all meaning so as to have no emotional attachment to it. The reader can truly pick up on the tone of loneliness, sadness, and isolation that is prevalent throughout this poem. I love the way the writer broke this poem up into two separate stanzas increasing the intensity behind the emotionally charged words as the stanzas transition between each other. The final lines of this poem truly drive home the sense of hopelessness and desolation felt by the character in the poem when the writer says "but I no longer live." This haunting line resonates strongly with the reader who envisions the level of despair the character has reached with these final words. The photo devoid of color depicting a woman sitting in a room with bare walls enhances the writer's words perfectly as does the dull, lifeless colored background. Brilliant presentation! The free verse flows well with each line building off the one prior until the final few climactic words are revealed. The meter is solid and runs consistently throughout even though it is free verse there is a shape to this piece. The imagery conveyed through the lines describing how the character in the poem is distancing herself from her house by removing all objects that held meaning for her gives the reader a vivid picture of what the stark walls and house lacking identifying personal possessions must look like. Well written and constructed to evoke intense emotional responses from readers using emotionally charged word choices.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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I wish I had a six star rating left for this fabulous free verse but I don't! Here are six virtual stars from me! ****** I am a big fan of free verse especially this introspective type! I love how the writer describes loneliness by describing the bare walls devoid of personal items and refers to the home as a house as if detaching herself from all meaning so as to have no emotional attachment to it. The reader can truly pick up on the tone of loneliness, sadness, and isolation that is prevalent throughout this poem. I love the way the writer broke this poem up into two separate stanzas increasing the intensity behind the emotionally charged words as the stanzas transition between each other. The final lines of this poem truly drive home the sense of hopelessness and desolation felt by the character in the poem when the writer says "but I no longer live." This haunting line resonates strongly with the reader who envisions the level of despair the character has reached with these final words. The photo devoid of color depicting a woman sitting in a room with bare walls enhances the writer's words perfectly as does the dull, lifeless colored background. Brilliant presentation! The free verse flows well with each line building off the one prior until the final few climactic words are revealed. The meter is solid and runs consistently throughout even though it is free verse there is a shape to this piece. The imagery conveyed through the lines describing how the character in the poem is distancing herself from her house by removing all objects that held meaning for her gives the reader a vivid picture of what the stark walls and house lacking identifying personal possessions must look like. Well written and constructed to evoke intense emotional responses from readers using emotionally charged word choices.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the awesome review and the virtual six:)
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You are most welcome! It was an absolutely amazing abstractesque poem! I loved it! :-)
Comment from L.M.Mullins
And people think I write a sad poem. Wonderful free verse. Reads beautifully from start to finish. Fantastic closing verse to complete the emotion. Great artwork.
L.M.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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And people think I write a sad poem. Wonderful free verse. Reads beautifully from start to finish. Fantastic closing verse to complete the emotion. Great artwork.
L.M.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the great review and wonderful gift of the six!
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Teaser,
I can see why you were awarded first prize
You said so much in just 15 lines.
Telling us how it ells when All happy memories of home are earsed.
Gert
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Hello Teaser,
I can see why you were awarded first prize
You said so much in just 15 lines.
Telling us how it ells when All happy memories of home are earsed.
Gert
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Thanks Gert for the great review and congrats on the win:)
Comment from ravenblack
Stark and bleak as a poem about that most wretched state, loneliness, should be. Just a few suggestions. I would drop memory and just have "stripped of photos" as they are conveyed as memories with souvenirs. I would also split " but I no longer/live" into its own stanza.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Stark and bleak as a poem about that most wretched state, loneliness, should be. Just a few suggestions. I would drop memory and just have "stripped of photos" as they are conveyed as memories with souvenirs. I would also split " but I no longer/live" into its own stanza.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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THanks for the great review and suggestions - I especially liked the last suggestion.
Comment from Petriesan
ouch
just passing time waiting for death. . . .it has already occurred, I think. . .
Well done story of loss of , well, everything
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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ouch
just passing time waiting for death. . . .it has already occurred, I think. . .
Well done story of loss of , well, everything
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much for the awesome six star review. What a wonderful gift today:)
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is beautifully presented
Congratulations on your contest win :-)
excellent use of enjambment to keep thoughts flowing from line to line
good alliteration in sit and stare
what a sad, sad portrait of this lonely person, simply living out her days to mark time until death
Brooke
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Your poem is beautifully presented
Congratulations on your contest win :-)
excellent use of enjambment to keep thoughts flowing from line to line
good alliteration in sit and stare
what a sad, sad portrait of this lonely person, simply living out her days to mark time until death
Brooke
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Thank you Brooke for the great review and congrats on the win:)
Comment from Visheshta Dahiya
beautiful poem..!!!
no doubt it deserved to be the winner. congrats for that.
the words are really beautiful. the picture is brought to life by the words. the flow is great.
best wishes
Visheshta
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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beautiful poem..!!!
no doubt it deserved to be the winner. congrats for that.
the words are really beautiful. the picture is brought to life by the words. the flow is great.
best wishes
Visheshta
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the great review and congrats on the win:)
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welcome :)
Comment from RGstar
Again, loneliness that rears its ugly head in all shapes and forms. You could have the world and still be lonely, have nothing and still the same outcome.
Your poem paints a picture of melancholy and reality.
Well done for this win.
Solitude indeed.
Best wishes,
RG
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Again, loneliness that rears its ugly head in all shapes and forms. You could have the world and still be lonely, have nothing and still the same outcome.
Your poem paints a picture of melancholy and reality.
Well done for this win.
Solitude indeed.
Best wishes,
RG
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Thank you RG for the great review and congrats on the win:)
Comment from royowen
A terribly sad poem that seems to be looking back rather than looking forward, it's true that a house is not a home if there is no life in those that live! You will stumble if you eyes only look back! A well written. Descriptive narrative, it is a worthy entry in this contest. Well done, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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A terribly sad poem that seems to be looking back rather than looking forward, it's true that a house is not a home if there is no life in those that live! You will stumble if you eyes only look back! A well written. Descriptive narrative, it is a worthy entry in this contest. Well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Thank you Roy for the great review:)
