Cobwebs in My Attic
Flash Fiction 500 words21 total reviews
Comment from Debra White
Hi Rod :) Congratulations on winning this prompt. I can see why you did! A wonderful little story with 2 likeable characters, true to life dialogue and a little bit of a lesson from us all to learn from. My mind has cobwebs forming on it, maybe tomorrow I'll take up something new and kick-start the grey matter!
Thank you for giving me an enjoyable read...
Kindest regards, Debra :)
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Hi Rod :) Congratulations on winning this prompt. I can see why you did! A wonderful little story with 2 likeable characters, true to life dialogue and a little bit of a lesson from us all to learn from. My mind has cobwebs forming on it, maybe tomorrow I'll take up something new and kick-start the grey matter!
Thank you for giving me an enjoyable read...
Kindest regards, Debra :)
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Thank you, Debra, for reading this story and your kind remarks. I am delighted you liked the characters and found the message meaningful. Rod
Comment from Adri7enne
Great little story, with a good lesson. You handled the dialogue very well. It's sensitive and warm. We've all had moments where we wondered if we were still as sharp as ever. LOL! I enjoyed the read, author. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Great little story, with a good lesson. You handled the dialogue very well. It's sensitive and warm. We've all had moments where we wondered if we were still as sharp as ever. LOL! I enjoyed the read, author. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much for sharing my story and your kind praise. RodG
Comment from krowboom
Excellent story, poignant and heart felt, portraying a fear many of us have and some will go through for real. This is one of the better stories I've seen on this website. Very good pacing and a great ending. Congratulations on a great job.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Excellent story, poignant and heart felt, portraying a fear many of us have and some will go through for real. This is one of the better stories I've seen on this website. Very good pacing and a great ending. Congratulations on a great job.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Thanks, krowboom, for this great review.
Comment from Bill Schott
The thing I like best about this story is the truth about the continual use of our minds as we age. It's that constant challenge that keeps it serving us. Your dialog was believable and humorous. Nice write.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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The thing I like best about this story is the truth about the continual use of our minds as we age. It's that constant challenge that keeps it serving us. Your dialog was believable and humorous. Nice write.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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I am delighted you enjoyed the story, Bill. Thanks for sharing and your kind praise. Rod
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the picture. I love the poem. The wife is right. Use it or lose it. The brain needs exercise just like the rest of the body. It gets lazy and will not work for the ordinary things. She was right about another thing. Call your sister. It has more meaning. Great work.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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I love the picture. I love the poem. The wife is right. Use it or lose it. The brain needs exercise just like the rest of the body. It gets lazy and will not work for the ordinary things. She was right about another thing. Call your sister. It has more meaning. Great work.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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I am so pleased you liked both the story and the picture, nelliesellie. I really appreciate your kind words. Rod
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent dialogue - I can hear his anxious concerns over his bouts with forgetfulness and I can feel her reassuring tone as she works to convince him he is not in the early stages of dementia - I love how she distinguishes between the two and reminds him of his keen-witted mother :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Excellent dialogue - I can hear his anxious concerns over his bouts with forgetfulness and I can feel her reassuring tone as she works to convince him he is not in the early stages of dementia - I love how she distinguishes between the two and reminds him of his keen-witted mother :-) Brooke
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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I am delighted the dialog appealed to you and my message came across clearly. Thanks for sharing, Brooke.
Comment from Nosha17
Interesting story about the problems attached with aging. Learning a new fact every day is a good way of clearing the cobwebs, like you wrote. You made good use of language in the narrative and descriptions and your dialogue was sharp. Enjoyable read and good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Interesting story about the problems attached with aging. Learning a new fact every day is a good way of clearing the cobwebs, like you wrote. You made good use of language in the narrative and descriptions and your dialogue was sharp. Enjoyable read and good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Interesting you should mention learning a fact a day as a friend of mine who's in his 70s says this is how he keeps his mind active. He's become an encyclopedia of info.
Thanks for sharing my story, Faye, and your best wishes.
Comment from Dean Kuch
An uplifting and excellent story about one spouse alleviating the fears of another concerning his fear of succumbing to dementia and/or Alzheimer's Disease. It is something many who are growing older cope with, I think. Especially if they have witnessed those in their own families suffering from the cruel effects of these afflictions.
It was well written and felt genuine, and that's always a huge plus.
Well done, and I wish you the best of luck in the prompt.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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An uplifting and excellent story about one spouse alleviating the fears of another concerning his fear of succumbing to dementia and/or Alzheimer's Disease. It is something many who are growing older cope with, I think. Especially if they have witnessed those in their own families suffering from the cruel effects of these afflictions.
It was well written and felt genuine, and that's always a huge plus.
Well done, and I wish you the best of luck in the prompt.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thank you, Dean. I truly appreciate your insight here and your kind praise. So pleased you enjoyed the story.
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You're very welcome.
Comment from sibhus
Researchers say that the mind is like a muscle and if you don't use it it becomes weak and flabby. Good way to get that across through you story. Mom's spring may be just the thing . Good story, and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Researchers say that the mind is like a muscle and if you don't use it it becomes weak and flabby. Good way to get that across through you story. Mom's spring may be just the thing . Good story, and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Yes, that muscle can easily atrophy like all others if it's not used. Thank you for sharing my story.
Comment from Twilightspire
This is a charming little flash fiction. Every piece of the story is there, a clear beginning, middle and end. Conflict and resolution.
That, in my opinion, is the hardest type of writing ever. Doing all of that with very little words. I really respect that kind of talent.
I love the dialogue. It both entertains and goes along way into shedding light on the characters. Every detail you put into the story was used perfectly. The type of flowers, an Easter card. The selling point of any story are these small specifics that really sell a story and you did a stellar job pointing them out.
Good luck with the contest.
-T.J.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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This is a charming little flash fiction. Every piece of the story is there, a clear beginning, middle and end. Conflict and resolution.
That, in my opinion, is the hardest type of writing ever. Doing all of that with very little words. I really respect that kind of talent.
I love the dialogue. It both entertains and goes along way into shedding light on the characters. Every detail you put into the story was used perfectly. The type of flowers, an Easter card. The selling point of any story are these small specifics that really sell a story and you did a stellar job pointing them out.
Good luck with the contest.
-T.J.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, T.J. for your close reading. the kind praise, and those best wishes.
