Lighthouse-(short poem)
ships warning at night4 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
Your chosen image is dynamic and I think your choice of words echo the picture. However, where the poem falls down, in my opinion, is where you have placed the line breaks. I think you have the start of a really good poem if you rework structure and content for a better impact.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Your chosen image is dynamic and I think your choice of words echo the picture. However, where the poem falls down, in my opinion, is where you have placed the line breaks. I think you have the start of a really good poem if you rework structure and content for a better impact.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thank you-went on example of poem given which was incorrect.
Comment from Pegcook
I read the poem, then looked at the lighthouse, looked at the design made by the way the words are arranged and saw the shape of a boat in the words. Really creative!
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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I read the poem, then looked at the lighthouse, looked at the design made by the way the words are arranged and saw the shape of a boat in the words. Really creative!
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thank you
Comment from Glasstruth
Overall presentation with picture and poem is just marvelous. Like how you structured your lines. There is one oddity: "warns ships to keep safe-danger ahead" it should read, "warns ships to keep safe - danger ahead." The spacing can change the meaning of what you're writing. Thanks for sharing. Les
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Overall presentation with picture and poem is just marvelous. Like how you structured your lines. There is one oddity: "warns ships to keep safe-danger ahead" it should read, "warns ships to keep safe - danger ahead." The spacing can change the meaning of what you're writing. Thanks for sharing. Les
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thank you
Comment from dinobi
A fairly written poem...the message was simple but the format was flat...as the whole piece could have better been nicely put up in 4 lines ...as a better and more compact poetry...all the same a fair effort to be improved upon..
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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A fairly written poem...the message was simple but the format was flat...as the whole piece could have better been nicely put up in 4 lines ...as a better and more compact poetry...all the same a fair effort to be improved upon..
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thanks
