She Changed my Life
This friend of mine truly changed me14 total reviews
Comment from visionary1234
What an amazing story of great suffering and great triumph. Truly an inspiration. That being said, however, there are quite a few minor editing changes which need some attention. This is truly a story worth putting in its very best light. Please let me know if you re-work it. I'd be more than happy to re-read and re-rate, okay?
a power- couple who lived a power- life - spacing errors with the dashes first of all, but I'd suggest putting the 'power' terms in quotation marks to clarify - eg a 'power-couple' who lived a 'power-life' ... or even ... a 'power' couple who lived a 'power' life. You could also use italics instead of quotation marks if you preferred.
in her own ability to carry-on. (to carry on - separate words, no hyphen)
It was then,(delete comma) that my husband,(delete comma) was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer
His long-time high school girlfriend had no desire to be a nurse, though they had had an on-going affair for years. OK - THIS SENTENCE TOOK US BY SURPRISE AND NEEDS SOME EXPLANATION AS TO WHY YOU WERE LIVING WITH SOMEONE WHO WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR??? YOU CAN'T JUST 'DROP' THIS ONE ON US WITHOUT FOLLOWING UP
months of debilitating (and hurtful) pain (DELETE 'AND HURTFUL' - PAIN IS HURTFUL - WE KNOW THAT - NO NEED TO SAY THE SAME THING TWICE)
Celia received notice from France, (DELETE COMMA)that her daughter was missing
she was trying to comfort her son, and all (THOSE PEOPLE) around her (NEED TO BE SPECIFIC AS TO WHOM SHE WAS COMFORTING - OTHERWISE IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE WAS COMFORTING THE AIR)
Best wishes
Sharyn
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
   |
What an amazing story of great suffering and great triumph. Truly an inspiration. That being said, however, there are quite a few minor editing changes which need some attention. This is truly a story worth putting in its very best light. Please let me know if you re-work it. I'd be more than happy to re-read and re-rate, okay?
a power- couple who lived a power- life - spacing errors with the dashes first of all, but I'd suggest putting the 'power' terms in quotation marks to clarify - eg a 'power-couple' who lived a 'power-life' ... or even ... a 'power' couple who lived a 'power' life. You could also use italics instead of quotation marks if you preferred.
in her own ability to carry-on. (to carry on - separate words, no hyphen)
It was then,(delete comma) that my husband,(delete comma) was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer
His long-time high school girlfriend had no desire to be a nurse, though they had had an on-going affair for years. OK - THIS SENTENCE TOOK US BY SURPRISE AND NEEDS SOME EXPLANATION AS TO WHY YOU WERE LIVING WITH SOMEONE WHO WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR??? YOU CAN'T JUST 'DROP' THIS ONE ON US WITHOUT FOLLOWING UP
months of debilitating (and hurtful) pain (DELETE 'AND HURTFUL' - PAIN IS HURTFUL - WE KNOW THAT - NO NEED TO SAY THE SAME THING TWICE)
Celia received notice from France, (DELETE COMMA)that her daughter was missing
she was trying to comfort her son, and all (THOSE PEOPLE) around her (NEED TO BE SPECIFIC AS TO WHOM SHE WAS COMFORTING - OTHERWISE IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE WAS COMFORTING THE AIR)
Best wishes
Sharyn
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
Comment from bob cullen
This is a great and truly inspirational write. Your life has indeed been blessed in having a friend like Celia.
People like her amaze me, their faith is a lesson for all of us.
I wish you all well in your future
|
This is a great and truly inspirational write. Your life has indeed been blessed in having a friend like Celia.
People like her amaze me, their faith is a lesson for all of us.
I wish you all well in your future
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
Comment from mfowler
I watched my brother-in-law transform from a self righteous, arrogant man to a loving, resilient and caring nurse during the nine months of pain and deteriorisation as my sister died from cancer. Your friend's and your stories are similar in terms of the patients you've both nursed. It makes all of the difference if you know or have seen people cope with bravery and dignity in the face of loss. Your Celia sounds exactly like that, and much more. This is an inspiring account of a truly inspiring person. It's funny how gold is shaped in the fire of life.
|
I watched my brother-in-law transform from a self righteous, arrogant man to a loving, resilient and caring nurse during the nine months of pain and deteriorisation as my sister died from cancer. Your friend's and your stories are similar in terms of the patients you've both nursed. It makes all of the difference if you know or have seen people cope with bravery and dignity in the face of loss. Your Celia sounds exactly like that, and much more. This is an inspiring account of a truly inspiring person. It's funny how gold is shaped in the fire of life.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
Comment from El Coyote
Your story stirs so many feelings and emotions. I truly believe that such losses have the potential to be totally devastating and debilitating without the spirit that lives within. Thank you for sharing your story. I think it provides the opportunity for others to be changed.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
Your story stirs so many feelings and emotions. I truly believe that such losses have the potential to be totally devastating and debilitating without the spirit that lives within. Thank you for sharing your story. I think it provides the opportunity for others to be changed.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
