Toilet Training
a silly, but apt metaphor12 total reviews
Comment from humpwhistle
I'm sorry, Ingrid, but I cannot follow this logic.
When you make such a provocative statement as your first line, shouldn't you clue your audience into what you're talking about?
Which storytellers. What toilet?
And you end up at the four (or in your case 5) pillars.
I have no idea how you got there.
Peace, Lee
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I'm sorry, Ingrid, but I cannot follow this logic.
When you make such a provocative statement as your first line, shouldn't you clue your audience into what you're talking about?
Which storytellers. What toilet?
And you end up at the four (or in your case 5) pillars.
I have no idea how you got there.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
Comment from Pegcook
Thank you for breaking down writing into 5 necessary components, setting, character, conflict, crises and resolution. I was kind of sure there was something a writer could use to construct a story, and now, thanks to you, I know what that is! Thank you again!
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thank you for breaking down writing into 5 necessary components, setting, character, conflict, crises and resolution. I was kind of sure there was something a writer could use to construct a story, and now, thanks to you, I know what that is! Thank you again!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Those are you touch-stones, the anchors of your story. I'm very glad I was able to help/
Comment from winespiller
I think theres an actuall moment when they get tired of being misunderstood. you see that look in their eyes like~IM SERIOUS DAMMIT!!
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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I think theres an actuall moment when they get tired of being misunderstood. you see that look in their eyes like~IM SERIOUS DAMMIT!!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Both in writers and children, the steps to rising to another level consist of those epiphanies that we are the ones that need to change and evolve. Thanks for the read.
Comment from JavaJunkie
This very well written with a good strong metaphor. It reminds me of something I read years ago in Stephen King's book "On Writing": "kill your darlings". I have had a hard time over the years flushing my darlings, those little elements of the story that I love, that are probably self-indulgent, and therefore crap that needs to be flushed. You have so clearly stated an important part of the writing process...you get my vote:)
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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This very well written with a good strong metaphor. It reminds me of something I read years ago in Stephen King's book "On Writing": "kill your darlings". I have had a hard time over the years flushing my darlings, those little elements of the story that I love, that are probably self-indulgent, and therefore crap that needs to be flushed. You have so clearly stated an important part of the writing process...you get my vote:)
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Wow, I thank you both for the glowing stars and the vote. It is horrid, almost a choking feeling when someone suggests those darlings go away--especially adverbs that end in LY--quietly, sadly, reluctantly and even constantly--especially, but those words if overused are like fingers on a chalk board to most editors.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Yeah, author Stephen King said, and I quote, "Everyone has a back story, and most of it isn't all that interesting." In poetry, it's been said that shorter is better, too. It's a lot like having a conversation with someone. If you're often told, "Could you just get to the point?!", or asked outright what your is point all together, then you probably shouldn't write that way.
Well done, and good luck to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Yeah, author Stephen King said, and I quote, "Everyone has a back story, and most of it isn't all that interesting." In poetry, it's been said that shorter is better, too. It's a lot like having a conversation with someone. If you're often told, "Could you just get to the point?!", or asked outright what your is point all together, then you probably shouldn't write that way.
Well done, and good luck to you in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much. Kind words from an author I admire.
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You very welcome, it was my pleasure.
Comment from visionary1234
If only it were that easy! I do like your point:
For the most part, it's a result of burying our instincts, serving time in the educational system, a penchant to conform and a distrust of our right to blossom. In many cases, it's an example of how a little knowledge can corrupt a perfectly good story.
Clear, concise prose. A good entry!
:)Sharyn
I have a 17 year old son, and swear to God I could go in and murder his teachers! (Pardon me if I share your soap box, okay?)
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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If only it were that easy! I do like your point:
For the most part, it's a result of burying our instincts, serving time in the educational system, a penchant to conform and a distrust of our right to blossom. In many cases, it's an example of how a little knowledge can corrupt a perfectly good story.
Clear, concise prose. A good entry!
:)Sharyn
I have a 17 year old son, and swear to God I could go in and murder his teachers! (Pardon me if I share your soap box, okay?)
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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The little boy went first day of school
He got some crayons and started to draw
He put colors all over the paper
For colors was what he saw
And the teacher said.. What you doin' young man
I'm paintin' flowers he said
She said,
It's not the time for art young man
And anyway flowers are green and red
There's a time for everything young man
And a way it should be done
You've got to show concern for everyone else
For you're not the only one
And she said
Flowers are red young man
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen
But the little boy said
There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one
Well the teacher said
You're sassy
There's ways that things should be
And you'll paint flowers the way they are
So repeat after me
And she said
Flowers are red young man
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen
But the little boy said
There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one
The teacher put him in a corner
She said
It's for your own good
And you won't come out 'til you get it right
And all responding like you should
Well finally he got lonely
Frightened thoughts filled his head
And he went up to the teacher
And this is what he said, and he said
Flowers are red, green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen
Time went by like it always does
And they moved to another town
And the little boy went to another school
And this is what he found
The teacher there was smilin'
She said
Painting should be fun
And there are so many colors in a flower
So let's use every one
But that little boy painted flowers
In neat rows of green and red
And when the teacher asked him why
This is what he said
And he said
Here are the lyrics to a Harry Chapin song you may remember that pretty much mirrors what I think happens to some people. I quoted this to Fowler, a teacher from down under who went to the trouble to look it up. I think you'd probably agree with theses sentiments.
Flowers are red, green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen.
Comment from w.j.debi
You make it sound so simple. Just remember those five things and add a dash of passion in the telling and it should work. Excellent metaphor. Just do it!
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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You make it sound so simple. Just remember those five things and add a dash of passion in the telling and it should work. Excellent metaphor. Just do it!
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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One of the things that I can give FS full credit for is that it not only encourages me to write, it becomes addictive. As a result of so much writing, some weeks daily until I get into a snit about something--I should say LOL, except it's true, then I lay off for a while and send work out to other sources, but daily writing really does make it easier and easier. I have friends who tell me that I piss them off because I can write on demand, but it wasn't always so.
Try to have lower expectations of yourself--really--just sit sown and write as often as you can. If you can't think of a thing to say, describe your lunch in orgasmic detail, write a letter--unsent, of course, to the person you wish you could turn into a purple pulpy mess and describe every single wound you inflict. If nothing else you'll start laughing and promise yourself you'll order a better lunch tomorrow.
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What a wonderful and encouraging reply. Thank you for the wise encouragement.
Comment from mfowler
Your summary message "Setting, character, conflict, crises and resolution--that's it." is what I've been flogging for years to my students. It's tried and true, but I guess I'd have to agree with you about how we sometimes stifle the creativity with an over-emphasis on adverbs and adjectives etc. Yet, I'm not sure it's what we teach them, as much as it is the fear of failure about what we teach them. There are other parallels, such as in art, where the free spirit of creativity is slowly socialised (comparison to peers) and taught out of them by about the age of 12. Only the determined, the confident, and the indvivdual thinkers seem to survive the 'straining of their free minds'. I look to the people on FS as an interesting example of how, when many get older, they rediscover that creative urge within them eg writing, painting, sculpting. I'm sorry to have monopolised this review with my own thoughts, but your fine essay got me thinking. I suppose that is greatest compliment I can give you; you provoked thought about your premise. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Your summary message "Setting, character, conflict, crises and resolution--that's it." is what I've been flogging for years to my students. It's tried and true, but I guess I'd have to agree with you about how we sometimes stifle the creativity with an over-emphasis on adverbs and adjectives etc. Yet, I'm not sure it's what we teach them, as much as it is the fear of failure about what we teach them. There are other parallels, such as in art, where the free spirit of creativity is slowly socialised (comparison to peers) and taught out of them by about the age of 12. Only the determined, the confident, and the indvivdual thinkers seem to survive the 'straining of their free minds'. I look to the people on FS as an interesting example of how, when many get older, they rediscover that creative urge within them eg writing, painting, sculpting. I'm sorry to have monopolised this review with my own thoughts, but your fine essay got me thinking. I suppose that is greatest compliment I can give you; you provoked thought about your premise. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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I'm highly complimented by you sharing a reaction to my story and where the thought took you.
There's a rather obscure song by Harry Chapin and I wish I could remember the title, but it was about a child excited about going to school for the first time and being told to paint the flowers a certain colour and that his highly creative work was deemed incorrect until he lost all love for drawing pictures and when encouraged by a more liberal teacher along the way he refused...the chorus is something like that's the way it always has been and always will. What grades do you teach? Oh, so sorry, now you've got me sidetracked before I was courteous enough to thank you for reading and reviewing---THANKS.
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You got me searching this time. It's called "Flowers are Red". Good connection to ur comments. I'm in my final year of teaching. I teach Yr 7 this year, but I have taught every year from Yr 1-11 in some major or minor capacity. In recent years I've become a bit of a 10-14 year old styled teacher. The things you and I commented on have always fascinated me as an educator, and father.
The little boy went first day of school
He got some crayons and started to draw
He put colors all over the paper
For colors was what he saw
And the teacher said.. What you doin' young man
I'm paintin' flowers he said
She said,
It's not the time for art young man
And anyway flowers are green and red
There's a time for everything young man
And a way it should be done
You've got to show concern for everyone else
For you're not the only one
And she said
Flowers are red young man
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen
But the little boy said
There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one
Well the teacher said
You're sassy
There's ways that things should be
And you'll paint flowers the way they are
So repeat after me
And she said
Flowers are red young man
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen
But the little boy said
There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one
The teacher put him in a corner
She said
It's for your own good
And you won't come out 'til you get it right
And all responding like you should
Well finally he got lonely
Frightened thoughts filled his head
And he went up to the teacher
And this is what he said, and he said
Flowers are red, green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen
Time went by like it always does
And they moved to another town
And the little boy went to another school
And this is what he found
The teacher there was smilin'
She said
Painting should be fun
And there are so many colors in a flower
So let's use every one
But that little boy painted flowers
In neat rows of green and red
And when the teacher asked him why
This is what he said
And he said
Flowers are red, green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen.
Writer/s: CHAPIN, HARRY F.
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My darling man, up here--way up here in Canada, in the middle of the night, I sang every verse and could hear Harry pausing and talking some of the lines. What a beautiful gift and BIG smile. Thanks for playing and Happy Easter. ingrid
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
Consider: Are all toddlers/writers boys and men?
"... that THEY must keep THEIR audience engaged.
Other than that, I agree with the author's general sentiments and love the juxtaposition created between toilet training and writing. Well done. Excuse me but 'nature' calls.
Regards:
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Consider: Are all toddlers/writers boys and men?
"... that THEY must keep THEIR audience engaged.
Other than that, I agree with the author's general sentiments and love the juxtaposition created between toilet training and writing. Well done. Excuse me but 'nature' calls.
Regards:
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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It is generally acceptable, even in these modern times, to use the masculine pronoun, but of course, writers come in every gender, tall and short. Thanks for the read.
Comment from JM
What an unusual yet interesting essay. You have a catchy title. Our grandson is just learning how to use the toilet and it has been an adventure. I too am just shedding light on my writing and how I "got there" has been exciting. I especially like how you ended your essay because those ARE THE STEPS to a good "write".
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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What an unusual yet interesting essay. You have a catchy title. Our grandson is just learning how to use the toilet and it has been an adventure. I too am just shedding light on my writing and how I "got there" has been exciting. I especially like how you ended your essay because those ARE THE STEPS to a good "write".
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Really, that's all it takes, but so many writers lose their way and juggle what they know to be true with the lessons and courses they take. Thank you very much for all the dazzling stars.
