National Poetry Month
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Myself, I Plan to Remain"Thirty poems in Thirty Days
7 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Woman, you are exhibiting the most marvelous use of language in this book of poetry! This is another simply outstanding poem, in my opinion!
Sublime!!! ********************!!!
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Woman, you are exhibiting the most marvelous use of language in this book of poetry! This is another simply outstanding poem, in my opinion!
Sublime!!! ********************!!!
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Debbie,
Bravo... change through manipulation is an attempt to gain power over a supposed lover/friend.
I love this flighty little rebuttal to change... to be one's own person with individual power... this is a person I would certainly be attracted too... for I would never desire to change someone into a clone of me.
Powerful set of quatrains Debbie telling it how it should be told.
With our thoughts we create,
the rules to self love,
James xx
******Stars!!!!!!
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Hi Debbie,
Bravo... change through manipulation is an attempt to gain power over a supposed lover/friend.
I love this flighty little rebuttal to change... to be one's own person with individual power... this is a person I would certainly be attracted too... for I would never desire to change someone into a clone of me.
Powerful set of quatrains Debbie telling it how it should be told.
With our thoughts we create,
the rules to self love,
James xx
******Stars!!!!!!
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
Comment from mumsyone
A life spent searching for
your view of perfection
will result in a life
of lonely rejection.
So true. We can't be what others want us to be. We have to be ourselves.
Hugs,
Lois
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A life spent searching for
your view of perfection
will result in a life
of lonely rejection.
So true. We can't be what others want us to be. We have to be ourselves.
Hugs,
Lois
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
Comment from chicken scratch love
This is a wonderful poem. There may have been some added words that kinda threw off the flow and meter quite a bit though. Two stanzas were off kilter as far as the pattern you were (for the most part) staying consistent with. Stanzas 4 and 7...Your rhyme pattern was ABCB, but in those particular stanzas (4 & 7), because of the added words and syllables, your lines seemed to stray from this and instantly interrupted the flow. Great poem though...would love to see this corrected, but it is merely MY opinion.Thanks for the share!
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This is a wonderful poem. There may have been some added words that kinda threw off the flow and meter quite a bit though. Two stanzas were off kilter as far as the pattern you were (for the most part) staying consistent with. Stanzas 4 and 7...Your rhyme pattern was ABCB, but in those particular stanzas (4 & 7), because of the added words and syllables, your lines seemed to stray from this and instantly interrupted the flow. Great poem though...would love to see this corrected, but it is merely MY opinion.Thanks for the share!
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
Comment from Jay Squires
I really like this poem, Debbie! I feel like you're talking directly to me (and, in many respects, about me).
A couple of things:
If you're seeking someone
perfect you best beware,
[without affecting the metor or rhyme and being grammatically correct, consider: If you're seeking someone/ perfect you'd better beware]
I'll not be offended,
it is not my nature.
I would prefer finding
a lover, more mature.
[LOL, sarcasm is, of course, a kind of offence]
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I really like this poem, Debbie! I feel like you're talking directly to me (and, in many respects, about me).
A couple of things:
If you're seeking someone
perfect you best beware,
[without affecting the metor or rhyme and being grammatically correct, consider: If you're seeking someone/ perfect you'd better beware]
I'll not be offended,
it is not my nature.
I would prefer finding
a lover, more mature.
[LOL, sarcasm is, of course, a kind of offence]
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
Comment from mermaids
Excellent rhyming of words and I like the analogy of your life to a book that is not yet finished. But not ready for the shelf is a wonderful line that is encouraging and uplifting. Many can relate to your words.
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Excellent rhyming of words and I like the analogy of your life to a book that is not yet finished. But not ready for the shelf is a wonderful line that is encouraging and uplifting. Many can relate to your words.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
Comment from Nosha17
I agree our lives are just like a book, all the experiences and learning is gathered as the book progresses. We become wiser as we age. You have made good use of rhyme and language and it flowed well. Enjoyable read. Faye
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I agree our lives are just like a book, all the experiences and learning is gathered as the book progresses. We become wiser as we age. You have made good use of rhyme and language and it flowed well. Enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
