Wrinkles
coming home ... to say goodbye ...92 total reviews
Comment from chasennov
Wrinkles.' I liked this poem you have created here. Mothers are sticklers for neatness and tidiness as far as children are concerned. I think it is mostly to teach the kids good manners. Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Wrinkles.' I liked this poem you have created here. Mothers are sticklers for neatness and tidiness as far as children are concerned. I think it is mostly to teach the kids good manners. Well done.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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thx so much chas! :)S
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You are most welcome, Sharyn.
Comment from royowen
This is a brilliant poem! I can remember when we visited relatives with my parents years ago and I can the furniture dating back to another time, now I'm older maybe our grandchildren will experience much of this experience! Beautiful descriptive narrative! Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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This is a brilliant poem! I can remember when we visited relatives with my parents years ago and I can the furniture dating back to another time, now I'm older maybe our grandchildren will experience much of this experience! Beautiful descriptive narrative! Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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thx so much Roy! :)Sharyn
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I see this as a personal poem, knowing that you have been to see your mother. It is funny how we look back and see the coldness of perfection. It could not have been a happy home, your descriptions are so bleak and despairing. Now your mother is in a twilight zone, not worried about those 'wrinkles' sad that it took a life time to realise that. I am really sorry that someone with such a colourful nature was not as appreciated as you should have been. Where do you get it from, your father? Big hugs, Sharyn, and a Happy Easter. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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I see this as a personal poem, knowing that you have been to see your mother. It is funny how we look back and see the coldness of perfection. It could not have been a happy home, your descriptions are so bleak and despairing. Now your mother is in a twilight zone, not worried about those 'wrinkles' sad that it took a life time to realise that. I am really sorry that someone with such a colourful nature was not as appreciated as you should have been. Where do you get it from, your father? Big hugs, Sharyn, and a Happy Easter. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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It is, indeed, very personal Sandra. My mother is slowly sliding away (though is MUCH better than when I first arrived). She just came out of hospital and when she's not in her own environment she totally freaks out and withdraws. She has always been a strange creature - we've never really gotten along very well. But I adored my father and I also adored my mother's mother, even though she was a raging alcoholic. She was loud and wonderful. Amazing what's nature and what's nurture, hmm?
Blessings and Happy Easter my dear! And, of course, a huge 'mahalo' for your lovely reading, review and magic sixer! Sharyn
Comment from healfromwithin
This was wonderfully-filled with images and character. I could see and feel my way around in the poem. I liked the stacked font for emphasis.
Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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This was wonderfully-filled with images and character. I could see and feel my way around in the poem. I liked the stacked font for emphasis.
Well done.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thx so much my dear!
:)Sharyn
Comment from MizKat
Hi Sharyn,
Your poem is nicely written, like everything you post. It is an enjoyable write. It kept my interest all the way through.
Kat
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Hi Sharyn,
Your poem is nicely written, like everything you post. It is an enjoyable write. It kept my interest all the way through.
Kat
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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thx so much Kat :) S
Comment from Terrie DeGolier
Excellent description of a home that was a show piece, how over the years it deteriorated like the human body, it too showed wrinkles in the plaster, the wall paper. Sad how you had to say good bye but glad you were able to be with her, other wise you would always regret and that's one word we should never experience. Thank you for sharing. Terrie
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Excellent description of a home that was a show piece, how over the years it deteriorated like the human body, it too showed wrinkles in the plaster, the wall paper. Sad how you had to say good bye but glad you were able to be with her, other wise you would always regret and that's one word we should never experience. Thank you for sharing. Terrie
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much for your lovely reading & review, Terrie, and also for your wonderful six! So much appreciated! :)Sharyn
Comment from Ben Colder
Interesting write with deep understanding. The wording is strong and it has a good flow. I thought of Oil Olay then read on. Well done poet. Shalom.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Interesting write with deep understanding. The wording is strong and it has a good flow. I thought of Oil Olay then read on. Well done poet. Shalom.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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thx so much Ben! :)Sharyn
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
Love these bits:
cold gold-leaf stiffly curlicued,
Even the landscape stood at attention,
stone walls just so--like my mother.
Years have uncurled. the rot is palpable,
peach plaster cracks, spidering, fractured.
Wallpaper, long-fussed and flowered, peels back
one plodding clock much ...like my mother.
Stark now, darkling, I look
through windows barred by creepers
pARCHed and ARCHing
skeletons of roses crumble, tumbling into walls
Hush ...
only
the cobwebs
stir
with her
breath.
Which one are you again? Her cluttered brain flutters.
Come, sit beside me, child. Her hands caress the satin quilt.
Don't worry about the wrinkles now. She smiles.
I know you'll fix them when I'm gone.
What can I say but 'behold genius'. TASMANIA 'tis of thee!!
Regards:
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Love these bits:
cold gold-leaf stiffly curlicued,
Even the landscape stood at attention,
stone walls just so--like my mother.
Years have uncurled. the rot is palpable,
peach plaster cracks, spidering, fractured.
Wallpaper, long-fussed and flowered, peels back
one plodding clock much ...like my mother.
Stark now, darkling, I look
through windows barred by creepers
pARCHed and ARCHing
skeletons of roses crumble, tumbling into walls
Hush ...
only
the cobwebs
stir
with her
breath.
Which one are you again? Her cluttered brain flutters.
Come, sit beside me, child. Her hands caress the satin quilt.
Don't worry about the wrinkles now. She smiles.
I know you'll fix them when I'm gone.
What can I say but 'behold genius'. TASMANIA 'tis of thee!!
Regards:
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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I always love it when you love my work Stephen! Thank you so very much, as always, for your detailed and sensitive review, and, of course, for your lovely six!
:)Sharyn
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Dear Sharyn: I sensed that you 'hurt' big time when you wrote the piece. A sense of loss perhaps? I've cried too when I had to climb a mountain that I wished to God never existed.
3 BIIIGG HUUUGGS: Steve C
Comment from Pili Pubul
You express in astounding moving detail the inevitable
changes of life's journey. Fabulous style , clear realistic imagery
powerful last three lines. Thank you for sharing. Pili
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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You express in astounding moving detail the inevitable
changes of life's journey. Fabulous style , clear realistic imagery
powerful last three lines. Thank you for sharing. Pili
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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My pleasure Pili - thank you for your wonderful response and for your magic six!
:)Sharyn
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You are so welcome. Pili
Comment from Gungalo
Don't worry about the wrinkles now. She smiles.
I know you'll fix them when I'm gone.
So sad yet so true girl. It seems to be an awakening of sorts for them. Sigh it's hard not to be remembered by your own mother but deep down inside ... she knows.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Don't worry about the wrinkles now. She smiles.
I know you'll fix them when I'm gone.
So sad yet so true girl. It seems to be an awakening of sorts for them. Sigh it's hard not to be remembered by your own mother but deep down inside ... she knows.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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thx so much Pam! :)S
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Smile
