Wrinkles
coming home ... to say goodbye ...92 total reviews
Comment from Yvon
An interesting piece of literature that is a little depressing but shows the life of someone a bit obsessed by neatness and appearance. A good read.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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An interesting piece of literature that is a little depressing but shows the life of someone a bit obsessed by neatness and appearance. A good read.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thx so much Yvon! :)Sharyn
Comment from sunnilicious
My mother was the same way with the house too. But isn't that how a home should be.... I'm just happy for neat and clean. Anyways, great visual imagery created. Creative poem. Expressive too. Fabulous work.
Happy Easter
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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My mother was the same way with the house too. But isn't that how a home should be.... I'm just happy for neat and clean. Anyways, great visual imagery created. Creative poem. Expressive too. Fabulous work.
Happy Easter
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Bless you sunni - Happy Easter to you too!
:)Sharyn
Comment from PaddyMac
You really take me back to my childhood with this! My mother kept the "good things" in case better people than her own family arrived! How weird is that!
I like the punctuation and the italics you use to emphasise, and I like how you tell about how you feel. Two verses of description about the house lose some of the feeling you put into this story, but your last verse is great, capturing the here and now. Well done, a very enjoyable read!
Paddy
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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You really take me back to my childhood with this! My mother kept the "good things" in case better people than her own family arrived! How weird is that!
I like the punctuation and the italics you use to emphasise, and I like how you tell about how you feel. Two verses of description about the house lose some of the feeling you put into this story, but your last verse is great, capturing the here and now. Well done, a very enjoyable read!
Paddy
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thx Paddy! :)Sharyn
Comment from kiwijenny
A sad commentary on the life where things are so important....more laughter less attention to details needed
This is beautifully written sadness
God bless
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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A sad commentary on the life where things are so important....more laughter less attention to details needed
This is beautifully written sadness
God bless
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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thx so much jenny! :)Sharyn
Comment from Karen B.
A sad life story, beautifully recounted in your poem. Going home that final time has a way of bringing back so many memories, and along with them too often pain. A wonderful and heartfelt poem.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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A sad life story, beautifully recounted in your poem. Going home that final time has a way of bringing back so many memories, and along with them too often pain. A wonderful and heartfelt poem.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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thx so much Karen! :)Sharyn
Comment from Joy Graham
This is very sad. I just lost my dad last June so I know the feeling of going home to say good bye. We said our good byes when mom sold the house. Dad was in a personal care facility. None of us got the chance to say good bye to Dad. His passing was sudden and final. He was all alone when it happened. I'm grateful that mom is in fairly good health. I hope she stays with us for a good many years.
Your poem evoked many emotions I have been going through of late. Yes, it all changes as the years go on and we can't ever go back to the way it once was.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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This is very sad. I just lost my dad last June so I know the feeling of going home to say good bye. We said our good byes when mom sold the house. Dad was in a personal care facility. None of us got the chance to say good bye to Dad. His passing was sudden and final. He was all alone when it happened. I'm grateful that mom is in fairly good health. I hope she stays with us for a good many years.
Your poem evoked many emotions I have been going through of late. Yes, it all changes as the years go on and we can't ever go back to the way it once was.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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yes, it seems like some painful rite of passage, Joy, doesn't it? Thank you so much for reading & reviewing.
:)Sharyn
Comment from amada
This is such a profound and metaphorical work. I was stunned with some of the appearance of some of my childhood days. My best " from once immaculate seams and all ... screams ... silent save."
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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This is such a profound and metaphorical work. I was stunned with some of the appearance of some of my childhood days. My best " from once immaculate seams and all ... screams ... silent save."
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much for your sensitive reading & review amada - and, of course, for your wonderful six!
:0Sharyn
Comment from Just Pete
The aging and decline of a life, so wonderfully told. Poetically sad, the change of imagery is is so well described. Story telling in a free verse format - a great piece of writing.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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The aging and decline of a life, so wonderfully told. Poetically sad, the change of imagery is is so well described. Story telling in a free verse format - a great piece of writing.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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thx so much Pete! :)Sharyn
Comment from Nosha17
I think that generation tended to be rather formal and worry too much about the less important things. My mother was a bit like that, too. You have made good use of language and it had a smooth flow. Nice illustration and enjoyable read. Faye
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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I think that generation tended to be rather formal and worry too much about the less important things. My mother was a bit like that, too. You have made good use of language and it had a smooth flow. Nice illustration and enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thx so much Nosha! :)Sharyn
Comment from Dom G Robles
This poem with the picture is lovely, colorful and beautiful.
The tone is touching and elegant. The format of the poem as well, is captivating. The theme, the portrayal, the way it was woven is smooth and carries a nostalgic feeling. I was moved by its message. A child so innocent many years ago looking at a room like a museum, had grown to find back the place no longer as it was but a room with plastered cracks...Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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This poem with the picture is lovely, colorful and beautiful.
The tone is touching and elegant. The format of the poem as well, is captivating. The theme, the portrayal, the way it was woven is smooth and carries a nostalgic feeling. I was moved by its message. A child so innocent many years ago looking at a room like a museum, had grown to find back the place no longer as it was but a room with plastered cracks...Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much for your detailed and sensitive reading on this one Dom - and, of course, for your wonderful six (so much appreciated).
:)Sharyn
