Wrinkles
coming home ... to say goodbye ...92 total reviews
Comment from Tonulak
Dear Sharon,
This was a powerful poem that recalls some kind of Gothic fall of a great family or dynasty. There is sharp contrast between the well-manicured past and crumbling present. Great job--Ted
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Dear Sharon,
This was a powerful poem that recalls some kind of Gothic fall of a great family or dynasty. There is sharp contrast between the well-manicured past and crumbling present. Great job--Ted
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Bless you Ted! :)S
Comment from DonandVicki
A very sad wire about the mundane items and situations in life that do not seem so important when we know that the end is near. I loved your poem. Don and Vicki
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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A very sad wire about the mundane items and situations in life that do not seem so important when we know that the end is near. I loved your poem. Don and Vicki
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Thx so much Don & Vicki!!
:)
S
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi V...
~ This poem hit me head on, as we are experiencing the long goodbye of family member... The last stanza brings things into perspective...
~ Wrinkles indeed, they all get ironed out in the end...
Keep Smilin'... Jax
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Hi V...
~ This poem hit me head on, as we are experiencing the long goodbye of family member... The last stanza brings things into perspective...
~ Wrinkles indeed, they all get ironed out in the end...
Keep Smilin'... Jax
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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thx so much Jax! We all go thru this, it would seem ... a rite of passage, hmm? :)Sharyn
Comment from Emily George
Ah, but what time teaches you have caught this sentiment in your poem.
I love the way you have set out the lines it adds to the rolling frames of time in your work.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Ah, but what time teaches you have caught this sentiment in your poem.
I love the way you have set out the lines it adds to the rolling frames of time in your work.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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thx so much Emily!
:)Sharyn
Comment from L.M.Mullins
What an excellent free verse piece filled with wonderful alliteration. Stirs many emotions and memories some of us are all to familiar with. Great visual write.
L.M.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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What an excellent free verse piece filled with wonderful alliteration. Stirs many emotions and memories some of us are all to familiar with. Great visual write.
L.M.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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thx so much LM! :)Sharyn
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
I think we all need to learn that wrinkles are just wrinkles, nothing to sweat about. Great job with this and enjoy your mom as long as you have her
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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I think we all need to learn that wrinkles are just wrinkles, nothing to sweat about. Great job with this and enjoy your mom as long as you have her
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thx Liphe :)Sharyn
Comment from thequeencatalyst
Wow! Now this is a piece I really enjoyed! I can't think of anything I'd change, and the bright hue used for the background is a contrast to the slightly sombre mood the words produce. Well played. Congratulations on uploading such a lovely piece of prose :) Keep up the good work!
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Wow! Now this is a piece I really enjoyed! I can't think of anything I'd change, and the bright hue used for the background is a contrast to the slightly sombre mood the words produce. Well played. Congratulations on uploading such a lovely piece of prose :) Keep up the good work!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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thx Jasmine :)Sharyn
Comment from Petriesan
wrinkle the brocade? Taffeta, darling, taffeta. we miss so much of life worrying about the things that don;t affect us, the signs of having lived: like wrinkles and stains and tears.
I would leave the wrinkles in the satin quilt to remember her by
very good work here
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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wrinkle the brocade? Taffeta, darling, taffeta. we miss so much of life worrying about the things that don;t affect us, the signs of having lived: like wrinkles and stains and tears.
I would leave the wrinkles in the satin quilt to remember her by
very good work here
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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thx Pete! :)S
Comment from Joan E.
I relished your use of detail and alliteration to recreate the vivid scene. Thank you for sharing this poignant description of your mother in the past and present. I relished your use of "uncurled" and your return to the "wrinkles" at the end of this touching story. Well done! -Joan
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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I relished your use of detail and alliteration to recreate the vivid scene. Thank you for sharing this poignant description of your mother in the past and present. I relished your use of "uncurled" and your return to the "wrinkles" at the end of this touching story. Well done! -Joan
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Bless you Joan - so glad you enjoyed this one and a huge 'thank you' for one of those lovely sixes!
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from Janelle
Wow! Such a beautifully written poignant poem.
screams ... silent
save for the brave heartbeat of
one
plodding
clock
much ...
like
my mother.
such an evocative presentation. It allows the reader to feel the drama yet savour the words. I love it when a poet goes off the beaten path and dares to place the words in a seemingly random way, but is actually a clever ploy to add depth and drama to their words.
There are so many people who live their lives in such a structured and regimental way, I think it makes them feel safe and secure to a degree but I can never see the point of being a slave to all your 'things'. This is an excellent poem in every way. I hope it isn't auto-biographical, but if it is, then I trust you and your Mum found a way to connect and be relaxed with each other before she passed. Regards, Jan
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Wow! Such a beautifully written poignant poem.
screams ... silent
save for the brave heartbeat of
one
plodding
clock
much ...
like
my mother.
such an evocative presentation. It allows the reader to feel the drama yet savour the words. I love it when a poet goes off the beaten path and dares to place the words in a seemingly random way, but is actually a clever ploy to add depth and drama to their words.
There are so many people who live their lives in such a structured and regimental way, I think it makes them feel safe and secure to a degree but I can never see the point of being a slave to all your 'things'. This is an excellent poem in every way. I hope it isn't auto-biographical, but if it is, then I trust you and your Mum found a way to connect and be relaxed with each other before she passed. Regards, Jan
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thx so much Jan - I'm so delighted that you could relate and a huge 'mahalo' for your lovely six!
:)Sharyn
