Wrinkles
coming home ... to say goodbye ...92 total reviews
Comment from Zue65
Your poem speaks of the memory of your mother, your growing up years with her and how she turned your house into a museum rather than a cozy home, how she changed and have mellowed through the years. I enjoyed reading your poem. God bless.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Your poem speaks of the memory of your mother, your growing up years with her and how she turned your house into a museum rather than a cozy home, how she changed and have mellowed through the years. I enjoyed reading your poem. God bless.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much nassus! :)Sharyn
Comment from Robert Lee Brown
Sharyn, Thanks for the referral. Your mastery of the free verse is obvious and your motivation to entertain enables you to pen a piece that clearly demonstrates both. This is a winner, a keeper, a short script for entertaining. I enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing with your friend, Bob
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Sharyn, Thanks for the referral. Your mastery of the free verse is obvious and your motivation to entertain enables you to pen a piece that clearly demonstrates both. This is a winner, a keeper, a short script for entertaining. I enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing with your friend, Bob
Comment Written 22-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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You know me well by now, Bob. I always write my pieces to be read aloud or performed.
Big hugs,
Sharyn
Comment from Leineco
A rare "enthralling" idea - the metamorphosis of wrinkles. From the dread imposed in childhood - to the symbol of forgiveness. I forget sometimes, how icons change as we age. What once was bitter becomes sweet, what once was sweet becomes bitter.
You made me think of the many, many things that have peaked and wane in my lexicon of importance as time allowed more and more light to leak in.
Beautifully written :-)
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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A rare "enthralling" idea - the metamorphosis of wrinkles. From the dread imposed in childhood - to the symbol of forgiveness. I forget sometimes, how icons change as we age. What once was bitter becomes sweet, what once was sweet becomes bitter.
You made me think of the many, many things that have peaked and wane in my lexicon of importance as time allowed more and more light to leak in.
Beautifully written :-)
Comment Written 22-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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thx so much Leineco! :)S
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Oh this is so lovely. Beautifully written and beautifully displayed. A real earthy story - I love 'heartbeat of one plodding clock - much like my mother' a very moving poem. (The Darkling Thrush - Thomas Hardy) Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Oh this is so lovely. Beautifully written and beautifully displayed. A real earthy story - I love 'heartbeat of one plodding clock - much like my mother' a very moving poem. (The Darkling Thrush - Thomas Hardy) Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 22-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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oops - got my birds mixed up Dorothy - Keats was the nightingale, I stand corrected! :):):)
Comment from ravenblack
Nothing lasts with in the march of time, the once perfect house now a "Dorian Gray" matching your mother. I really like how you incorporate sleeping beauty. If I remember correctly, in the story, everything was covered in impassable thickets of thorn. Here, almost a mundane mockery, " skeletons of roses crumble, tumbling into walls/ of lush and lonely weeds, mocking all". Only the cobwebs stir with her breath- excellent line, especially setting it apart to stagger in slow motion.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Nothing lasts with in the march of time, the once perfect house now a "Dorian Gray" matching your mother. I really like how you incorporate sleeping beauty. If I remember correctly, in the story, everything was covered in impassable thickets of thorn. Here, almost a mundane mockery, " skeletons of roses crumble, tumbling into walls/ of lush and lonely weeds, mocking all". Only the cobwebs stir with her breath- excellent line, especially setting it apart to stagger in slow motion.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Thx so much, Ed! I always appreciate a six coming from you! :)Sharyn
Comment from Rainbowsofhappiness
Simply stunning, emotionally poignant piece of poetry! I was close to tears as a result of the eloquent manner with which the writer minutely described the aging home of her youth. I liked the term "sleeping beauties" to describe the withered roses for beneath their wrinkled petals beauty remains alive much like in her mother's aging home which has cracked paint, peeling wallpaper and cobwebs now, but the memories of its former glory will live forever in her mind in the beauty forms they once were. The description of the plaster as fractured and spidering is an astute observation. Great use of alliteration in peach/plaster, screams/silent, creepers/crawling, greenly/gardened, and she/smiles. I love how the writer changes the tone of the character of the mother as the poem and time, go on. The tone goes from cold, abrasive, and materialistic, to sweet, needy, loving, and carefree almost. The writer creates the changed state of the once pristine, perfectly adorned home to match the changed aging soul of their mother. The adjectives used to describe the aging home, the roses in the garden, and the aging home's general appearance is exquisite! The photo accompanying this poem is perfectly suited to depict the result of aging in humanity. This was an intricate, beautifully written poem deserving no less than six stars! Magnificent!
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Simply stunning, emotionally poignant piece of poetry! I was close to tears as a result of the eloquent manner with which the writer minutely described the aging home of her youth. I liked the term "sleeping beauties" to describe the withered roses for beneath their wrinkled petals beauty remains alive much like in her mother's aging home which has cracked paint, peeling wallpaper and cobwebs now, but the memories of its former glory will live forever in her mind in the beauty forms they once were. The description of the plaster as fractured and spidering is an astute observation. Great use of alliteration in peach/plaster, screams/silent, creepers/crawling, greenly/gardened, and she/smiles. I love how the writer changes the tone of the character of the mother as the poem and time, go on. The tone goes from cold, abrasive, and materialistic, to sweet, needy, loving, and carefree almost. The writer creates the changed state of the once pristine, perfectly adorned home to match the changed aging soul of their mother. The adjectives used to describe the aging home, the roses in the garden, and the aging home's general appearance is exquisite! The photo accompanying this poem is perfectly suited to depict the result of aging in humanity. This was an intricate, beautifully written poem deserving no less than six stars! Magnificent!
Comment Written 22-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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oh I LOVE such a strong and lovely response to my piece! Your detailed reading and response are so much appreciated. Bless you, too, for your lovely six my dear!
:)Sharyn
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Thank you for your kind words! You are most welcome for the six star review but that honor is all yours! Thank you for allowing me into a part of your world!
Have a lovely day!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This is wonderful imagery. I can picture being there myself, remembering the days when wrinkles and perfection mattered. Now all that matters is taking the next breath, and all too soon that will stop too. Lives are lived and few traces remain. Things change with time and age. We keep a few mementoes to remind us, whether we wish to remember or not.
A powerful piece, Sharyn. Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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This is wonderful imagery. I can picture being there myself, remembering the days when wrinkles and perfection mattered. Now all that matters is taking the next breath, and all too soon that will stop too. Lives are lived and few traces remain. Things change with time and age. We keep a few mementoes to remind us, whether we wish to remember or not.
A powerful piece, Sharyn. Well done.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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thx so much Phyllis! :)
Comment from Irish Rain
Beautiful, and so touching, what time does, and can do. What was once so important, now secondary, a lot of people have their priorities confused...time is always the great equalizer...lovely. Blessings tonight!
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Beautiful, and so touching, what time does, and can do. What was once so important, now secondary, a lot of people have their priorities confused...time is always the great equalizer...lovely. Blessings tonight!
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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thx so much Jo! :)Sharyn
Comment from Glasstruth
Sad, but your detailed descriptions with your unique style as in describing things like "my house was more a museum than a home" to "Hush ... only the cobwebs stir with her breath," took me from your younger days to the present with a superbly well written piece of free verse that can't be any better than this. Awesome! Les
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Sad, but your detailed descriptions with your unique style as in describing things like "my house was more a museum than a home" to "Hush ... only the cobwebs stir with her breath," took me from your younger days to the present with a superbly well written piece of free verse that can't be any better than this. Awesome! Les
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Bless you Les! As always - :) S
Comment from Bill Schott
This is a poem that resonates with me. I have visited all my aging grandparents and my parents during those final days and hours. I took in the ambience that was automatically compared in my mind between the then and the present. Startling and depressing even now. Nice writing.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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This is a poem that resonates with me. I have visited all my aging grandparents and my parents during those final days and hours. I took in the ambience that was automatically compared in my mind between the then and the present. Startling and depressing even now. Nice writing.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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thx so much Bill - I think this one resonates with a surprising number of people ... I guess we all face similar 'rites of passage' at some time in our lives, hmm?
:)Sharyn
