Comment from DALLAS01

Excellent

Off to a good start. couple of things below might want to check.

(idgit) didn't know if this was a type error or not.

a' old cum bags (did you mean scum)

when I covered for you after (your) run your bike into your dad's car.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014

Thanks, Dallas, and I mean all of them as they were written, except for that last "you"/"your". It's since been changed. Danny's mouth is not too civilized, in case you haven't picked up on that. Cum bag is just another way of saying slut, or whore, only far more vulgar.

reply by DALLAS01 on 21-Apr-2014

I wasn't sure about that one. Gotcha

reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014

8>}

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

Boys will be boys but somehow God left good sense out when he installed their brains. They are so full of mischief they are dangerous and even if they do have it, if someone would double dare them they would have to do the wrong thing just to prove how brave they are. Sounds like a dark adventure...
Well done. Nancy

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014

Thanks, Nancy, and you are dead-on concerning boys. All that false bravado and testosterone does tend to get us into trouble sometimes. I appreciate your kind review.

Comment from sibhus

Excellent

A really good start, and I thought the dialogue was excellent. It does sound like a couple of tweens having a typical conversation between bestes buds. This is a good build up for what I'm sure will be something really nasy ha, ha. Good stuff, Dean.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014

Thanks a bunch, sibhus. I'm really glad you liked it.

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

So far it sounds harmless...just an old boneyard. But of course it has to be more than that, which they'll not disover till its too late to escape. :)

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014

Thanks, Phyllis, and you're right. Except I'm not entirely sure what adventure these two boys will take us on. They're doing the wring, not me, lol.

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

Well, this page has pulled me in, and that has to be good. I love the dialogue between the two lads, and all the 'Pinky swear' parts, loved that. So they are going to the cemetery tonight, I am looking forward to the next part! xsx Sandra

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014

Thanks very much, Sandra, and I'm very glad to hear that you did. Happy Easter to you & yours!

reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 20-Apr-2014

And a Happy Easter to you too. :) xsx

Comment from Andrewajgblue

Excellent

This was really good, I wanted to carry on and see what happens ? I'm guessing it will a messy night, can't wait for the next instalment as I really like the characters, brilliant,
Andrew

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014

Thanks, Andrew, I'm really glad that you liked it! Happy Easter to you & your, my friend.

Comment from billscott

Exceptional

I just kept reading and it stopped.

I trust you have more on the way.

Hope so....great hook, dialogue, etc

Can't wait for part two!

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014

I do, Bill, and thanks for taking the time to read and review it for me. I appreciate any suggestions you might have along the way, as well. The characters in this story are leading me by the nose, so even I will be surprised at their final destination. Part two coming very soon. Happy Easter to you, my friend!

Comment from mfowler

Excellent

Well Dean, this sets up a very interesting journey the bone yard. You've used this bud on bud conversation really well in order to draw your characters and to place them in the setting and plot. Your dialogue is excellent, in what appears to an Irish brogue. There's not a lot of brain power at work in these dudes, but I imagine that's what will make their antics play out with full comic effect. This looks like a good story to follow. I'll keep my eyes peeled. Well done!

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 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014

Thank you, Mark, I am really happy that you like it thus far. The characters are leading me along in this one, so we'll all be surprised to see where they take us.

reply by mfowler on 20-Apr-2014

I think your imagination will more than cope with a cemetery setting. Dean. You're often making 'grave' decisions (hic!). Have a great day.

reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014

Hah, often met with 'grave' circumstances, too, lol...

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

I love reading anything that has a backwoods feel and style. Not one fer curect gramer, ya know. LOL. This has the start for an spine tingling journey and you built the anticipation up nicely. I already, as a mother, want to put the brakes on Timmy's friendship with the hoodlum Dan-O. Great start and I'll be one of the first to say I'm on board.

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 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014

Hah, me neither, GW. Curect gramer ain't what it's cracked up ta' be, huh? I really appreciate your review, and happy Easter to you & yours!