Comment from Willowsong

Excellent

I absolutely adored the drama! It flowed flawlessly and had me wowed. The added artwork is superb, as if she went to his grave afterwards and scrawled the words herself.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2014

Tthank you for the kind review and welcome to fanstory.

reply by Willowsong on 18-Apr-2014

It was my pleasure and thank you for the warm welcome :)

Comment from Tonulak

Excellent

LOL:)
I thought this was very clever and funny. Especially because you encorporated a McGiver episode. Nice work all around. Best of luck in the contest--Ted

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014

Glad you found it funny. Thanks

Comment from nelliesellie

Excellent

I love the picture. I love the poem. I love the music. Pasty Cline's voice helped me through much heartache. My first husband cheated throughout our marriage. I am glad I did not shoot him. He is suffering much more by staying alive. Great work. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014

I have almost the same situation. He isn't doing well either.

Comment from RYME4U

Excellent

Very well done. It is smoothly rhymed and the humor is dry and subtle. The rhythm is well metered and the qartwork well chosen. Very good job.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014

Thanks for reviewing.

Comment from Leineco

Good

It's a cute poem, nice use of "staging terminology with camera and scene 2- near the climax) and it made me grin :-)

BUT - as this is a contest I have to subtract a star because you did not conform to the stated rules (i.e.
1)The title should be the name of your imaginary deceased person. â?¨
2) Keep it short (4 to 6 lines.) Remember, it must fit on a tombstone.

But it was a good write :-)




This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014

Whoops, didn't read all the rules, or I could have easily reduced this to six lines and changed the title. That's what happened when you tired. Thanks.

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Very good epitaph for the contest. I'm not sure the 2 persons should be mention, but why not - I don't know. Great picture. Great song by Patsy Cline - I like the Frankie Laine version. Both are good as is your epitaph, Good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014

Thanks for reviewing.

Comment from Righteous Riter

Excellent

Good use of the abcb rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming with bed/dead. Good perfect rhyming with dust/lust. Good alliteration with life/lust...she/shot. Good rhythm and flow. Good eye catching photo followed by a clear message.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014

Thanks for reviewing.

Comment from annp

Excellent

This made me laugh
very funny all the way through to the pun at the end
picture is perfect
great epitaph
great read
annp

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014

Thank you. Glad it brought a smile.

Comment from brentman99

Excellent

This looks like something Dean Kuch would write...

I love the comedy of it all. I love the climax pun - so fitting and effective. Of course, the reason it is funny is that it is likely to have happened at some point or another. I like her music, so Patsy Cline was fine by me, but maybe a bit over the top for others. But it all works. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest, Brent.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014

Thanks for the kind review. Glad you liked it. Dean is one of my hero's here on the site. So I am doubly flattered.

Comment from Njorgensen

Excellent

I love this...lol. So great to read something refreshing and humorous. I admire your word choice and rhythm in this. People sure get creative when it comes to betrayal, don't they? lol

Good job.

Njorgensen

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014

Ha ha. it's a universal issue...lol