Comment from healfromwithin

Excellent

Nice job on the storytelling and message. The pacing and meter was good. I think some of your lines would have a bit more power if you used commas, like: God, help me (and) Give me strength, Lord to cast--JMO

Good luck on your writing.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014

Thank you for your excellent review and suggestions, I appreciate it very much. I agreed with your suggestions and have made the changes. Happy Easter. Bill

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

Congratulations on the win. You vividly described a very human and common experience which frequently happens at work. Your trust in God to help you through this temptation was refreshing to read. Well done.
Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014

Thank you Janet for your nice comments, I appreciate it very much. Enjoy your Easter Sunday. Bill

Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

Great job with the topic. You take the reader through the source of and the desire to overcome the temptation, and the asking for the strength to do what is right for everyone involved. One moment of low resistance can devastate so many. Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014

Thank you my friend for your excellent review, I appreciate it. It won the contest.
Enjoy your Sunday. Bill

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

Good use of abcb rhyming
I like the sincere tone of the man praying to resist temptation
You depict well the way many marriages go astray - the woman at work is flirtatious, non-demanding, happy to go out for cocktails while the wife is the one asking him to remember to pick up diapers on the way home - it's just not a fair fight. Brooke

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

Thanks Brooke and you're absolutely right, it's not a fair fight. If God doesn't have a strong presence in a situation like this, the other man or woman will win the fight nearly every time. The gentleman in the poem used his faith to help him get through a very tempting proposition. It's a cruel world out there and getting worse all the time. Have a great weekend my friend. Bill

reply by adewpearl on 19-Apr-2014

My husband was a college professor. Funny thing about the junior class - it stays 21 forever. LOL A young woman loves to be taken out and treated like a grown up at a fancy restaurant while the wife is left at home trying to figure out how to cook for four on a limited budget, even more limited if the husband starts to spend his pay on date nights. Not a single college girl ever reminded him the heat bill was due or expected him to take an occasional turn at watching the kids. And they spent all their money on buying cute clothes for themselves, not the family. Men can be such idiots...

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

this is a brilliant entry for temptation poetry contest!
the flesh may be weak but the mind has to be strong.
thank you for sharing!
congrats on the win!

rebekka x

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

Thanks Rebekka for your nice review, I appreciate it. It was good to hear from you. Take care my friend. Bill

Comment from mfowler

Excellent

This is a very human experience. You are tempted, seriously, but conscience lies between you and a sin of great consequence. Your prayer for help here, is written with anguish and great guilt. It could be just what this man needs. Well done!

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

Thank you my friend for your heartfelt review, I appreciate your thoughts. Have a nice day. Bill

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

The workplace can be a minefield at times. One shares so much time with work colleagues that involvement is only one step away at times - one step too far, as your poem reminds us.

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

Thank you my friend for your excellent review, I appreciate your nice comments and you're right - it's only one step away at times. Have a great day. Bill

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

What a great message.....
This is very worthy of the contest win ...........
Congratulations............................................good on you for remaining strong....our responsibilities define us
God bless

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

Thanks Jenny for your great review, I appreciate your kind words. Have a nice day and God bless you. Bill

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Work harder and keep images of your wife and kids in a place where you can remind yourself of your blessings. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Congratulations on your win.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

Thanks Charlie for your nice comments, I appreciate your thoughts. Have a nice weekend. Bill

reply by c_lucas on 19-Apr-2014

You're welcome, Bill. Charlie.

Comment from johnny9969

Excellent

This was a beautiful poem. I enjoyed reading it very much. It gave great visuals. Rhyme was not forced. It read well, flowed graceful. Subject kept my interest. Exceptional work, and many blessings.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

Thanks Johnny for your excellent review, I appreciate your comments. Have a wonderful weekend my friend. Bill