Sins of My Father
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Green Sweaters"A coming of age story.
11 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
Another good read. Thoroughly enjoyable I relate too without the good looks and all huh!
as my g(G)randma says
Hehe liked this one "metrosexual"
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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Another good read. Thoroughly enjoyable I relate too without the good looks and all huh!
as my g(G)randma says
Hehe liked this one "metrosexual"
Comment Written 11-May-2014
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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Thank you for the great review and the spag alert. Gretchen
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
Splendid characterization here. Rory French as the narrator seems to give us a first-person account
In any case, handling it with wry humor sets it off.
Perhaps Roy indulges in hyperbole about his dad's bad behavior. However, his cordial and humorous dealig wit Rory refutes a reputtion of being bad.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Splendid characterization here. Rory French as the narrator seems to give us a first-person account
In any case, handling it with wry humor sets it off.
Perhaps Roy indulges in hyperbole about his dad's bad behavior. However, his cordial and humorous dealig wit Rory refutes a reputtion of being bad.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Gretchen.
You have done a great job showing the emotional feelings of a teenager. Rory is somewhat insecure about his appearance, which is so common to every teen. Great job capturing the true essence of this age group.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Hi, Gretchen.
You have done a great job showing the emotional feelings of a teenager. Rory is somewhat insecure about his appearance, which is so common to every teen. Great job capturing the true essence of this age group.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Selina Stambi
Love the concluding line, Gretchen.
There is such a sense of empathy with young people in your writing. This is surely a gift, my dear.
I really feel for young Rory ... especially with a handsome dad named Dean!
Love,
Sonali :)
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Love the concluding line, Gretchen.
There is such a sense of empathy with young people in your writing. This is surely a gift, my dear.
I really feel for young Rory ... especially with a handsome dad named Dean!
Love,
Sonali :)
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from Misrael
Poor Rory he is having a very hard time of it but I hope this story has a good ending to it. I feel sorry for Rory because of his father and because of all the kids at school. Good read and keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Poor Rory he is having a very hard time of it but I hope this story has a good ending to it. I feel sorry for Rory because of his father and because of all the kids at school. Good read and keep up the good work.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Rory is a pretty resourceful kid. He may hit some bumps but he'll make it okay. Thanks for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Gretchen! This is so good! It made me giggle several times and the way you ended the chapter ...dog-eat-dog world and he is on the menu! Hilarious! I loved his self image talk and how he tried to make Cassie look like her mom but couldn't!!! Wow Great! Nancy
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Gretchen! This is so good! It made me giggle several times and the way you ended the chapter ...dog-eat-dog world and he is on the menu! Hilarious! I loved his self image talk and how he tried to make Cassie look like her mom but couldn't!!! Wow Great! Nancy
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Rory is still pretty innocent in his view of the world. A far cry from Dean's view. It's kind of fun to see Dean through Rory's eyes. I remember being on the menu myself. I was never a main course, always the appetizer.
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. Another good installmetn. You have so captured the feel of high school(well, for those of us not in the in crowd). Rory, yup, not a name to inspire coolness. But, maybe, something good will come, one has to hope right?
padumachitta
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Hi. Another good installmetn. You have so captured the feel of high school(well, for those of us not in the in crowd). Rory, yup, not a name to inspire coolness. But, maybe, something good will come, one has to hope right?
padumachitta
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the great review. I appreciate the time you took to read and comment on this. Gretchen
Comment from Bill Schott
This chapter helps me fix Rory in his category in high school. He is part of the majority that thinks he's in the minority. Most people who write were never in the minority like Cassie.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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This chapter helps me fix Rory in his category in high school. He is part of the majority that thinks he's in the minority. Most people who write were never in the minority like Cassie.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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I was definitely in the outsiders crew. Not much popularity. Thanks for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Jay Squires
This is really a fun romp! I wish they had books like this when I was 15. All they had were those stupid papyrus rolls!
"Guess what Rory means? Red haired man. Isn't that the most pathetic meaning for a name ever?" [ I love these lines. They reveal your character's humor while at the same time his vulnerability. Three short lines and you've accomplished what whole chapters would have trouble doing.
"Have bouncy hair and eyes that look like they belong on traffic lights. Life isn't fair." [A longer sentence incorporating a cogent image, followed by a three word sentence, summing it up] Now that's brilliant!]
You've done such a good job with this chapter; it makes me wish I knew about Saturday.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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This is really a fun romp! I wish they had books like this when I was 15. All they had were those stupid papyrus rolls!
"Guess what Rory means? Red haired man. Isn't that the most pathetic meaning for a name ever?" [ I love these lines. They reveal your character's humor while at the same time his vulnerability. Three short lines and you've accomplished what whole chapters would have trouble doing.
"Have bouncy hair and eyes that look like they belong on traffic lights. Life isn't fair." [A longer sentence incorporating a cogent image, followed by a three word sentence, summing it up] Now that's brilliant!]
You've done such a good job with this chapter; it makes me wish I knew about Saturday.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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At least you had Papyrus rolls, I was toting those stone tablets. Not many back packs can stand up to those things. LOL. Thanks for the wonderful review and the valuable feedback. Gretchen
Comment from lancellot
Interesting. It reads like a chapter from a classic high school novel. You have the defined sets, a character with low self esteem, and awkward body. He even has the name and hair. I think you will need something new, or unusual to set it apart. Give the reader the unexpected.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Interesting. It reads like a chapter from a classic high school novel. You have the defined sets, a character with low self esteem, and awkward body. He even has the name and hair. I think you will need something new, or unusual to set it apart. Give the reader the unexpected.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the great review and the helpful comments. Gretchen
