Metamorphosis
Out of body experience18 total reviews
Comment from ShonMS
"I wish I could communicate", "It doesn't work from this direction". I especially like those lines in the second to last stanza. And the last line tells the unfortunate truth--funerals are more or less for those of us living, for closure. Best wishes.
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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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"I wish I could communicate", "It doesn't work from this direction". I especially like those lines in the second to last stanza. And the last line tells the unfortunate truth--funerals are more or less for those of us living, for closure. Best wishes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thanks
Comment from Dom G Robles
This is a contest entry written from the point of view of the deceased. Written in another perspective, the writer says, "funerals are for the living." In the first stanza of the poem, the writer's outlook of his inner body speaks of no regrets because he is now free. And the 2nd stanza talks about the lament that the friends and relatives have for him, the eulogies, the 3rd, the resurrection, wishing that he could talk but feels it does not work that way. And the 4th, the conclusion that funerals are for the living--friends and relatives gather to immortalize and socialize...
A concept of truth. My sincere congratulations. Dom
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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This is a contest entry written from the point of view of the deceased. Written in another perspective, the writer says, "funerals are for the living." In the first stanza of the poem, the writer's outlook of his inner body speaks of no regrets because he is now free. And the 2nd stanza talks about the lament that the friends and relatives have for him, the eulogies, the 3rd, the resurrection, wishing that he could talk but feels it does not work that way. And the 4th, the conclusion that funerals are for the living--friends and relatives gather to immortalize and socialize...
A concept of truth. My sincere congratulations. Dom
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you...
Comment from royowen
This a beautifully written ode to my "death"! Its really musing about something we can't possibly have any knowledge of! This I descriptively well written and the narrative is upbeat! The rhyme and near rhyme was good, and the meter even! Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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This a beautifully written ode to my "death"! Its really musing about something we can't possibly have any knowledge of! This I descriptively well written and the narrative is upbeat! The rhyme and near rhyme was good, and the meter even! Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thanks...
Comment from mfowler
You have penned a serious and thoughtful response to this prompt. Each verse looks at the reality of the experience, from the relief of release from body (probably illness) to the observation that communication doesn't work in this direction. Your verses are wellworked for rhythm and rhyme. I love your conclusion that funerals are for the living. Good luck!
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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You have penned a serious and thoughtful response to this prompt. Each verse looks at the reality of the experience, from the relief of release from body (probably illness) to the observation that communication doesn't work in this direction. Your verses are wellworked for rhythm and rhyme. I love your conclusion that funerals are for the living. Good luck!
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you...
Comment from Carole Rosa
To the author of Metamorphosis, Oh so right you are. Funerals are for the living. They give people a reason to believe that the person has actually passed. My friend of 55 years passed and she was in a closed casket. It's still hard for me to believe that she is dead. Seeing is believing. This is a very fine entry for the contest. Good luck. Carole
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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To the author of Metamorphosis, Oh so right you are. Funerals are for the living. They give people a reason to believe that the person has actually passed. My friend of 55 years passed and she was in a closed casket. It's still hard for me to believe that she is dead. Seeing is believing. This is a very fine entry for the contest. Good luck. Carole
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you...
Comment from Lysa Schuler
this was an interesting writ. A thoughtful piece. Meter was timed well. It gave a feeling of gloom, in a poetic light. creatively done. It also had a good finale. Excellent writ, and God bless.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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this was an interesting writ. A thoughtful piece. Meter was timed well. It gave a feeling of gloom, in a poetic light. creatively done. It also had a good finale. Excellent writ, and God bless.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you...
Comment from Charlene0513
As you said the dead are for the living. It finally gives them a chance to express their feelings to family and friends of just how your demise will effect them.
Charlene
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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As you said the dead are for the living. It finally gives them a chance to express their feelings to family and friends of just how your demise will effect them.
Charlene
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you...
Comment from LoannaLois
This says it all in the last line. You have written a beautiful meaningful poem.You have also used just the right words.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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This says it all in the last line. You have written a beautiful meaningful poem.You have also used just the right words.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you...
Comment from Bobby Jo
I totally agree that funerals are for the living. I feel that there are so many ways we need to be there for the loved ones who are suffering.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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I totally agree that funerals are for the living. I feel that there are so many ways we need to be there for the loved ones who are suffering.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you...
Comment from Jay Squires
This is the best contest entry I've read thus far.
I love the not -overly-religious feel to this though your belief system predominates. Very good. Well-balanced poem. You should do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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This is the best contest entry I've read thus far.
I love the not -overly-religious feel to this though your belief system predominates. Very good. Well-balanced poem. You should do well in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you...
