The Last Hope
Out of the ashes there is hope12 total reviews
Comment from Muffins
Yes, please continue. You have stir my interest in what happened to humanity, why are john and April captives, are they alive or in hell? The list goes on. As a writer, you have created magnificent story with rich dialogue, wonderful images and POV. Now that you have shared this you have to finish it. This story was given to YOU AND NO ONE ELSE! I can't wait to read more.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Yes, please continue. You have stir my interest in what happened to humanity, why are john and April captives, are they alive or in hell? The list goes on. As a writer, you have created magnificent story with rich dialogue, wonderful images and POV. Now that you have shared this you have to finish it. This story was given to YOU AND NO ONE ELSE! I can't wait to read more.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much. I appreciate the great review and rating. Yes, I am writing the next part now. I don't know if it will be four or five parts, that depends on the length, and the war.
Comment from Twilightspire
Oh hell yes it should continue! This story was a stroke of brilliance. I loved every part of it! The last line was the most brilliant and humorous line I've read in a good long while. Whether you intended it or not, this was a damn fine tale. Great job and seriously wish I had a six star for you.
-T.J.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Oh hell yes it should continue! This story was a stroke of brilliance. I loved every part of it! The last line was the most brilliant and humorous line I've read in a good long while. Whether you intended it or not, this was a damn fine tale. Great job and seriously wish I had a six star for you.
-T.J.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much, T.J. I knew you would understand it. It takes a reader with imagination to see what I was trying convey. Most didn't get it. I will write the second part and see what happens. Thank you.
JW
Comment from Zue65
FanStoy is really a powerhouse of creative writers, who can cook up just any kind of stories you can ever think of. The FanStorians never ran out of ideas and subjects to explore just like this story of yours. This is worth developing into a full blown novel.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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FanStoy is really a powerhouse of creative writers, who can cook up just any kind of stories you can ever think of. The FanStorians never ran out of ideas and subjects to explore just like this story of yours. This is worth developing into a full blown novel.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much. That's good to know.
Comment from Tatarka2
I'm not really crazy about this, I must admit. It's well-written, and there's certainly enough action and intrigue to keep the reader engaged. However, for me, it strains credulity enough that I don't think I'd read another chapter. I did think you did a good job with the prompt, though.
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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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I'm not really crazy about this, I must admit. It's well-written, and there's certainly enough action and intrigue to keep the reader engaged. However, for me, it strains credulity enough that I don't think I'd read another chapter. I did think you did a good job with the prompt, though.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you, although this is not a book. I'm curious, in what way or reason does it strain credulity? It is a fictional tale in the last man on Earth prompt. By definition it is not based on reality. I am confused.
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I do think you did a good job with that prompt. It's probably just personal taste. I think I would have gone with something a little less fantastical than demons, etc. - that strains credulity for me. But, it's probably just me.
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I understand, but they are not demons. I gave hints, but... That is what April was trying to get him to see.
Thanks for your time in reading a different sort of tale.
Comment from Green Lake Girl
You did a great job with this contest entry. It was very imaginative and well written. In my humble opinion, this could be a multiple chapter story, (in answer to your author's notes question.) You got my vote!
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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You did a great job with this contest entry. It was very imaginative and well written. In my humble opinion, this could be a multiple chapter story, (in answer to your author's notes question.) You got my vote!
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much. I appreciate that, and I think I will write another part.
Comment from adewpearl
you convey the main character's desperate loneliness well as he fantasizes about a fat granny LOL
you build suspense well as the knocking continues
interesting development with the medical techs
former, Florida state trooper - drop that comma
very very intriguing
good dialogue fascinating premise
Brooke
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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you convey the main character's desperate loneliness well as he fantasizes about a fat granny LOL
you build suspense well as the knocking continues
interesting development with the medical techs
former, Florida state trooper - drop that comma
very very intriguing
good dialogue fascinating premise
Brooke
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much, Brooke.
Comment from sibhus
I'll have to admit that you definitely have my curosity peeked. I was almost expecting so sort of alien experiment, but now I'm uncertain as to what your so-called devil is. Good writing that has a smooth pace, and definitely has what next factor going for it. Good piece, and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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I'll have to admit that you definitely have my curosity peeked. I was almost expecting so sort of alien experiment, but now I'm uncertain as to what your so-called devil is. Good writing that has a smooth pace, and definitely has what next factor going for it. Good piece, and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much. I will explain that in the next part.
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good introduction that grabs my attention as the mental state of the character is described. It's always interesting when someone looks at a pistol as if they want to end their life. Good transition between events. Clear dialogue. Good consistency within the pace leading to a conclusion of question for John.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Good introduction that grabs my attention as the mental state of the character is described. It's always interesting when someone looks at a pistol as if they want to end their life. Good transition between events. Clear dialogue. Good consistency within the pace leading to a conclusion of question for John.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Dean Kuch
What do I think? I think it's an excellent story, with a uniquely interesting concept. I also like the mystery surround the origins of Jo-Keel and Kadar. Are they beings from another world, alien life-forms? Or, are they something far more sinister, perhaps demons from the netherworld. And what of April, the woman in the other glass box? How did she come to be there? Why are they both there together? My guess, an alien race has, for some reason, decided that mankind deserves another chance, so procreation -- repopulating the world -- would be my assessment, were I to venture a guess.
In any event, it's a well written and intriguing story. I say go for it!
"When you've finished, have him moved to the (pins), but keep him separate..."------> Did you mean 'pens" here, as in cages?
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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What do I think? I think it's an excellent story, with a uniquely interesting concept. I also like the mystery surround the origins of Jo-Keel and Kadar. Are they beings from another world, alien life-forms? Or, are they something far more sinister, perhaps demons from the netherworld. And what of April, the woman in the other glass box? How did she come to be there? Why are they both there together? My guess, an alien race has, for some reason, decided that mankind deserves another chance, so procreation -- repopulating the world -- would be my assessment, were I to venture a guess.
In any event, it's a well written and intriguing story. I say go for it!
"When you've finished, have him moved to the (pins), but keep him separate..."------> Did you mean 'pens" here, as in cages?
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much. Yes, I will explain some things in the next part about who they are, and what is really going on.
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You're very welcome. I'll be looking forward to it!
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. A super story. Nice and long, something to get ones teeth into. And flipping scary to boot.
The last line is classic, and sends shivers down my spine. What a great twist.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Hi. A super story. Nice and long, something to get ones teeth into. And flipping scary to boot.
The last line is classic, and sends shivers down my spine. What a great twist.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much. I wanted to see how a longer story would fare against all the shorter flash entries. Now I know.
