The Hero Falls
Revealing the fallacy of a child's view of their parent.95 total reviews
Comment from kiwijenny
Oh, heart betrayal is the coldest...hardest hurt.........I hope writing lances the wound...............................well written.
...willow song...this is so poignant
God bless
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
  |
Oh, heart betrayal is the coldest...hardest hurt.........I hope writing lances the wound...............................well written.
...willow song...this is so poignant
God bless
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
-
Thank you so much for looking over my piece and your heartfelt response to it. That means a lot to me.
Comment from daniela.albu
The poem expresses a great pain in few words. The hero is the one imagined and the truth causes the fall of this hero. It is a tragic moment in one's life that is marked by disappointment and you expressed this feeling with inspiration.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
|
The poem expresses a great pain in few words. The hero is the one imagined and the truth causes the fall of this hero. It is a tragic moment in one's life that is marked by disappointment and you expressed this feeling with inspiration.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
-
Wow! I am humbled by your words. You said it perfectly. Thank you for your review. You have left me speechless :)
Comment from akulkumol
I felt like it's speaking about some kind of barrier is there between the lover and the loved one which poet is unable to overcome and feeling of guiltiness is overpowering the poet which he is trying to overcome. Just my opinion.Loved reading the poem and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
|
I felt like it's speaking about some kind of barrier is there between the lover and the loved one which poet is unable to overcome and feeling of guiltiness is overpowering the poet which he is trying to overcome. Just my opinion.Loved reading the poem and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
-
Thank you for taking the time to read my poem and for your perspective. Initially, I didn't want to put parameters around the subjects because I do like my poetry to be interchangeable to the individual interpreter. I can see how you came to your specific view. When I put it up to post though, there were places to make notes and a brief description. It was then, I decided to go ahead and reveal my personal subjects, but I am happiest when my poetry can speak on multiple levels. I appreciate your opinion and thank you humbly for sharing it with me.
Comment from lakeport
the hero falls, indeed that's a very heartfelt expressed poem. good luck at the contest. thanks for sharing it.God bless you. lakeport.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
|
the hero falls, indeed that's a very heartfelt expressed poem. good luck at the contest. thanks for sharing it.God bless you. lakeport.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
-
Thank you kindly. No matter the outcome of the contest, this has truly been a wonderful experience for me. I am eager to continue sharing my poetry with the people of FS.
-
your welcome.
could you please review my poem "Guiding Light"Thank you. lakeport.
-
It would be an honor to review your poem and as soon as the day rolls over I will. I've already reached my max today :-)
-
thank you very much,Lakeport.
Comment from beencounter
This poem fits the 5-7-5 poetry requirements. I wish that the font was a bit different because it was a little difficult to read the poem. I don't know the story behind the poem, but sadness is clearly evident.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
|
This poem fits the 5-7-5 poetry requirements. I wish that the font was a bit different because it was a little difficult to read the poem. I don't know the story behind the poem, but sadness is clearly evident.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
-
I respectfully thank you for your review. I will certainly take your font opinion into consideration and see if I can find a better suited one or perhaps even enlarge the lettering to make it easier to read. Perhaps you can check it again tomorrow and see if it made a difference for you. I appreciate your feedback.
Comment from queenv
I feel your pain. I hear our message. A knight in shining armour have never come my way. Be strong and time heals. This is well stated. Good job.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
|
I feel your pain. I hear our message. A knight in shining armour have never come my way. Be strong and time heals. This is well stated. Good job.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
-
Thank you for your kind words and review. I am fortunate enough to have found my "knight in shining armor", or rather he found me 16 years ago. It's through his love and strength that has helped me endure this hardship recently. I believe there is someone out there for everyone. It's when you least expect it, it appears before your eyes. Keep your head held high and your aim to the stars. Happy writing!
Comment from adewpearl
gorgeous presentation of your poem
which is in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count
vivid descriptive detail
good alliterative grouping of behind/bars/betrayed
and in love longing
good consonance and assonance in betrayed/embrace
strong expression of emotion in good poetic form
Brooke
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
|
gorgeous presentation of your poem
which is in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count
vivid descriptive detail
good alliterative grouping of behind/bars/betrayed
and in love longing
good consonance and assonance in betrayed/embrace
strong expression of emotion in good poetic form
Brooke
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
-
Thank you kindly for your well-rounded review. I truly appreciate your time and encouragement :)
Comment from Selina Stambi
You have the required syllabic count in each line.
You tell a sad story in three small lines with so few words.
All the best in the contest. Well done! Nice to meet you, Willowsong. Welcome to Fanstory.
Sonali :)
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
|
You have the required syllabic count in each line.
You tell a sad story in three small lines with so few words.
All the best in the contest. Well done! Nice to meet you, Willowsong. Welcome to Fanstory.
Sonali :)
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
-
Thank you for your time. Well met to you also. I'm happy to be here :-)
Comment from Saucey
Welcome to FS my name is Sheri and I go by Saucey here.
I appreciate the boldness it took to write this well constructed gem, therapeutic for you is my prayer. A child whatever age is suppose to be protected and loved (healthy) Fitting presentation to this sad situation, a perfect pic to compliment the content, 5-7-5 syllable count is on point.
I wrote a Short Work called "Hypocritical Bastard" you might be interested in checking out. Thanks for sharing, I know by experience that all things will work together for your good. Out from the ashes will emerge a beautiful soul. God bless.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
|
Welcome to FS my name is Sheri and I go by Saucey here.
I appreciate the boldness it took to write this well constructed gem, therapeutic for you is my prayer. A child whatever age is suppose to be protected and loved (healthy) Fitting presentation to this sad situation, a perfect pic to compliment the content, 5-7-5 syllable count is on point.
I wrote a Short Work called "Hypocritical Bastard" you might be interested in checking out. Thanks for sharing, I know by experience that all things will work together for your good. Out from the ashes will emerge a beautiful soul. God bless.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
-
Thank you for taking the time to read my work and for your feedback. It is truly appreciated. "Hypocritical Bastard" sounds very interesting. I will certainly give it a read. FS is a most encouraging gathering spot and it's helping me greatly through this rough time. This place has become my therapy :-D
-
We are happy to have you, our prayers are with you and you will get through this, this to will pass.
-
Thank you for your optimism. It has almost been a year since it has all started and there's still a long road ahead to travel. My biggest fear is what will the road look like once we've finally reached the end. Thank you for "fanning" me. You are my first official Fan! Everyday, a find new progress here on FS and it brightens my day and gives me the courage & strength to keep striving forward :)
-
The Son is too bright not to shine at the end:)
-
Indeed :)
Comment from TAB_that's me
Your poem is written in the perfect 5-7-5 form with the correct syllable count. I am so that it is a personal poem. I hope things will get better for you soon. Good luck in the contest:)
teresa
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
|
Your poem is written in the perfect 5-7-5 form with the correct syllable count. I am so that it is a personal poem. I hope things will get better for you soon. Good luck in the contest:)
teresa
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
-
Thank you for your review and kind words.
