The Hero Falls
Revealing the fallacy of a child's view of their parent.95 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Welcome to FanStory--I hope the site fulfills your goals for membership. I read your comment and send my condolences for your loss and my gratitude for your sharing your mother's wisdom.
Your 5-7-5 is poignant and the "steel bars" metaphor is powerful. Keep writing and sharing your poems--the process can be quite therapeutic and even help others realize they are not alone with their heartbreaking experiences. Warm regards and best wishes in the contest- Joan
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Welcome to FanStory--I hope the site fulfills your goals for membership. I read your comment and send my condolences for your loss and my gratitude for your sharing your mother's wisdom.
Your 5-7-5 is poignant and the "steel bars" metaphor is powerful. Keep writing and sharing your poems--the process can be quite therapeutic and even help others realize they are not alone with their heartbreaking experiences. Warm regards and best wishes in the contest- Joan
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Thank you kindly for your positive feedback and warm welcome. I have come to truly enjoy my daily experiences here. FS is filled with some wonderful people :)
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I'm glad to hear your positive feedback--I've been a member for six years. Cheers- Joan
Comment from Jackarrie
Behind cold, steel bars
Her heart betrayed by his love
Longing for embrace
This is a sad 5-7-5 poem, in a few words it tell an awful lot. especially it speaks of pain. I take it is is a big disappointment in one of your parents, because of a coldness and your feel unloved.
I have experienced this from my Mom, it took a breakdown, for me to live with acceptance and understanding.
I hope you will find peace, you will get a lot from writing, I do.
Well done Mary
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2014
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Behind cold, steel bars
Her heart betrayed by his love
Longing for embrace
This is a sad 5-7-5 poem, in a few words it tell an awful lot. especially it speaks of pain. I take it is is a big disappointment in one of your parents, because of a coldness and your feel unloved.
I have experienced this from my Mom, it took a breakdown, for me to live with acceptance and understanding.
I hope you will find peace, you will get a lot from writing, I do.
Well done Mary
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much for the 6 stars! You're the first one to give me that many :) You're quite perceptive about the emotion entailed in the poem. I'm not sure I've reached my breaking point just yet, mostly because circumstances are preventing me from truly expressing myself just yet but I couldn't let the pain fester any longer and writing it giving me the outlet I need at the moment. I appreciate your time and kind words. Peace be with you.
Comment from JonnyRhymes
You portray a broken heart most elegantly here. I believe that penning great poems such as these is a brave and positive way of giving yourself an outlet for your current turmoil. Well done and very best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2014
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You portray a broken heart most elegantly here. I believe that penning great poems such as these is a brave and positive way of giving yourself an outlet for your current turmoil. Well done and very best wishes to you.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2014
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts and kinds words. Expressing myself in writing does help, especially when I'm unable to express them directly to the person of interest.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi Willowsong...
~ I hope the personal event you speak of is resolved quickly... There is nothing worse than to believe in someone, and then have your world shattered when they don't live up to what you have in your mind..
~ Blessings... Jax
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2014
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Hi Willowsong...
~ I hope the personal event you speak of is resolved quickly... There is nothing worse than to believe in someone, and then have your world shattered when they don't live up to what you have in your mind..
~ Blessings... Jax
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2014
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts and kind regards. I truly appreciate it.
Comment from Cedar
I have found in the past that writing about things that just aren't right in your life does help. Hopefully, it will you. We're here for you to bounce things off from. You have an excellent entry for the contest and I wish you good luck. WELCOME to this site. Bill
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014
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I have found in the past that writing about things that just aren't right in your life does help. Hopefully, it will you. We're here for you to bounce things off from. You have an excellent entry for the contest and I wish you good luck. WELCOME to this site. Bill
Comment Written 17-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I've come to truly enjoy spending a couple hours here everyday :)
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Your 5/7/5 follows all rules for syllable count. It is a sad story told with few words. 'Steel bars' being a prison or could be a metaphor for cold feelings! It is even more sad that its origin stems from a personal story of yours. I hope writing helps the healing process. Good Luck. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014
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Your 5/7/5 follows all rules for syllable count. It is a sad story told with few words. 'Steel bars' being a prison or could be a metaphor for cold feelings! It is even more sad that its origin stems from a personal story of yours. I hope writing helps the healing process. Good Luck. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 17-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You're spot on with your perspective.
Comment from Jean Lutz
Pain poured out in ink. May the release bring healing and new blossoms. Welcome to FanStory.com. I didn't begin to write until I joined this site at age 68 -- five and a half years ago. May your time here be blessed.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014
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Pain poured out in ink. May the release bring healing and new blossoms. Welcome to FanStory.com. I didn't begin to write until I joined this site at age 68 -- five and a half years ago. May your time here be blessed.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014
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Thank you for your kind thoughts.
Comment from Just2Write
The imagery for this 5/7/5 is strong, and conveys a story in just 3 lines. Not easy to do, my friend.
The Bleeding Heart picture is a perfect accompaniment because the name of the plant is so appropriate for those who love a person who is incarcerated.
Great poem - Good luck in the contest.
Rose.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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The imagery for this 5/7/5 is strong, and conveys a story in just 3 lines. Not easy to do, my friend.
The Bleeding Heart picture is a perfect accompaniment because the name of the plant is so appropriate for those who love a person who is incarcerated.
Great poem - Good luck in the contest.
Rose.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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Thank you kindly for sharing your thoughts with me. I appreciate the well received review.
Comment from mommydear42
It is a sad day when growing up we come to realize our parents are simply human, not super heros...and find that Mom really does NOT have all the answers.The meter is perfect.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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It is a sad day when growing up we come to realize our parents are simply human, not super heros...and find that Mom really does NOT have all the answers.The meter is perfect.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is a painful realization but good for the soul nonetheless. The lesson I've taken from this experience is knowing how dangerous and detrimental it can be to allow others to put you on such a high pedestal. I spend every day showing my own children that I'm not perfect and I'm just as fallible as the next person. I want them to love and respect me for who I am, flaws and all, not for what mask I can wear.
Comment from JavaJunkie
This is beautiful and I hope for you that your writing with sooth your soul as it helps you to bring your emotions to the page. You have done so beautifully and eloquently here. There is sadness and longing in this poem that is illustrated by your words and a great complimentary picture.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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This is beautiful and I hope for you that your writing with sooth your soul as it helps you to bring your emotions to the page. You have done so beautifully and eloquently here. There is sadness and longing in this poem that is illustrated by your words and a great complimentary picture.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Thank you for sharing your opinion and thoughts. Your kinds words are truly appreciated. Each day gets easier and the positive feedback I'm getting motivates me towards my next piece. :)
