Sins of My Father
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "What?"A coming of age story.
10 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
hmm definitely a weird Dad. huh! Good work enjoying this. Thanks for keeping me in there. I kind of relate as I remember being 15 and the only thing different was my Dad was gone.
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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hmm definitely a weird Dad. huh! Good work enjoying this. Thanks for keeping me in there. I kind of relate as I remember being 15 and the only thing different was my Dad was gone.
Comment Written 11-May-2014
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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Dad is definitely a unique fellow. Thank you for the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from Jay Squires
the bronze jello-like lady who was wedged into the booth [jello-like... lovin' the image.]
Once again, the queen of endings.
Well that brings me to the end of your postings. Gotta tell you I won a pump on chapter 7!!!!
You are a wonderful writer. I'm glad I fanned you so I can be alerted right away.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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the bronze jello-like lady who was wedged into the booth [jello-like... lovin' the image.]
Once again, the queen of endings.
Well that brings me to the end of your postings. Gotta tell you I won a pump on chapter 7!!!!
You are a wonderful writer. I'm glad I fanned you so I can be alerted right away.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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I swear I thought I had replied to this, but oh well. Thank you so much for reviewing this in it's entirety and for letting me know what works. Glad you got the pump on chapter 7. Thanks again, Gretchen
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You wrote something about older women trying to be as fashionable as a teen but not bringing it off ... I thought it was strange for you to say that and then the next chapter described her as a bronze jello-like lady. But, now were both up to speed!
Comment from Muffins
Electric charged characters with real life dialogue. There are many parent/ children relationships like the one shown here. Your characters are well thought out and the scene moves well. Lovely.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Electric charged characters with real life dialogue. There are many parent/ children relationships like the one shown here. Your characters are well thought out and the scene moves well. Lovely.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi,Gretchen.
You really caught the age gap between kids and parents. I really like how your reflect this through Rory's eyes, what he sees and his perception of his father.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Hi,Gretchen.
You really caught the age gap between kids and parents. I really like how your reflect this through Rory's eyes, what he sees and his perception of his father.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 08-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the great review. I appreciate the feed back. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
It is hard for kids to understand that their parents were young and pretty and vital at one time. That they actually had a life beyond parenting. LOL Did Dean get an occupation after he took on raising a child? Love this story Gretchen. Nancy
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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It is hard for kids to understand that their parents were young and pretty and vital at one time. That they actually had a life beyond parenting. LOL Did Dean get an occupation after he took on raising a child? Love this story Gretchen. Nancy
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Dean works at a lumber yard. It seemed fitting for someone who likes being outside and is uneducated beyond high school. Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from adewpearl
Good natural-sounding dialogue - sounds very typical of father and teenage son
I love the way the teenager looks at his 33 year old man as oldmanish. When he finds him whittling, that is too good :-)
It really is strange to see Dean from your previous book from his son's perspective. :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Good natural-sounding dialogue - sounds very typical of father and teenage son
I love the way the teenager looks at his 33 year old man as oldmanish. When he finds him whittling, that is too good :-)
It really is strange to see Dean from your previous book from his son's perspective. :-) Brooke
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from JavaJunkie
I love your description of the squishy looking lady...I think you capture how a kid thinks here nicely. And bronze jello like lady is hilarious .
Last line should say there(s) your proof.
I think this is very well written and an enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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I love your description of the squishy looking lady...I think you capture how a kid thinks here nicely. And bronze jello like lady is hilarious .
Last line should say there(s) your proof.
I think this is very well written and an enjoyable read.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from JB Lynn
"He's pretty [good-looking], at least [that's] what he tells me."
"She's sharp and when I was littler she was the closest thing to a momma I had." - Love the use of the word "littler" here. It lends so much authenticity to the voice of your narrator.
Another fascinating chapter that gives us a glimpse into the life of this youngster.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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"He's pretty [good-looking], at least [that's] what he tells me."
"She's sharp and when I was littler she was the closest thing to a momma I had." - Love the use of the word "littler" here. It lends so much authenticity to the voice of your narrator.
Another fascinating chapter that gives us a glimpse into the life of this youngster.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from Gladness
Well, dad is much younger than I thought. This chapter puts a few things in perspective. Found a couple spags:
at least that what he tells me(That's)
Well, there your proof. (there's)
You have a good way of putting things together.
Anita
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Well, dad is much younger than I thought. This chapter puts a few things in perspective. Found a couple spags:
at least that what he tells me(That's)
Well, there your proof. (there's)
You have a good way of putting things together.
Anita
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the wonderful review and the spag catch. I really appreciate it. Gretchen
Comment from Tatarka2
I thought this was just perfect for the audience you're writing for. Rory's voice is very clear, the characters are well-drawn and believable, and this is exactly how a 15-year-old would picture his world. I think you're on to something here. I would guess this would be a big hit with the young adult crowd.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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I thought this was just perfect for the audience you're writing for. Rory's voice is very clear, the characters are well-drawn and believable, and this is exactly how a 15-year-old would picture his world. I think you're on to something here. I would guess this would be a big hit with the young adult crowd.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the great review. I appreciate the honest feedback. Gretchen
