Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 87 "CHAPTER EIGHTEEN; PART FIVE"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
54 total reviews
Comment from SDTracyHarper
This was a very entertaining entry and smooth interaction between characters. Dialogue is clear, tight, and natural. This was good enough for me to overlook the pecan ice cream disclaimer. I like butter pecan ice cream. Very good work
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
  |
This was a very entertaining entry and smooth interaction between characters. Dialogue is clear, tight, and natural. This was good enough for me to overlook the pecan ice cream disclaimer. I like butter pecan ice cream. Very good work
Comment Written 18-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
-
Thank you for the kind review.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from rtobaygo
Hello:
So it is true...ice cream eaten from a container does help soothe one's emotions. It appears Paige's troubles may not be over (the Walkers).
Take care,
Ray
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
 |
Hello:
So it is true...ice cream eaten from a container does help soothe one's emotions. It appears Paige's troubles may not be over (the Walkers).
Take care,
Ray
Comment Written 18-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
-
Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
Comment from Aplgwest
As a poet I tend to enjoy writing description, but as a story reader I know an over abundance of scenery can drag a story down. The manner in which characters speak can reveal a lot about them so that the narrator needs to mention fewer pertinent facts about them.
This chapter part is my first experience with your writing. So, since I am not up on the who, what, where, and whys of the story, I can only give my first impression of the writing and action taking place. The dialogue felt natural and realistic, though I wasn't sure how much of a joke bbq buffalo was.
The ordering and eating of food was easy to picture, but the detail seemed a bit more than necessary to set the scene. Since the ice cream seems to be the most relevant item, you might consider focusing more on it and less on what to order for dinner. My interest was really caught with: "I guess I'm going to jail." Don't know who Paige is but asking to be held while in bed made me curious about her. I caught one typo: "No woman want's/wants..."
If I come across your future chapters I will make a point of reading them. I have the feeling your writing a worth-reading story.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
|
As a poet I tend to enjoy writing description, but as a story reader I know an over abundance of scenery can drag a story down. The manner in which characters speak can reveal a lot about them so that the narrator needs to mention fewer pertinent facts about them.
This chapter part is my first experience with your writing. So, since I am not up on the who, what, where, and whys of the story, I can only give my first impression of the writing and action taking place. The dialogue felt natural and realistic, though I wasn't sure how much of a joke bbq buffalo was.
The ordering and eating of food was easy to picture, but the detail seemed a bit more than necessary to set the scene. Since the ice cream seems to be the most relevant item, you might consider focusing more on it and less on what to order for dinner. My interest was really caught with: "I guess I'm going to jail." Don't know who Paige is but asking to be held while in bed made me curious about her. I caught one typo: "No woman want's/wants..."
If I come across your future chapters I will make a point of reading them. I have the feeling your writing a worth-reading story.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
-
Thank you for the kind review. I normally post every Sunday afternoon.
Comment from Christof McTarnahan
Good dialogue. There is no such thing as too much dialogue if it carries the story. Although not meant to be a stand alone piece, your passion and talent shines through in the writing.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
|
Good dialogue. There is no such thing as too much dialogue if it carries the story. Although not meant to be a stand alone piece, your passion and talent shines through in the writing.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Barbara - a well penned post for your story, and the beginning of the connection between Paige and Cash ...or at least the opening door...great read, smooth and brings the story threads closer.
Overall I enjoyed this post.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
|
Dear Barbara - a well penned post for your story, and the beginning of the connection between Paige and Cash ...or at least the opening door...great read, smooth and brings the story threads closer.
Overall I enjoyed this post.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
-
Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I enjoy hearing from you.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Perfect touch with the ice cream, Barbara. Cash is finally 'getting' his northern gal, with the help of his friends. This was a very enjoyable chapter to read.
Good luck to both you and your son, as well.
:0) Bev
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
|
Perfect touch with the ice cream, Barbara. Cash is finally 'getting' his northern gal, with the help of his friends. This was a very enjoyable chapter to read.
Good luck to both you and your son, as well.
:0) Bev
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
-
Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciated both.
-
You're very welcome, Barbara. :0)
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hi Barbara,
First of all - SO pleased your son is doing well. Continuing to pray .. :)
I loved the gentleness in this chapter. The ice cream was a masterful touch - yay, Mary Patt!
The vulnerable side of Paige is very sweet.
Sonali
No woman (wants) a man to believe that." .. no apostrophe required
She opened the freezer door(,) grabbed two containers of ice cream
problems, but for the most part(,) it's over." He
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
|
Hi Barbara,
First of all - SO pleased your son is doing well. Continuing to pray .. :)
I loved the gentleness in this chapter. The ice cream was a masterful touch - yay, Mary Patt!
The vulnerable side of Paige is very sweet.
Sonali
No woman (wants) a man to believe that." .. no apostrophe required
She opened the freezer door(,) grabbed two containers of ice cream
problems, but for the most part(,) it's over." He
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
-
Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I will fix those.
Comment from pbroussard209
This was an excellent chapter, I loved the clueless of Cash in the beginning. Mary Pat was correct, ice cream solves many problems. Whenever my teenage daughter breaks up with a boyfriend I'm off to the store to buy both cookie dough and ice cream, lol.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
|
This was an excellent chapter, I loved the clueless of Cash in the beginning. Mary Pat was correct, ice cream solves many problems. Whenever my teenage daughter breaks up with a boyfriend I'm off to the store to buy both cookie dough and ice cream, lol.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
-
How wonderful.!!!! A mom who knows her daughter's heart. I raised four boys. I appreciate the kind review.
Comment from lindalcreel
So glad that Stephen is home. I hope that he won't need surgery, and he will be back on his feet soon. Even when we consider them adults, they will always be our babies. I don't think Paige will go to jail, but I don't think her troubles are over yet. At least she has Cash to lean on. If he would just get over the whole Boston thing and realize that he loves her, they might have a chance at a bright future. One can only hope.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
|
So glad that Stephen is home. I hope that he won't need surgery, and he will be back on his feet soon. Even when we consider them adults, they will always be our babies. I don't think Paige will go to jail, but I don't think her troubles are over yet. At least she has Cash to lean on. If he would just get over the whole Boston thing and realize that he loves her, they might have a chance at a bright future. One can only hope.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
-
Steven is the way youngest of 4 boys. I appreciate your kind review.
-
Wishing you the best!
Comment from barkingdog
Cash was very sweet and understanding. Just what Paige needed. Its nice to see that she wants to rely on him.
You made me hungry with this one. LOL
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
|
Cash was very sweet and understanding. Just what Paige needed. Its nice to see that she wants to rely on him.
You made me hungry with this one. LOL
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
-
Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciate both.
