Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 84 "CHAPTER EIGHTEEN; PART TWO"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
53 total reviews
Comment from Janie King
Hey, I dig this chapter. She used her head and got the best of him, creepo. Good chapter sweetheart. God loves you and I do too.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Hey, I dig this chapter. She used her head and got the best of him, creepo. Good chapter sweetheart. God loves you and I do too.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
Comment from Lat 23 Writer
Good work yet again. A development that could take you anywhere you want to go. I loved it. Just a couple of queries though. I was a bit soft on the 'Smirked' I wonder if there were other ways you could 'show' his attitude rather than 'tell' it? We can tell from your dialogue (Which is great) that he is being sarcastic. Anyway might just be me. Smirked works no doubt about it.
The other one, once again probably a personal thing but I know that a good swift blow to the nether regions is almost mythical in its ability to even the score but in practice most males are very protective of that area and in a confrontation would be quick to react rendering the move useless. I feel that you were aware of that when you showed that Walker was relaxed but maybe it could use just a little more. A number of self defense professionals that I know tend to advise that when an uneven match (like this one) is being played out, if you opt for a quick distraction coming from the 'victim' blurring together with the rising knee can be a most effective leveler in some situations. A feint towards the eyes or a simple old point over the shoulder or a snappy little kick to the shin designed not to injure but to distract so that the knee in the groin can land home.
Anyway once again maybe just me and you are not favoring too much detail for this story.
All the best I'm hooked
Lat 23
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Good work yet again. A development that could take you anywhere you want to go. I loved it. Just a couple of queries though. I was a bit soft on the 'Smirked' I wonder if there were other ways you could 'show' his attitude rather than 'tell' it? We can tell from your dialogue (Which is great) that he is being sarcastic. Anyway might just be me. Smirked works no doubt about it.
The other one, once again probably a personal thing but I know that a good swift blow to the nether regions is almost mythical in its ability to even the score but in practice most males are very protective of that area and in a confrontation would be quick to react rendering the move useless. I feel that you were aware of that when you showed that Walker was relaxed but maybe it could use just a little more. A number of self defense professionals that I know tend to advise that when an uneven match (like this one) is being played out, if you opt for a quick distraction coming from the 'victim' blurring together with the rising knee can be a most effective leveler in some situations. A feint towards the eyes or a simple old point over the shoulder or a snappy little kick to the shin designed not to injure but to distract so that the knee in the groin can land home.
Anyway once again maybe just me and you are not favoring too much detail for this story.
All the best I'm hooked
Lat 23
Comment Written 23-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thank you for the kind review. This is the first time that Paige has really fought back so Walker wasn't expecting anything.
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Understood. I wasn't taking into account the fact that the two had history. I must say I love the way you've set the story up with a multitude of possible endings. Well done' Can't wait to see what happens next
Lat23
Comment from DonandVicki
Barbara, you have a talent for holding on to the readers attention with your words and rhythm of the story. I like the shadow art that gives attention to your work. Don
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Barbara, you have a talent for holding on to the readers attention with your words and rhythm of the story. I like the shadow art that gives attention to your work. Don
Comment Written 23-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Great post, Barbara. Way to go, Paige! She's no slouch. Dwayne might just have met his match. Love the 'where's a ghost when you need one? comment. LOL!
Good build up of tension and good dialogue flow. Great hook at the end, too.
I enjoyed the read, and look forward to the next as always.
Av
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
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Great post, Barbara. Way to go, Paige! She's no slouch. Dwayne might just have met his match. Love the 'where's a ghost when you need one? comment. LOL!
Good build up of tension and good dialogue flow. Great hook at the end, too.
I enjoyed the read, and look forward to the next as always.
Av
Comment Written 23-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
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Thank you for the kind review. Paige can be tough when she needs to be, just like most women. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Cajungirl
Great job, exciting and well-written, I am so glad Paige was able to take control of the dangerous situation. She had no problem defending herself. I am looking forward to see what happens to that no good greedy Walker.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
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Great job, exciting and well-written, I am so glad Paige was able to take control of the dangerous situation. She had no problem defending herself. I am looking forward to see what happens to that no good greedy Walker.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
Comment from Sankey
nOPE! nO sPAGS AND AGAIN A GOOD CHAPTER. sO GOOD TO SEE YOU BACK AGAIN. tOTASLLY CAPTURED I AM AS WELL AS THE FOLKS IN THE STORY BUT I AM SURE PAIGE CAN USE SOME yaNKEE PROWESS Sirry fir the caps stupid caps lock
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
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nOPE! nO sPAGS AND AGAIN A GOOD CHAPTER. sO GOOD TO SEE YOU BACK AGAIN. tOTASLLY CAPTURED I AM AS WELL AS THE FOLKS IN THE STORY BUT I AM SURE PAIGE CAN USE SOME yaNKEE PROWESS Sirry fir the caps stupid caps lock
Comment Written 23-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
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It has happened to me before. I had to get help from somebody who knows about computer. Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hi Barb
Talk about feeling tense while reading this chapter
You did a real good job keeping me (tense)
Pagie, indeed knew how to handle her attacker.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
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Hi Barb
Talk about feeling tense while reading this chapter
You did a real good job keeping me (tense)
Pagie, indeed knew how to handle her attacker.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
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Take care
Comment from Liandra
This is the first chapter I've read, now I'm hooked - will he knife her or not? I'll read some back chapters to catch up. I use a lot of dialogue usually, so for me it's fine.
Thanks for sharing,
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
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This is the first chapter I've read, now I'm hooked - will he knife her or not? I'll read some back chapters to catch up. I use a lot of dialogue usually, so for me it's fine.
Thanks for sharing,
Comment Written 23-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from mumsyone
Those disgusting question marks again, Barbara, but only one this time.
(I?ll) leave you and your friends alone."
"Take that(,) you,(no comma) creep."
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
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Those disgusting question marks again, Barbara, but only one this time.
(I?ll) leave you and your friends alone."
"Take that(,) you,(no comma) creep."
Comment Written 23-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
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I take those stupid ?'s out and they sneak back in. I am fed up with this nonsense. Thank you for the kind review.
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I know. I'm tired of them too, pointing them out over and over, in so many works. At least there was only one in yours this time; some have several. I wish Tom would do something about them. It's getting ridiculous.
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My original post was covered with them. I had to go through and taken them out of each line.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Yay, Page. She shows that being a tough Notherner has its advantages. She's able to fight off her attacker using wits and initiative. Well done, as always, barbara! Warmest regards, Bev
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
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Yay, Page. She shows that being a tough Notherner has its advantages. She's able to fight off her attacker using wits and initiative. Well done, as always, barbara! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment Written 23-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
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You're very welcome, barbara.
